Following Up on This Week's I, Anonymous: The Wedding with the VIP Room


If this is the way they "bring burning man and the likes to our family and friends" then they are getting Burning Man wrong. I've been to two burner weddings this summer alone, and neither required a $20 donation, was BYOB or had a VIP area.
Oh my... Honey, you have just opened yourself up to an entirely new level of hell.
I hope this bride and groom do not procreate.
This is the best possible outcome of the whole scenario, and I look forward to the party crasher about this like whoa.
I agree with #2. This whole thing is getting dark-sided.
I think an entire page of "Drunk Of The Week" is required in the wedding review.
This will live in infamy. Nobody does infamy like you guys!
i was SO hoping the bride would write in and reply! there must be a god!
Yeah, she's going to regret writing this letter. How is setting herself up for more public ridicule supposed to disperse the 'dark cloud' over her head?
so now she has to explain to all her guests why a reporter from the stranger is lurking at her wedding. something tells me she didn't think this thing all the way through. not unlike her wedding.
Still, I can't effing wait to read that Party Crasher.
You're "shocked and baffled"? Really? Let me give you a hint as to why you're getting this reaction: Asking people to pay to attend your wedding reception is incredibly tacky. You can try to wrap it in the 10 principles all you want, but it still comes out looking really bad.
I wish I could understand how she doesn't think it is tacky to have a effing cover charge for a wedding.
Oh my fucking god, Kelly O better go and take me as a +1, I FUCKING SWEAR TO GOD.

I'm from Texas, this is my fucking forte. BAD WEDDINGS ARE MY FUCKING FORTE, YOU HEAR ME?
And they all lived happily ever after!
xoxo, baconcat.
Typos and mispellings galore!! Now my 0% respect dropped to -15%... Charging to go to a stupid wedding is one thing, but being old enough to marry and not knowing how to spell is another thing altogether!
Not sure how to handle the attack, eh? It's not an attack, honey, it's a rant about your incredibly presumptuous behavior. You don't charge people to attend your wedding. Period. And if you can't afford one, you either do what I did (elope) or you have a potluck in the backyard.
Ohhh, there's only one thing I like better than an entitled and clueless bride, and that's an entitled, clueless, and DEFENSIVE bride.

This is going to be awesome... I would totally pay $20 just to watch this train wreck itself in slow motion.
this drama's just a ploy to increase ticket sales.
Excuse me...Burner Wedding?! Glad we are protecting all that str8 marriage by denying civil rights to everyone else. Seriously, burner wedding?!

Until I have the right to get married, I absolutely refuse to belief anyone who gets married dressed like this >> isn't a total TOOL.

And that is way before hearing about the VIP room, the cover charge, and the for-profit carnival games...all to emulate a week long ode to ball sweat where commerce is outlawed!

Way to represent!
Wow, it's even tackier than I originally imagined! I say just embrace it and go for full tacky. Instead of charging for drinks with cash, I suggest selling tickets at $10/11 tickets, and have varying ticket prices for different drinks (beer 6, house cocktail 8, premium cocktail 12, doubles are 2x the tickets) Also, have a different color ticket for food and another for non alcoholic drinks, ensuring everyone has to overbuy for each!
Of course she's baffled by the response, she and her fiance were obviously never taught any manners and she therefore just doesn't understand how greedy-sounding and tacky these arrangements are.
She's having trouble focusing "write now" on writing her letter because the wedding is less than three weeks away? Then don't write the letter until you can focus, because it is a mess.
Bridezilla= RetardedBridezilla...

Clearly too many shrooms and pot at the afore mentioned Burning Man (or should I say Burning-Sensation-When-She-Pees-Man)...
I could just picture this woman in the receiving line:

"Hi! Thanks for coming! So good to see you! Did you remember to put your $20 in the wedding gift box?"
I'm trying to decide from this letter if the VIP room is a place for her to cram Burning Man down the throats of the "older folks and friends that are helping us throw this event", or a place where those same older folks can get AWAY from the Burning Man activities.

