Mission Accomplished! The Stranger Declares Victory in Its War on New York City

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You gotta admit, "hybrid of Marie Antoinette and a class-destructing communist" sorta nailed it.

Dougsf on August 13, 2010 at 5:11 PM

Congratulations!

care bear on August 13, 2010 at 5:14 PM

This was a wonderful, silly, heedless, pointless effort, and I loved it.

gloomy gus on August 13, 2010 at 5:15 PM

So, uh, what is this Gawker and why does it matter?

douchus on August 13, 2010 at 5:17 PM

Gawker was more fun with the hourly mentions of Julia Allison. Made for great drinking games. No more. Nick Denton!!!!!

JesseJB on August 13, 2010 at 5:24 PM

Sweet, your resident Gucci Clad Marxist got you involved in a made up war, against an entity that looks at you like a bedbug on a mammoth, then you declare victory and move on and the takeaway is that the any criticism of Charles is deflected by pettiness and lilliputian chest thumping.

Though you all did(maybe) get a few extra page views out of it, right? So it's all good.

pissy mcslogbot on August 13, 2010 at 5:26 PM

Today was an epic day on the Slog.

I'm going end it on this image of the remodel I want to do on my home at the corner of Ground Zero Blvd and Go Fuck Yourself Ave.

Suck it New york City!

SurlyYurmom on August 13, 2010 at 5:27 PM

ah, shallow pride and competitiveness....there is very little I detest more...well done idiots, thanks again for signing our names to "fuck you" letter we didn't endorse.

Andy_Squirrel on August 13, 2010 at 5:28 PM

@8 "Ah" and "detest" = earmarks of the insufferable.

Lo on August 13, 2010 at 5:30 PM

New York never knew what hit them!!!

(and they still don't)

Urgutha Forka on August 13, 2010 at 5:32 PM

Huzzah!

Luckier on August 13, 2010 at 5:39 PM

@9 poor form, cite your sources

Andy_Squirrel on August 13, 2010 at 5:47 PM

oh, i get it. i kept checking slog randomly through the afternoon and had no idea what you were on about. but then i linked here nad now it makes sense. i'm kinda amazed that slog would come to mudede's defense since the gawker article was totally right in every way imaginable.

well, i hate to break it to you all, but the bottom line is that if you don't like new york you're either racist, stupid, or you just don't like life. but on the flipside, if you don't like seattle you're an asshole. FACT.

douglas on August 13, 2010 at 5:53 PM

Nice to see a little Seattle love after all the hometown bashing you all regularly engage in.

c on August 13, 2010 at 5:53 PM

you should stage a photoshoot kiss-in ala: http://sylviagarza.files.wordpress.com/2…

down at westlake mall, but you should have it be with Sasquatch and Dan Savage, or Lindy West and J.P.
Patches, maybe Sir Mix-A-Lot and Dale Chihuly?

that would show those Times Square having jerks!!!

pissy mcslogbot on August 13, 2010 at 5:57 PM

WOOT!
About time New york stopped being worshipped.
Now we need to set about shipping the transplants back, I suggest cattle cars.

Cascadian Bacon on August 13, 2010 at 6:00 PM

Hah, over on this (the east) coast happy hour isn't done anywhere near 8. It's just getting started.

But after living 7 1/2 years in Seattle, I realize that's unfathomable -- surely everywhere in the world must close by 7! Why would anyone want to do anything in the evening / late night D:

Cow on August 13, 2010 at 6:03 PM

Aha ha ah ha ha ha.. This was a most amusing Sloggery today.......

Of Course Seattle's gonna come out on top because, duh, WE GOT THE BEST WEED! Game! Over!! w00t!!

But the best consequence for me is that now I have Nina Hagen's song "New York" playing in my head... a song I recently re-discovered.. Can't wait to get home and dial it up on the Yew Toobz.

Thanks Gawker! And, thanks too for "hybrid of Marie Antoinette and a class-destructing communist". Classic!!

merry on August 13, 2010 at 6:07 PM

9/11 = proof that New Yorkers ain't so tough...

douchus on August 13, 2010 at 6:13 PM

NYC has us beat with a 4 a.m bar time. 24 hr subways. very fucking hot, sexy guys with the attitudes that make them hotter than WeHo queens in LA, and the luxury of having 3 airports to fly into with hella cheap destinations to the Caribbean during the winter.

apres_moi on August 13, 2010 at 6:18 PM

Confirmed: NY dominates Seattle in all things sports.

benjammin509 on August 13, 2010 at 6:20 PM

Was anyone who writes for The Stranger paying attention in kindergarten? Because you all seem to have forgotten what to do when a bully calls you names. You don't throw a 24 hour low-self-esteem tantrum. You ignore them.

Everyone who lives in Seattle knows it's better than New York. We don't need to prove it. In fact, we don't like talking about it since we don't want more of them moving here.

yolfer on August 13, 2010 at 6:22 PM

That was the most stupidest thing I think I've seen in a long time...and I totally laughed my ass off every time I read it.

