No Love For Those Chimpanzees


At least "protecting chimpanzees" does not include a list of 55 things to do instead of sex.

Have you ever visited the CHCI institute in Ellensburg?

They have the remaining chimps from the Washoe sign language experiments during the 1970s (the file films are amusing as they remind me of the simulated recordings of the Dharma Initiative from "Lost").

One thing they note in their lectures is that most of our experience with chimps on TV is with those that are 10 years old or less...but chimps, as the chimps there, live beyond 30 years. The adults are very, very much different and more ape like than the clownish younger chimps.

Anyway, it's worth a day trip:

Could a chimp/human hybrid be created? Would it be self-aware? What kind of rights should it have?
More speciesism from Charles.
you may hate them, but do they deserve to be tortured in medical experiments and live in basement cages? no, they do not.
But invasive experiments produce so much useful data! More anti-science bullshit.
Charles you continue to surpass yourself in inanity. Gorillas and bonobos, yes. Chimps, no. At the risk of invoking Godwin, shall we substitute Jews and Gays, yes, Christians, no?

Chimps, bonobos and gorillas are all documented to be amongst the most intelligent creatures on the planet.

This bill would prevent them from being cut open and injected for research that often has limited applicability to humans. It is in line with recent actions by European Union countries to extend protections to other higher primates ensuring rights of life, liberty, and protection from torture. It seems the least we can do to protect the remnant populations of our nearest relatives.
You know Charles, I'm starting to doubt my previous opinion of you as a thoughtful person.
Jane Goodall speaks again.
To OuterCrow: Chimps have actually proved to be ineffective research models failing in HIV, AIDS, cancer, and heart disease prototypes. All of which we thought we had found a cure/treatment with the Chimps and did not work on humans. National Institute of Health has been moving away from conducting research on them for this very reason. This bill only prevent invasive research; they are still available for other research at the chimp havens.

In addition, you – American Citizens – are paying over $170 million dollars to keep them in laboratories unused. It is estimated to cost $36 - $60/day to keep them in a laboratory and only $25/ day in a sanctuary. Last note Chimps live to be around 60 in captivity (35-40 in the wild); that is a long time to spend in a cage.
Ok. While I sometimes enjoy reading these posts, and while I think I finally "get" Charles' sense of humor, can we put a moratorium on these philosophical ramblings until about 10:30 a.m from now on? I realize that you're probably on a different schedule than the rest of the staff, as you always seem to be the first two or three posts in the a.m. before they rub the sleep from their eyes, but its a bit much to take in first thing in the a.m.

This way - quick rule of thumb: If you can still get an egg mcmuffin at McDonald's (really why would you, but I digress), you probably shouldn't be pondering existence at a broader audience.
@8, as much as i hate chimps, i feel they should not be in zoos. when ever I see a great ape in a cage, i can't help but feel outrage. humans of the 21st century do not have the luxury of ignorance when it comes to these animals and their level of intelligence.
@3: Decades ago I learned in one my college biology courses that chimps and humans are similar enough to be able to produce a hybrid. It's been a long time, but I think the conclusion was that the hybrid would even be able to produce offspring as opposed to hybrids such as mules, which are sterile.
@2 you forget to mention the fact that the chimp family that lives in Ellensburg is completely dysfunctional. Loulis has a hat fetish and will literally jerk off all over the enclosure window if someone has anything on their head. He would also spit impressive amounts of water (after eating a raw onion) at volunteers who are in the primatology program at CWU if they wouldn't look at him or give him attention.

While it's incredibly fascinating and an awesome accomplishment of Washoe's to teach her son a human language without any help from humans, they're still a bunch of jerks.
@14 I wonder what would happen to you or any of us if we were locked up in a cage our whole lives. Especially with only family and no sexual outlet. perhaps you should think about their situation before you judge them. Captivity has its toll.
Am I just hallucinating or within scarcely 12 months has Maria Cantwell transformed herself from a weak-kneed centrist into the most awesome senator in the United States Senate?

I'm remembering her holding out for a better financial reform bill and then finally going along.

I'm remembering her co-sponsoring the cap-and-dividend alternative to cap-and-trade. Cap-and-dividend is the next-best thing to a revenue-neutral carbon tax and would be so much simpler, so much more transparent, so much more honest, and so much more effective than cap-and-trade.

Now this forward-thinking legislation to protect our own species' closest relatives.

Did Maria Cantwell suddenly start taking awesome injections? Or is this the new Kevin Klein in "Dave" substitute-Maria Cantwell? And is the new Maria Cantwell married? I think I'm in love.
1) Is Chuck The Zim Smuck saying that he doesn't like Chimps or is he saying that he does not like that Zim Delicacy " Bush Meat " ?

2) So you like Bonobos, the Sexy Ape ? Is that because they Swing Both Ways Chuck ?

