I read the whole thing, but I have infinite respect for your use of "TL;DR."

@1: OR JUST HIT THE BACK/FORWARD/DISNEY.COM BUTTON. stranger commenters are the biggest bunch of whiny bitches on earth.

Well, DUH. Someone with the name "skinnyjeans" is obviously a hipster, and therefore rather removed from reality.

It's like I was saying to someone who said her computer was down - give it a backrub.

Or some chocolate.

thank you, i find her "depressed? you're doing it wrong!" attitude to be unnecessarily flippant to sufferers of real depression.

Hey Megan, I heard on the internets that being upbeat and focused can cure anything, but will it help cure me of the internets?

Do you think she's a Scientologist?

Wow, maybe she could tell me how to improve my stock portfolio!

maybe shes depressed

You don't suppose she knows what "sanctimonious" means, do you? Honestly, those born ten feet in front of the starting line who blithely go through life passing judgment and issuing advice to those who started ten feet back from the line MAKE ME CRAZY WITH IRE.

Since I am unlikely to find my "true work", I'll stick with the little brown pills thank you very much.

Usually people who describe themselves as upbeat are trying to convince themselves that they are.

Pro Tip: disregard any and all Twitter accounts containing "social media" in the bio. They are spam.

Seriously, as a rule. I don't take advice from random idiots on Twitter. If you're doing that, you done screwed up; go back to start.

I'm just saying.

@9 President Obama already did that today with the news that private employment went up again, in his continuing record number of private jobs created in 18 months that dwarves the pitiful job destruction of Comrade Bush during his 8 years in office. You can thank him, TVDinner.

@15 It's not about whether someone is smart enough to not take advice, it's about people perpetuating the notion that depression is someone's own fault for choosing the wrong career, partner, city, etc.

"Deliciously upbeat" = "incredibly irritating" 100% of the time. I bet she talks about her soul as an independent entity, and she's never actually dealt with actual clinical depression.

On the less irritating side, congratulations on the engagement, Megan! To borrow a nice sentiment dressed up in awful language from her Twitter, "If you're blessed w/ a soultastic love most people never get to experience, dive deep. Don't let fear deprive you of great love!"

@ Megan,

Congratulations on your engagement!

@14 - You noticed that, too, eh? How the hell do they get so many followers, then? Or do they collect other SEO/Social Marketing Twitterbots?

@14 & @20 She has a blog, she is spam to an extent, yes (because it's all inspirational bullshit and such) but she's also linking to her blog and participating in a community, mostly women and other social media types. A lot of her followers are real. They retweet what she says and respond to her and she interacts back. It's not a robot/official spam acct.

Basically, dingbats like skinnyjeans have no idea that there is a difference between feeling down (say, because you have an unsatisfying, soul-sucking job), and real, clinical depression. These are usually the same idiots who will tell you that "everything happens for a reason", or that people who are sick can "visualize" themselves better. Morons. By that logic, five year-olds with cancer are responsible for the fact that they don't get better. (somehow the dingbats always get pissed when you point this out to them)

Who gives a flying fuck what some random broad is spewing all over the internet.

Clearly the solution to depression is "Don't worry, be happy!"

I thought there was such a thing a as freedom of speech! you may not agree with what Stephanie Quilao says but then I don't agree with some of the things you say however I respect your right to say it just as you should respect her right to have her opinion and to express that opinion to her 50k + followers which I assure you are all 100% genuine I have been following skinnyjeans for 5 years and she has been a very inspirational influence to me on my weight-loss journey...my advice to you if you don't like what she has to say then STOP following her tweets. You don't have to be so hateful about her simply expressing her right to freedom of speech.

@27 - somebody here doesn't understand the concept of free speech. Nobody here asked her isp to take down her blog, nobody asked twitter to shut down her account. Megan promoted free speech by trying to engage in a dialogue. Nobody is trying to take away her opportunities to express herself. We're all just expressing our opinion that she's a stupid cunt, you fucktard.

Wow... many of your commenters, like you, have no idea what they're talking about when it comes to Steph. No idea at all. And shame on you for allowing something so innocent to trigger you into this rage and scathing commentary.