Can't wait for the Party Crasher report!
The only thing that would have been better would be if she had asked the Stranger to underwrite part of the party (I mean wedding) in exchange for exclusive coverage of the grand event.
Why does everyone these days perceive a complaint about their ludicrous behavior as an "attack"? It just makes me want to jab them with an ice pick.
"I’m having a hard time focusing write now on writing this letter considering it is less then three weeks to my wedding and I just read the article."
Gosh, I really feel you. Whenever something is happening in three weeks I always forget how to spell and write in complete sentences. It's so taxing to have think about the future and present simultaneously.
I wonder what kind of dreamworld this person is living in. Does she really not realize how unconventional it is to charge people for your wedding? Has she been living under a rock? If she would at least acknowledge how unusual her approach is, maybe do a little mea culpa of some kind, I might buy her Burning Man defense. As it is, she comes off as utterly clueless.

Maybe in her little burner circle, this is totally cool and within the bounds of social normality. If so, good for them. But it seems she's overestimated the width of that circle...God help her if some cantankerous aunt doesn't get a VIP pass.
@18 Really. Some of the best weddings I have ever been to were small affairs held in free places like parks or backyards. Some of the worst cost tens of thousands of dollars.

I don't much mind the honeymoon fund thing, though I would never do it, but I would certainly not attend a wedding that had a cover charge or a VIP area. Fuck that.
How do you decide which Stranger writer gets to go? This could be the funniest article of the year.
You should totally give up the location. I'd pay $20 to see that hot mess in action...and do what I do best at parties...
burners should be sterilized so this ridiculous behavior won't continue for generations to come.

and congrats on your wedding!
so is this like a rave? did they make flyers? what djs will be playing? will there be e? is it drum and bass or trance or what? just put an ad in the stranger and youll make a ton of money for your party dont forget to buy insurance for your wedding peace
Here's an idea. Throw a wedding reception only for the VIPs (family and friends close enough to you to help out) and forget all the rest of it. Oh, but you can't make a profit off of that, can you? Shame.

I'm waiting with bated breath to find out if the food is worth the $20. I'm guessing no.
I think some of the new information makes me understand a little more where they're coming from. They wanted to throw a big rave/party/club night -- and it kind of sounds like it could be a good one. So, from that standpoint, charging for food, admission, etc., seems to make some sense.

However, you don't get to have it both ways, in my opinion. You can't throw a big party, expect people to pay for food/drink/entertainment AND expect people to give you wedding gifts as if it were a traditional wedding.

By the by, given the context of big rave/party/club night, the $20 admission for random people is not so bad. But for spouses of invited people (as someone in the comments of the original column said was happening)? Crazy tacky.
This just made my day. Please please PLEASE send Lindy and Charles. PLEASE.
i want to hear about the bride trying to hype everyone up to make it appear like everyone is having fun.

that'll show I, Anon.

and if her reason for doing this is to share the experience of burning man, where they met and fell in love then it's a good thing they didn't meet at some tragic event like a scene of an accident or something.
Oh please, PLEASE make this open to the public.
ohhhh, this is getting exciting! I'm a huge fan of bad and/or tacky weddings.
Can't wait for the next updates!
Isn't Burning Man all about bartering? You don't spend money on the playa. Why not use the barter system and have guests contribute to the event with food, alcohol, sound system etc.
I second 39's writer choice: Lindy's spastic commentary + Charles' penchant for seeing everything through an anthropological lens = best article of the year.
Julie @38 totally gets it. Either it's a traditional wedding (with gifts) or it's a festival that happens to have a bride and groom (no gifts). I had friends that had a festival for their stag & doe (cost for activities, food, and drinks), but then had a free wedding on the actual day. That was a nice combination, and left none of us feeling put upon.

Neither party had a VIP section, though. That's just too tacky.
so, i had no idea what 'burning man' was till i did a google search. it's an art festival? how the hell do you 'bring that' to a wedding, anyway?
Burner Hippies are more capitalistic than most CEO's.
Having a reporter from The Stranger can only increase ticket sales. There's no such thing as bad publicity!
Oh my God yes, what 39 and 44 said. Please, please, pleeeaaasseeee send Lindy and Charles.
I second the notion of sending Baconcat and Kelly O to report back on this mess, which I can only hope includes a VIP Room for the old folks where they are baked under heat lamps and sprayed with sand until they drown in their own gritty sweat. For the experience.