Nice, and good show!

Derek on August 13, 2010 at 6:32 PM

Remind me never to get into a "yo-mama" off with The Stranger staff.

OuterCow on August 13, 2010 at 6:36 PM

Jesus fucking christ, thank fuck this shit is fucking over. I was about to lose it. Wasted, wasted, pointless, stupid day on Slog. Please never do this again. What an exercise in 'got nothing better to do' this was.

shivvvers on August 13, 2010 at 6:45 PM

i second the woot woot piece of cake win of the nyc, but i'm having serious fears about taking on the duchy of grand fenwick.. them bitches fight dirty..

reverend dr dj riz on August 13, 2010 at 6:49 PM

Nicely played, guys. Enjoyed every bit of it. Thanks!

maxbell on August 13, 2010 at 6:49 PM

Next up, Seattle vs. London. We're dead meat. Seattle vs. Hull, maybe.

Fnarf on August 13, 2010 at 7:01 PM

Just don't mess with Philly and were good my adopted city.

SeMe on August 13, 2010 at 7:06 PM

As a true born Seattleite who has been living in Manhattan for the past 8 years, all I can say is you're spot on with all your burns, but really who cares? Seattle's a cool city. So is Portland, Austin, Asheville, Vancouver, Nashville, Madison, Omaha, etc. No need to make a big deal about it. NYC knows it's fucked.

on August 13, 2010 at 7:09 PM

You guys remind me of freshmen entering high school and trying to one-up each other on which middle school is the best. Or people stuck in high school who go to high school reunions and try to justify their lives to people they don't really care about. In short: This is ridiculous and annoying and I'm taking the Slog off my update feed because it's been such a stupid, annoying day.

And you can accuse me of not having a sense of humor if you like -- maybe I don't. I thought the first post or so was funny, but then you kept going and going and it just became pathetic.

Lana on August 13, 2010 at 7:19 PM

@26:

Sorry, we're already drawing up the armistice treaty right now. Some of us still remember the shellacking they gave us back in the '60's, and I don't want to go through that humiliation a second time.

(P.S. I hear that Tully Bascombe is one MEAN old M-F...)

COMTE on August 13, 2010 at 7:31 PM

Oh, and @31, thanks.

That's what a fire is good for; clearing out the deadwood...

COMTE on August 13, 2010 at 7:32 PM

Profiles in Wankery: SLOG, August 13, 2010...

*mostly notable because it far exceeded its' already elevated levels of pointless self-important flagellation.

pissy mcslogbot on August 13, 2010 at 7:35 PM

You know, at least in New Jersey, gays can marry.

But not in Seattle.

Will in Seattle on August 13, 2010 at 8:17 PM

@32..as some still say in nyc '..we will never forget'..

reverend dr dj riz on August 13, 2010 at 8:21 PM

A commenter on the Gawker's article pretty much nails it:

"Every once in awhile, I totally miss living in Seattle, that freaky capital of mis-placed self-righteousness, where Stranger Columnists Disturb the Populace. Happens routinely, and the outrage can last for days."

on August 13, 2010 at 8:36 PM

A completely pointless and silly endeavor.

More please. :D

Reverse Polarity on August 13, 2010 at 8:38 PM

@37: Yeah, I really wish I was in NYC paying two thousand dollars to live in a dog kennel so I can brag to the folks back home how I live in the city that never sleeps.

on August 13, 2010 at 8:43 PM

@17: Happy hour == the hour after work where people leave the office in groups and go unwind at a bar for a bit. Whatever is "just getting started" at 8pm in NYC or here or Chicago or wherever, it's not happy hour, it's people going out for the evening. Different things. Sort of like how the fact that lunch is usually not served after 2 o'clock in most restaurants does not mean that those restaurants are no longer patronized after 2 o'clock. It's just no longer lunch.

Lee on August 13, 2010 at 9:59 PM

You know .. you guys are juvenile ass holes. It's like you peed on your roommates tooth brush ... and told everyone or your buddies but would never have the stones to stand up to your prank.

former tri-state on August 13, 2010 at 10:04 PM

@41: Uhhh, how is it like that? You realize this is all public, right?

Lee on August 13, 2010 at 10:19 PM

I was greatly encouraged, cheered up by this Unmasking of NYC. I am a what is called a Theistic Satanist (see spiritualsatanist.com to see what I mean).Last night, before The Stranger published this, I got into a Fisticuff on Facebook last night with a New Yorker who thought they could spit on me and that I'd do NOTHING.-Seattle style. So I Flamed her and her Pathetic, Conceited city.
I knew my FB wall would flame up with the White-Lighters, (what few were still left around) ,Expressing OUTRAGE and I was feeling some ambivalence about losing them as FB friends, but...
The Stranger! You've Strengthened My Back! I'm working through your Anti-NYC links, and I'm finding some of them well-thought out...
Some of them are going on my Wall.
Thanks for making me a Better Satanist!