Here: http://www.stephaniequilao.com/2010/09/m…

Stephanie is a dear friend, and I've known her many years. One thing she isn't, is self-righteous and reactive, like all of you.

@26

I read your response. Here's mine, as both a consumer of mental health services and a former certified peer councilor to people with severe mental illnesses:

No one is discounting your own experiences or denying you freedom of speech. However, you need to be more careful to not discount the experiences of others. From what I gather in your post, much of your experience of severe depression and anxiety is based on trauma and not a lifetime history of chronic mental illness, though since I don't follow your blog I can't be sure.

For many of us who suffer with mental illness, it is a struggle every single day. Yes, having a positive attitude is helpful, and using methods like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can certainly assist one in maintaining a high level of functionality. However, and I cannot stress this enough, most moderate to severe mental illnesses are not caused by trauma -- though trauma may trigger or worsen a condition -- they are, instead, chronic, life-threatening diseases. When one is having a relapse, one simply may not be capable of "living authentically". For so many of us, our authentic experience begins and ends with having literally no control over our own actions. One can think of mental illness just like any other life-threatening chronic disease, such as diabetes or Crohn's Disease: if you don't manage it properly, it will kill you.

What makes me angry about the way you have written -- and I agree with you, Twitter is not a good platform for complicated thoughts -- is that instead of helping to de-stigmatize mental illness, I feel that it feeds the stigma. It makes me feel like you think that my illness is my fault for not trying hard enough when I have been struggling to live since before I began puberty. When you tell me (because, as a disabled, mentally ill woman, I feel that your posts on depression are aimed at me) that I am sick because I am not doing my "true work", it makes me feel like you have never been where I have been. This is the same reductive attitude that kept me and so many others from getting help for years. I've seen people die -- as I have almost died -- just because they were told to pull up their socks and put a smile on their face. This attitude kills.

I understand that many of my past clients are not your target audience. Many of them are low income and/or homeless, some incapable of holding down a job. True, they probably are not following their "true path", but that's because they're too sick and it is harder than you will ever know for them to get help. Your audience is probably primarily upper-middle class women, so you may not be as familiar with the wider face of these diseases. There's nothing wrong with that; mental illness does not discriminate due to class and everyone needs help, though mental illness is disproportionately more common and severe in lower classes who do not have access to the same resources that you and many of your readers do. If you cannot get stable in your illness, all the cheerleading in the world is not going to help you.

Like Megan and despite my disability, I am fortunate enough to be high-functioning. I work a full work week. I am a successful artist. I am surrounded by people who love me and show their love for me every day. I have a life, a drive, and a will to live that most people would envy, and almost every day I think about dying. Ms. Quilao, I suspect Megan is not angry because of you personally, but because she feels that your comments reduce her struggle to a simple black and white world where she is the loser for not being perfect and "normal", a thing many of us are made to feel every day. Your comments feel like an attack, regardless of intent. Yes, we do and can choose how we react to situations, but only when we are functional enough to do so. That's not always the case with mental illness, even with all the resources that Western and Eastern medicine can bring to bear.

Please, be more careful. Comments like these that are so easily misinterpreted I feel are irresponsible and counter to what I genuinely believe to be your true cause. If you must use Twitter, consider simply using it to inform your followers that you have a new blog post where you can more thoroughly explore your ideas. I won't lie, the "affirmations" I read make my blood boil with their pop-psychological oversimplification. I don't like people telling me that my illness is my fault -- whether they intend to do so or not -- when I do not victimize myself and I do everything in my power to live a healthy life. As I'm sure you know, mental illness is anything but simple, and when you put something on the internet, it's there for all to see in perpetuity. I think with your commitment to help others as a peer you can do better, and I for one will be pleased to see that.

X-posted to Stephanie Quilao's blog.

@26 Stephanie, thanks for sharing your story. I think it's great when people talk about depression and what they've been through. But my issue is not with whether or not you have had any experience with depression. You said that you did, and I am not questioning that.

My issue is with the initial message itself.