Oh, and "with whom I’m pretty sure I know their disgust having not received an invite" is not English. I don't know what it is, exactly; poshlost?
We should have a poll on who to send.

That said, I've enjoyed most of the Burner weddings I've been too, especially the fire twirler ones.
I vote for Kelly O and Baconcat too!
I vote for sending WM Steven Humphrey and Lindy - Charles should lurk outside the door with the Unpaid Intern, invasively photographing all guests.
The only way this could get any better is if the bride and groom are getting married in full Juggalo regalia. Fuckin' weddings, how do they work?
this wedding will never live up to the hype.
I do partially feel bad for the woman - I think some weed to calm her and a sit-down with someone significant to her explaining why you don't charge for wedding access (much less food) would help a lot. But unfortunately, this is already playing out differently. Terrible wedding idea > Idea is pointed out to be terrible > Bride gets defensive > Drama escalates. I'm often an overly defensive person myself, so I can empathize.

On the up side, I am looking forward to the Party Crasher report.

It would have been much better for her to concede that it's a terrible idea (honey - everyone here isn't just suddenly against you for no reason) and scrap all the fees. And if she can't afford the huge party without the money from the guests - then she shouldn't be throwing a huge party.

Bride - if you decide not to stick to your guns, keep in mind that although it is probably getting a bit late to change the whole wedding around (since you seem to have so much organized) you could scrap the guest/food fees and not even need to tell your guests beforehand. It'd be a nice surprise when they arrive.
I'm going to have to agree with genevieve - we should send Baconcat and Kelly O.
A rave Burner wedding event? Who wants to see grandma on E?
If not open to the public, then I would like to request live slogging the event.
Yeah, I'm gonna PAY you to celebrate you. Right.
So, um, a propos of nothing in particular........... is the Stranger ever going to do the Worst. Night. Ever. thing that the Mercury has been doing over the past few months?

Just saying. Might be fun to send the person on staff who would hate this the most.....
I think the problem here is that she's OK with people bringing random friends. That led to her feeling she would be compromising her budget, so she had to put a big "must pay" flag on it.

Could have avoided all this by simply not suggesting that people bring friends. Unless her guests have no sense of party (much less wedding) etiquette at all, I doubt anyone would resent her for not accommodating their co-workers from the office.

I mean, how many people did she expect to take up the offer? I can't imagine enough would do it that it'd matter to her budget.

I really wouldn't care to go to someone's party if I wasn't invited (easier for both sides), and especially a wedding event if I don't really know the bride and groom personally.
Maybe this showed up anonymously because nobody can give you honest feedback without you flying into a wounded frenzy.

So, you want a huge party AND a honeymoon AND a playa trip AND free photography AND free publicity AND you want someone else to pay for everything? No wonder your extended circle thinks you're greedy.

Also, if your skin is this thin, you've clearly never thrown a big Burning Man-style festival before. Either you're well-intentioned but an extremely poor communicator, or you're really just in this for your own pleasure. If the former, this is your wakeup call that your good intentions are being wildly misperceived. Ask for some honest feedback from close friends, accept it gracefully, and clarify your intentions. Perhaps ask someone who has organized more parties than you have to assist in balancing between giving to your community and asking them to give in return. Finally, if you need to ask your guests to help fund the party to such a large extent (both cash and free skilled labor) then take further cash gifts off the table. You're asking for too much, and that rubs people the wrong way.

Or, if you honestly believe you're owed all of these things, come to peace with the fact that many people you know will feel some contempt for you, whether you allow them to express it or not.
Were there no adults present when these grand profitable schemes were hatched? No parents, aunts, uncles, guardians -- no one AT ALL older, in other words -- to bounce this off of?

Burner Bride, I am sorry you are having to learn this lesson in such a public, painful way -- but if you can TAKE the lesson that life (& the internet) is offering you right now, you will do yourself and your marriage a world of good. If you're reading these comments, posts # 56 & 64 do an especially good job of laying this all out for you, IMO. Please read them carefully.

Hey Bridezilla, DON'T FORGET TO HAVE A $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ MONEY DANCE or two!