3) Chuck The Zim Smuck doesn't like Chimps because one of Zim's other names is CHIMPBOOBWAY . It has this name for a reason . Just ask Chuck why Zim is called that .

4) Chuck The Zim Smuk doesn't like Chimps because he thinks they are Tokoloshe(s) .
" could a Chimp/Human Hybrid be created . Would t be self aware . What kind of rights should it have ? "

Your question have already been answered .

1) There are already Chimp/Human Hybrids, although they are not Human .

2) They are aware that they do exist & actually believe that they can pass themselves off as human, but inside they know they are not & even more are nowhre near as intelligent . That is why they have such a violent, destructive temperment . This defined by the terms Chimp-Out & TNB .

3) Certain Rights that they have are Special & only apply to them . A few examples are: Apefirmative-Action, Welfare, WIC, MediCaid, Free & Reduced Lunch, EBT/Food Stamps, Historically Primate Colleges, Set Aside Programs, Deluded Exams, Lowering of most standards of Humans to that of the Chimp-Bryds, Community Centers & Pools, Public Transit, Section-8 & Chimp-Bryd Based Free Housing, Geremandering, Free Rides in most things when involved with Humans, Open Immigration etc,etc, etc, .

I believe one of these Chimp-Bryds is on this thread . IT is of either the Ndebele ( Matabele ) or Mashona ( Shona ) variety . IT was named after Queen Elizabeth II oldest Son, who is The Price Of Wales . IT was brought to the USA from the African Bush as a pet for a Seattle Liberal .
@ Charles Muh-dik - I hate Marxist chimps who ruin their own country and then come here. Teach your child to wash herself instead of putting stink-oil in her wool hair. Go back to Africa and do some work on your filthy country, you smelly smashnose.
You are just jealous of their superior intelligence, impulse control, and athletic ability -- plus they really know how to score with the garden implements.
Charles"Not Smart Enough To Be In Charge"
no wonder he feels inferior to the chimps
@14 Considering the fact that chimpanzees in captivity are essentially imprisoned against their will and institutionalized for their entire lives I'd argue that they are, still, remarkably well adjusted in well run sanctuaries. Perhaps those chimpanzees you mention will never have the opportunity to have a sexual relationship in the way that chimpanzees in the wild do. How do you suppose you would spend your time and energy if you were in that situation? Perhaps being in captivity means you don't have control over your life, your choices, or your environment. Would you deny them the only way to establish some sort of control simply because you don't like their behavior? I'd call that rude and a little bit selfish. But that's just me, expressing my opinion thanks to the freedom and liberty I've been granted by the Unites States government. Imagine if I didn't have that. . .
Charles, you clearly have no understanding of ape behavior, otherwise you wouldn't be so quick to judge chimpanzees as "shameful." Chimpanzees can be violent towards humans, yes, but it is because they simply do not belong in our world. This does not have anything to do with chimps being "less" than humans - they are a species off a different branch of the same tree humans are on. We don't belong in a chimp world, either. But, because we think they are adorable, cute, funny, and foolishly believe them to be good medical models for testing human diseases... we incarcerate them into captivity. Imagine what this might do to you - imprisoned for a crime you did not commit. Murderers and pedophiles are offered parole.. but chimps? No way. Because they are stronger than us, and by no fault of their own - that's just how chimpanzees are. They belong in the wild in African forests, not on American TV or biomedical labs. Charles, you are ignorant and speciesist.

@14 - as others have said, and I pointed out as well, these beings are forced against their will to live in a cage. Sometimes those cages can be really nice (i.e., a good sanctuary) but regardless it is still a cage and they can never leave. So yes, they may exhibit behaviors that we find strange or odd but wouldn't you, too? Or better yet... I'm wondering, ceefurn, if you have ever "jerked off" (my bet is yes) and if so, then do you consider your family dysfunctional? Hmmm. And a chimp spitting water? That now qualifies an entire group as dysfunctional? Imagine if you had no control over anything, ever, except your ability to get a reaction out of the people on the other side of the bars. You'd probably spit at them too. I have never actually been to a prison before, but my bet is that those criminals have tried many antics to get a reaction from the guards. I think you are also speciesist, ceefurn.
i'm strictly against this favoritism for chimpanzees! They have no bigger value than other species and have nothing to do with humans! go to look on youtube how they want to teach one of them to clean his teeth! well - what he does is nothing else than tool use! he makes exactly the same movements with his toothbrush as the others do in the jungle when they are fishing termites! this constant misinterpretation of chimp behaviour taken as human is ridiculous and really speciesistic against other animal species! it has become modern to travel to africa and pamper chimps while people are starving! also keeping him in your arms - a great ape remains always a great ape and i would like to keep a real human baby in my arms - or a dog or a cat, but not one of these obnoxious big eared and big mouthed freaks!