55 Fun Things to do Instead of Sex


no please.
The whipped cream fight actually sounds like fun but in my experience almost always leads to sex. Have these people even been to an airport in the last 9 years? You can't just hang out at the gate and watch people. A) you need a ticket to get in B) if you sit around for a couple hours in the lobby watching people security will probably get all over you. Also, who the fuck just has blocks of ice sitting around to go sledding on?
I know whenever I need a good fuck, it's always better playing on the monkey bars.
@2 Thats why they say to do it outside. People never have sex outside.
Pfft. "Get drunk" isn't on the list.
One thing NOT on my Christmas list- Dead Person Teddy Bear.
I totally used to go people-watching at the airport in high school, but, yeah, that was when you could actually go the gates without a ticket.
I just realized that one of the main friends I went with totally ended up knocked up - though not by one of her airport people-watching friends, so maybe that proves something? Or, not?
@5, it's creepy how most/all ads on TV for beer advertise it as an alternative to a girlfriend or relationship. The lunkhead guys are always choosing a chilly bottle of pisswater domestic beer like Coors or Bud.over wasting time with women (who are always paradoxically, ridiculously hot). Beer ads are completely antisexual...
@8 I always just assumed the guys were gay.
I wonder if bowling is on the list? I used to bowl a lot during my teen years. Strike!

Alas, I didn't have any sex. Sigh.
@9, if they were gay ads, the guys would be choosing a sixpack over incredibly hot male actors. There's no actual sex being advertised; they're almost like ads for saltpeter or castration...
I think the list is cute, outdated in many ways but still cute. And, sometimes tech obsessed teens need suggestions in ways to have fun.

I'll confess that sliding down a hill, on a block of ice, piece of cardboard, or the back of a dog sled, can lead to a public display of affection. Anything that gets you hot, sweaty, and dirty has that potential. We probably look our sexiest when we are feeling so alive.
"Wash each other’s car"??!?! Instead of fucking? I realize this whole list put together can't hold a candle to blowing your load with a fine piece, but that one was especially ridiculous.

Also, @ 5: getting drunk is the gateway to fucking, don'tcha know?
@11 That would just be silly. Who would choose beer over sex?
Holy shit! Throw a 70's party?!? These people have never listened to any Steely Dan, obviously. Hey kids, put in your IUD, toss your keys in the bowl, and go do a rail of Columbian off your neighbor's tits--now that's a 70's party.
@15, If the 70s party gets into full swing all the guys will be too coked up to get a boner -- problem solved.
@14, nobody, of course, that's why the ads are so disturbing, especially in huge quantities, like during the Superbowl
I agree that the "wash each others cars" is a bit silly. As wet clothes need to be removed. Bottom line is that randy individuals will find just about every activity arousing.

I didn't read the list, but did the drive-in in Newberg make the list of activities?
@17, there's a similar pattern going on with burger ads for guys and literally all food ads aimed at women. So in that spirit I propose to add a couple things to the list, reflecting what people actually tend to do when they can't fuck:

56. Binge eat
57. Get diagnosed with mild depression and take a bunch of SSRIs, causing weight gain and loss of sex drive
58. Binge eat more
"While sex heads a great number of lists, we all have other things we like to do in between. With me, Corwin, it's drumming, being up in the air, and gambling--in no special order."
Sign of the Unicorn, by Roger Zelazny

In light of this revelation, how about we retitle this list "55 Fun Things to Do When You're Too Tired or Sore to Have Any More Sex".
yeah, i'll take the sex please.

and wait...don't 70's parties always end in sex? and start with cocaine?
On the "12 Weird Things To Do With Your Cremated Remains" list, I kind of like "You can be the sand in an hourglass"...

as for "things to do instead of sex" -- why would anyone do anything INSTEAD of sex?
Just wanted to put in a good word for ice blocking (not that it is better than sex). Buy the block at the grocery store, put a towel on top, and find a really steep grass hill. Nighttime is the best time to go as long as you know exactly what's at the bottom of the hill.
The only thing they should add to the instead of sex list is, "Go to your local pharmacy and buy condoms" or "Go to planned parenthood and get some birth control."

That's the thing that teens wondering if they're pregnant need to do instead of having sex. Oh, and take a pregnancy test, I guess. Yeah, my list would have one thing, "Go to Planned Parenthood, find out if you're pregnant, get birth control."
Olive, all the parties I went to in the '70s certainly did.
I'm drinking a beer right now--and I just had sex. (It's a non-alcoholic beer, and the sex was with my self, but still...)
Sleeping and eating are the only things that are sometimes more attractive options than sex for me. Oh, and of course "47. Volunteer at a crisis nursery."
Whipped cream always leads to sex.


well, at least, it should ....
That’s my home town! Funny thing is it is over an hour drive to the airport. No telling what trouble you could get into on the way.
While all of these things may be fun to do instead of sex, based on that partial list at least, I don't see a single one that's MORE fun to do than sex.
The only thing on my list of things to do instead of sex is masturbate. And that is only for when sex is not a feasible option at the moment. Or during sex. Or after sex. You know, whenevah.
admittedly most of these things ARE probably more fun than inexperienced, awkward teenage sex, DEFINITELY a better option than having unsafe sex because you're too immature and/or misinformed to be smart about it, and since im not into anal, ABSOLUTELY better than saddle backing. but ya, teens are gonna do it anyway. better to stress the importance of condoms, birth control, open communication and getting tested for STDs together.
I can't help but notice that each of the quoted activities could be made better by adding sex.
oral, anal & handjobs ain't sex. aren't we listening?
I love ice blocking. It's fun. I don't do it anymore because I discovered sex. That and I don't have health insurance, so I need to be careful. However, as a non-sex activity you can't beat ice-blocking. Except maybe getting drunk.