If you charged $50. a pop and made everyone dance 3 times with you or groomy, their choice, that could add up to $5000. or $10000. easily.

Heck, you could probably put a downpayment on a double wide!
YES! @4 said it all.
@56 best comment ever - i'm totally impressed with your genuine compassion for this woman. hope she listens to your advice (though i kinda doubt it).
Send Baconcat!
The only way this could get funnier would be if this turns out to be a different wedding.
@62 - Several years ago Cienna Madrid did a series called My Own Worst Enemy, or something like that - where she got sent to things that a person "wouldn't wish on their worst enemy". Is that similar to what the Mercury is doing?
@71 Kind of. Every couple of weeks, a Mercury staffer would get put forth for WNE -- the other staffers would pick five events that sounded like the staffer would hate them. The staffer got to veto one of them (though, as the series went on, some of them gave up their veto), and a poll on the blog determined which event the staffer was sent to. It was pretty fun -- though some of them ended up being not as terrible as they sounded.
argle bargle flargle!

Less than three weeks?!

That's two weeks before the actual burn. That's when everybody's ramping up to go. Finishing art projects, etc. Or, when a lot of people have left already to get their build on. I would think.

Any more recent burners care to comment on this choice of date?

Most burners have August and the first couple of weeks of September blacked out for huge shindigs, at least in Michigan it was that way.


That being said, if this is truly a Gift As Entry Fee (with suggested gift being $20/head) type event [as claimed in the comments in the I, Anon post), I'm willing to say that they aren't being truly ridiculous. But, if they expect a gift on top of that, then I say they're FUCKING NUTS.
I'll give you $20 to take Baconcat.
Burner weddings?
TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM: you guys have given plenty of free entertainment at your expense right here on this post and in I, Anonymous. For this, you get a pass.

We WILL be watching and said pass will be revoked if this is your birth announcement. Love & Light for the rest of your days.
I bet she rescinds the invite. I doubt she intended the letter to be published (at least I hope not) and now she's getting "attacked" in the comments. I can see her now in front of the computer in her burning man-inspired wedding dress(zippers!) & platform boots, mascara running down her face, crying hysterically.
Talk about tasteless; the last Burner wedding I went to was free. It even had tasty food and music! Go figure.

I am eagerly awaiting the next article on this.
Setting aside that she wouldn't know a homophone even if it was a Motorola Razr carried by gay man the wedding plans are just the height of tackiness.
At least it promises to be memorable.
please can we schedule the Hump Film Festival at her wedding? or at least shoot a dozen or two movies there????
Only $20? I'd pay $200 to attend this sideshow.
Baconcat HAS to go! For you born and bred Northwesterners, you may not fully appreciate how the Southern mentality would be of benefit at any event where accurate reporting of gossip and well-placed verbal zingers are required, but I can assure you, no one will do this as well as someone from the South. (I say this as someone with one half of her relatives from the South.)
PS You can say anything bitchy, as long as you add "Bless her heart!": "Oh, Sally is such a slut, bless her heart!"
Canuck, I totally had a friend who used to do the mean comment + "God love her/him." It was always awesome. "Jack's uptight because he's got a small penis, God love 'im. Plus, Mary's been cheating on him for years, God love 'er."
Wait a minute - is this Bristol Palin's wedding?
It's an art, Nurse, I agree!

"The bride shouldn't have worn white, since it showed all the grass stains on her backside, bless her heart!"
I'd like to point out that the $20 door price is only required from people who aren't on the guest list.
I'd also like to point out that this makes no difference at all. There are wristbands and a VIP section, people. The invitation has money and cash written on it several times. You don't even mention your registry on an invitation. This is bananas.
Of course- this person wrote this because they didn't get an invitation! "Their just jellis!" LOL
The VIP room was NOT for older family members and for vendors/people who helped with the wedding. At least, not in the beginning. I wonder how much is going to change between now and the wedding. It would be nice if they would own up to fucking up and make the changes, instead of just lying and covering their tracks.
This poor creature. No one ever loved her enough to teach her manners, or even how to read and write.
You know, if they/she was so secure in the validity of their wedding plan, I don't see why she felt the need to expose herself. This shitstorm only happened because of that. Sure, I, Anonymous is public, but guess what, it's fucking ANONYMOUS. They could've gone about their bewilderingly stupid, tacky business despite/in spite of it.

