Well, there's next week's cover!

The flies won't eat it, or much of it anyways. They're looking for future food (and warmth from decay) to feed their little maggot brood.

Yeah, like somebody's eyeball, for instance. . . .

Not possible: If you had the choice, you would put down the milkshake, and hold the hamburger, because no one would eat that after it touched the top of a newspaper bin. I think the hamburger eater saw a girl or boy he had a crush on approaching from the other end of the block (that's obviously a guy's hamburger), and wanting to appear sauve and un-greasy, quickly put down the burger and picked up the Stranger, which he proceeded to hold up in front of himself as he walked, and *accidentally* bumped into the boy or girl, thereby starting a conversation that led to dinner, too much wine, and a quick condom purchase at the corner CVS.... Duh.

That cover is great!

No, no. You've got it all wrong.

This is someone playing it forward.

They grabbed their copy of the Stranger, and decided that, hey, they really weren't all that hungry. They guessed that the illegal aliens (socialist Canadians on the lam, probably) that the Stranger hires to stock these boxes are probably paid $15 a month under the table, and decided to donate half a burger to the cause. Or, failing that, someone could bring it back to the Stranger office for the poor starving Unpaid Intern.

Thanks!

U gonna eat dat, or can I haz?

There was probably a garbage can within 20 feet of where they left their burger.

We are beset on all sides by barbarian hordes.

Why is it so many people refuse to be human?

For the love of God, Reverse Polarity, EVERONE knows that Canadian socialists on the lam eat street meat donairs one handed, the better to flag down cabs when making quick getaways from immigration officials, not big, messy hamburgers, which just reek of US imperialism. (Burp.)

it was nipper. too many value village records in his hands.