Edgar Ozols on August 13, 2010 at 10:24 PM

@Lee ... unless they've spent time in Seattle, what New Yorker would read the slog?

former tri-state on August 13, 2010 at 10:26 PM

@43, thank you, this is the Best Slog Comment Ever.

"Fisticuff on Facebook" is my new favorite phrase ever.

Elenchos, are you seeing this?

Fnarf on August 13, 2010 at 10:29 PM

Hell's lamest place is reserved for those who bitch about a how a city they don't live in sucks.

on August 13, 2010 at 10:54 PM

Kept me laughing all day, and made me believe, if only for a few fleeting seconds, that Seattle might actually be sorta kinda in the same league as...well, not as New York. But Brooklyn, maybe.

schmacky on August 13, 2010 at 11:35 PM

Next up: Shelbyville.

wisepunk on August 13, 2010 at 11:54 PM

I wanna watch Seattle vs. San Fran.

Judith on August 14, 2010 at 2:36 AM

@50: Yes, then Ogdenville and North Haverbrook. How dare they steal your monorail, Seattle!

emma's bee on August 14, 2010 at 5:54 AM

Yesterday was the best day on Slog. Props!

mitten on August 14, 2010 at 10:47 AM

Only one minor problem Slog: the other side doesn't even know they are in a fight with you.

Typical Seattle hicks desperate for attention and a job in NYC so they can get out of Podunk

on August 14, 2010 at 10:58 AM

Only one minor problem Slog: the other side doesn't even know they are in a fight with you.

Typical Seattle hicks desperate for attention and a job in NYC so they can get out of Podunk

on August 14, 2010 at 11:01 AM

Once more into the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our Seattle dead!

Greg on August 14, 2010 at 1:29 PM

Oh look little Seattle is trying to compare itself to New York.

Really?

Yeah.

Well, they're not really like Juneau anymore.

Yeah, more like a coastal Denver, plus computers.

Yeah. those computer folks, they're very interesting what with their RAMs and chips and their 001001000.

So, maybe we'll go out there one week?

Sure, why not? We've already been to Europe 10 times, the hamptons, the carribbean 20 times, New Orleans, Chicago, Miami, the Bahamas, Santa Fe, and California about 20 times...we can go on the way to Hawaii maybe...or combine it with Vancouver.

Sure. So maybe next August when even the beach is too hot?

Sounds good.

on August 14, 2010 at 1:47 PM

Wow. What a bunch a sad pathetic fuckers. Do y'all really think Seattle compares to New York. Really? I mean aren't you being a bit disingenuous? New York is one of the most cosmopolitan cites in the world. Seattle is a small time wet hell hole that lacks a night life after midnight. Please get over yourselves.

mrbombit on August 14, 2010 at 2:13 PM

It's the pesto of cities.

on August 14, 2010 at 2:26 PM

I was trying to stay neutral all day, but as I was enjoying some leisurely retail therapy in my clean and overall pleasant smelling metropolis, I stepped into a Pacific Place restroom and remembered that back east they do not employ the use of toilet seat covers in their restrooms! Resourceful girls can hover, sure, but that doesn't make them tough or smarter, as I'm sure the argument may be..... it's just GROSS.

kittenalarm on August 14, 2010 at 3:37 PM

Moved from NY to Seattle with girlfriend in 1992. WE got place on Queen Anne. She's a native. Of Seattle. One night we're out for drinks and walking home she stops in the QA baseball diamond in the park they have? Yup she squats down and pees right in the batting area.

Yes, we broke up shortly thereafter.
She also didn't shave her legs.

But yes, in general, Seattle has it all over NYC is being "clean and overall pleasant smelling" ....

....yawn.

on August 14, 2010 at 4:34 PM

Yes, but

The original name of the settlement was "New York Alki," "Alki" being a word in Chinook Jargon (Wawa) meaning "eventually" or "by and by."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alki_Point,…

Supreme Ruler Of The Universe on August 14, 2010 at 5:08 PM

New Yorker here- never stepped foot in Washington State. Reader of slog for almost five years now. Why? Dan Savage. He (and Lindy West- god I love her) are international and gather audiences far outside the normal sphere of The Stranger. Just so you know.

Aedan Robinson on August 15, 2010 at 5:51 AM

What's most amusing here is that virtually nobody writing here about the wonders of Seattle are, you know, actually from Seattle. (They're usually the most insufferable types.)

bigyaz on August 16, 2010 at 10:59 AM

I lived in NYC on the upper east side for 5 years.... Compared to any west coast city it is a piece of sh!t. Can't use credit or debit anywhere because all businesses evade taxes. everything is overpriced, crummy little apartments (slumlords), idiots (see jersey shore) from the bridges and tunnels are everywhere, poor/unsafe driving, sports cable monopolies, sweaty weather in the summer, freezing wind in the winter -- and no matter matter what it is, to a new yorker it's always "the best" because they never have been out west

on August 23, 2010 at 9:32 AM

Mission Accomplished! The Stranger Declares Victory in Its War on New York City

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