The original I, Anonymous was fascinating and said things that needed to be said about some truly freakish human behavior and clearly merited response by equally bewildered readers. But, when all is said and done, it's still just another I, Anonymous column and it all would've blown over - actually, even that's too dramatic - it all would've simply been a matter of speculation and chit chat until the next thing came along. But her response opened the floodgates and that's when things really got going. And it just keep snowballing from there. I guess if you're stupid enough to plan a fucked up wedding, you're stupid enough to create and step in a public metaphorical bear trap.
There's only one thing I want to know: Did she use Papyrus font in her letter to the editor as well?
That is def two weeks before the burn... I agree reaaaallly weird timing... What, no consideration for those people who are trying to pack/prepare? It would be much more appropriate as a late September disengage event. But maybe she was one of those people who show up with nothing but Jerkey and water and then mooch for the rest of the week... Never belonging to a proper camp and leaving feathers on the ground.
People still seem to be completely misunderstanding the $20 issue. The $20 issue is ONLY for people NOT INVITED! Meaning, if you have been invited, you and your significant other, date, friend, etc are in. End of story. Yes they have food and drink available for purchase and yes they have a VIP area for specific family and friends who are actively working the event helping them get it setup, filmed, broken down afterwards, etc, etc, etc as a way to thank the people actively working on building and managing the event.

If you weren't invited, it's $20. If you don't have the foresight to contact them and tell them you're bringing someone, it's $20 for them and even then it's a "humble request" not a forced payment with some giant no-neck at the door collecting before entrance!

Sheesh people, quit with the rampant assumptions and ignorant rants and just wait for the party crasher article to come out. Trust me, this event is going to be epic and it's a shame it has gotten so much negative attention from so many people who don't even know the couple. Haters will be haters but hopefully you can all direct your attention to something actually worthy of your vitriol.
So, wait @95: absolutely anyone with $20 can go to this? Really?

Sounds like this requires a genuine party crash. I mean, who doesn't want to spend her wedding day asking herself 1) who are these people? 2) where did they all come from? and 3) how are we going to feed or provide bathroom facilities for all of them? It's not like getting married means anything but "party-party like a red cup fraternity bash for a day while abusing your friends and family's patience," right? I mean, if you really want memorable, wouldn't having Woodstock 2010 breaking out at your wedding fit the bill?

Of course, should she go that route, the bride will be pissed that people don't notice her hair/dress/ugly dresses she forced her friends to wear in favor of the spontaneous Lollapalooza. I hope this event makes national news and gets helicopter coverage because of everyone who wanted to go to a carny.
First: Did you read comment #88 before you posted? Because it addresses the $20 issue.
Second: Did the bride and groom recently change the purpose of the VIP area? Because what you're saying now doesn't match the original intention. I personally know two people who got such passes entitling them to a wristband (!!) who are neither family nor "staff." The VIP pass says "you are very important to us! turn this is for a wristband so you can get into an area with food and tables etc etc." Get a clue-tip: the VIP area is indefensible. Period.
Third: And do you REALLY want people to direct their attention elsewhere? Then you might want to build a time machine and tell the bride not to write a letter to The Stranger inviting them to the wedding. I mean for fucks sake, this is insane.
1. As the scope of their mistakes sink in, the b/g will continue posting comments that deny or retract their original plans, without actually admitting to fucking up.
2. The Party Crasher article will be positive. Or at least, passive-aggressive in such a way that goes right over the b/g's head (they're clearly not very sharp) but entertains the rest of us.
3. The b/g will go on to live a life of handling bad PR in the worst possible way, as evidenced here.
Baconcat/Kelly 2010: The snide comments America deserves.
J242 is a friend of the b/g. He/she just started posting yesterday, and only about the IA.

They sure sound like a hard-partying crowd.

I think the bride should publicly post the day/time/place so everyone who wants to go can go to this "not unlike Jim Rose's sideshow." But I won't be there. Seen one fire juggler, seen 'em all.
Most burners are just Republicans waiting to happen, and these people prove it.