OW OW OW HEAD HURT FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU--

Fuck's sake.

Fear will keep the external behaviors in line. Fear of this Jesus-station.

To subject yourself to that kind of punishment.. Paul, they're not paying you enough.

Don't shoot yourself, Paul. Come back to us. It's not all like that...

@5:

Because, they know better than you, or me, or any so-called "scholars" exactly what the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution and the Bible all mean, just like they know exactly what is in the mind of their God. They just KNOW, regardless of facts, evidence or precedent to the contrary, and your disagreeing with them is simply PROOF of the correctness of their position.

In short, they've created a perfect form of circular logic that they can wrap themselves inside of, like a big ole' bubble of stupid...

@3: The more you tighten your grip, Barton, the more behaviors will slip through your fingers.

YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

I don't think those are real people who are asking those questions. At least, that's what I tell myself so I can sleep at night.

I like how they try to use John Locke's philosophy, i.e. that of a deist who did not buy concepts like divine intervention or original sin, to justify a socially conservative theocracy.

Then again, these demigods known as the "founding fathers" interpreted Locke's truths to be self evident that all white male property owners are created equal and are entitled to protection of their property and do not have to pay tribute to the crown.

I could see any of those philosophies on a plaque, hanging above the door of a militia clubhouse.

Yep, take back America from the dark skinned Muslim socialist homosexual abortionists, and return to the idyllic era of no gov't & no laws 'cept for the 10 commandments. Just as the founding fathers said. Also, buy these gold coins.

The most regulated businesses are energy firms - my mutual funds in those have done way better (utilities etc) than the rest of the market.

Glenn Beck needs to go back to school.

@9: I know, right!? Communes are famous for building highways.

Having no government and no regulations is a great idea!

Just ask all those pirates in somalia

It's shocking to me to hear that Obama only got 7% of the vote in '08.

Yeah, about those pesky regulations - the Canadian banking and real estate sectors are far more heavily regulated than their American counterparts, which was the source of a great deal of whining on their part for many years. But when the big melt down of American banking/real estate happened, it turned out that all those regulations had been doing EXACTLY what they were supposed to be doing all that time, saving the market from its own worst impulses. We had a recession here, but it was shorter, far less severe and has not had the lingering effect that is still freaking out many Americans. So suck it, Barton (you too, Trebek).

Fuck his God talk, but he does have a point many conservatives often overlook: Our constitution assumes people's rights are inborn, not given them by the State. So the next time one of them tells you illegals "don't have any rights", you can quote Glenn Beck right back at 'em.

@18, that's because Acorn stole the other 45 percent.

Paul, whatever the Stranger is paying you to do this, it isn't enough. I would rather pull my own teeth out with rusty pliers than sit through the whole series of Beck U.

*shudder*

@17 - How, exactly? Do you pass a hat around and ask for money? A hat that can hold a billion dollars? Or does some rich dude say, "I think I'll build and maintain a highway. For the people."

You may have accidentally hit the nail on the head with "if people wanted to." No one wants to spend billions on a highway for other people to use. Except, of course, a government.

Paul, how much longer do you have to take these "classes?" Because I think a graduation party is in order. Someone could make a banner of Jesus & the Statue of Liberty riding an eagle w/the ten commandments gripped in it's razor sharp talons. Below it will read: "America, we took that shit back! 2010!"
Maybe combine it with the next Slog Happy?

I link every Hate Registration post to all of my friends. Paul, you go where the sane fear to tread, and we're all better off for it. Thank you for enduring.

I feel sick and dizzy just from reading that.

@23: Well, there's toll roads to consider, but I think you'd be hard pressed to find an example where the road's construction was completely paid for in a reasonable amount of time. (i.e. worthy of the investment) Besides, that obviously only works for certain types of roads. The tolling model breaks down fast as roads become more local. So yeah, it's a nice idea, but, like most ideologically pure ideas, impractical.

I thought Paul asked a pretty good question, 'cause the Teabaggers and Beck-U ilk are all kinds of convoluted about Jefferson.. they pretend to love the guy when they throw on their tricorn hats and start spewing about "blood of tyrants" or "Taxation follows that, and in its train wretchedness and oppression."

but then they actively ignore and try to dismiss that he was a Diest who also said: ""History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance of which their civil as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purposes."

& "In every country and in every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection to his own."

but expecting any logical consistency or basic reason from the hucksters and their flock is almost as sad/funny as it is pointless...

"And President Reagan was strongly right to life; how did his economic policies work out? That’s my most important standard."

Oooh, I know the answer to this one! His economic policies resulted in the largest deficit in history, a net growth in government, and the S&L Crisis with its subsequent half-trillion dollar bailout.

Also, as governor of California in 1967, he signed a bill legalizing "therapeutic" abortions, which included a provision allowing for "the well-being of the mother." California went from having 518 legal abortions in 1967 to averaging 100,000 a year, the highest rate in any state before the passage of Roe v. Wade. That's how "strongly right-to-life" he was.

"Democratic presidents." Not "Democrat presidents." Just sayin'.

@11 touches on the point I came to make - the text Paul quotes from the "perfessor" and the "students" reads like they are dangerously close to deifying the Founding Fathers.

You heard it here first.

@19 ftw. Cause sexy sexy Canadians always win.

@31 *blush*

Mr. Constant deserves the fecking medal of honour, or Victoria Cross, or something like that. You must want to bleach your ears, poor dear. We need to start a fund to pay for the pub bill you're going to have by the end of this...

Jump link is out...

uhhhh, if (and that's a ginormous fucking if) there is a divine creator (and douchenozzles and fucktards like beck almost verificably prove there ISN'T) and this divine creator is giving us our inalienable rights, then we wouldn't need a fucking government to secure jack shit.

because that would be one badass muthaeffing creator-dude.

who would be pro-gay marriage, pro-environment and pretty much anti anything douchnozzles and fucktards like galinda beck are for.

@24 That's brilliant.

yes, @ 24 - we must, MUST have a graduation party for Paul!!

i will help in any way i can. seriously.

Huh. When I see the name David Barton I automatically think of the small beefy fellow who owns those gyms in New York City specifically for sexy people. I'm going to keep that up.