It hit an emotional trigger with me because, as someone who is also dealing with depression in my own ways, I hate it when it becomes trivialized with quick theories or platitudes--especially when the theories appear to be placing the blame on the choices made by the person who is suffering. Having been there yourself, I wonder if you would've appreciated a 140-character "tip" about simply finding your soul's true path when you were trying to get through darker times. I read that message as trivializing a very long battle.

Also, I think it's unrealistic to assume that anyone reacting to your words will first take the time to Google your name or read your backstory to gain context. I read a handful of your posts--I gained some context presented. You eat jicama (it's delicious!), you milked a goat, you had a blog about fitting into your skinny jeans--how far back am I required to go before I'm allowed to react to an idea you presented?

Gaining context on a person with tons of research is not how Twitter (or even the web in general) works. So if you are wondering whether or not you need to include more information about yourself on your Twitter page, or assuming people will find out your life story in order to then fully understand the statements you put out to 50,000 followers, then maybe you should take a better look at the content your presenting instead.

@27, nobody suggested she wasn't within her rights to spew such nonsense. No one said that she should be shot, or arrested, or banned from Twitter usage forever. She has a 1st amendment right to free speech, we know that. But here's the kicker; SO DO WE! We have a 1st amendment right to point out that she does a disservice to impressionable depressed people by telling them they're living wrong. We have the right to disagree with her vocally and in print. The First Amendment doesn't guarantee you the right to speak without consequence. It just gives you the right to speak no matter the consequence. She spoke, as per her first amendment right. We respond, as per OUR first amendment right. She's an idiot with a national audience, which is unfortunate, but luckily I'm within my rights to say it. And the rant you're sure to post in reply to me is within your rights. See how nicely that works?

This post should depress her plenty.

Thank you for responding to her bullshit. She clearly has NEVER been depressed. It is not something you can escape by sheer will. Believe me, I'd be cured by now. Thank you for speaking the truth.

Huh, I read this post, and now I've read skinnyjeans' longer reply, and... I think your post would have been much stronger if you had just stuck to criticizing her definition of "kickassness", which is admittedly really weak and sort of mock-able. ("Kickass" is a verb? The "-ness" comes from "happiness"? etc.)

I don't know enough about depression to think about taking sides, but this post just seems like a massive, misdirected overreaction. I kind of think you owe her an apology. Mock her for the "kickassness" thing if you want, but don't write a scathing blog post to someone who tweets "Joy comes in walking your path!"

(Or, alternately, if "one of [her] theories on depression" -- obviously meaning something along the lines of "one of [her] thoughts about depression" -- really is totally off base, then go ahead and blog about it being wrong. But back it up with hard science, not anecdotes and rhetoric.)

A random person said something stupid on Twatter. Stop the presses!

I agree that SQ is well-intentioned, but so was the woman who wrote The Secret, which is just as insulting, if not more. I got into a conversation recently with someone about that book who was like "Everything happens for a reason! If you just ask the Universe for your path and success, it will come to you!" Yes, that's exactly why children die of leukemia, because their parents weren't asking the Universe for a successful recovery.

A positive attitude is often a great starting point for tackling any problem, but it's still irresponsible to treat something like depression as though it's easily dismissed. "Hey fat people, here's my theory -just eat less and you'll be fine!"

OP and @17: Everything you said, thank you. This is a truth-out that cannot be over-said by anyone ever.

I also take people like skinnyjeans at their word about as much as a closeted homo coming from a revivalist church telling everyone that being gay is abomination. But we all know that here on SLOG.

Actually, proselytizing — subject irrespective — gets the big whatever from me.

I agree with @37.

This post does seem to be more of an emotional reaction than a constructive, insightful response. It is 100% understandable, though, because when we are in the middle of something that has such an emotional charge to us, we can easily get defensive, reactionary, or any other expression of just plain having our feelings hurt.

I will admit, though, that I was impressed by your comment on Stephanie's blog, which shows that emotions (on both ends) were settled a bit, and an open discussion seems to have ensued. What a great example of how the web can bring us together in open, meaningful communication.

It's the same with Stephanie's response. Hers does show detachment from the situation, not because she "doesn't have a clue of what she's talking about" (as many of the ignorant commenters have implied) but because she's no longer in the 'thick of it' so to speak.

While her theory may or may not be complete (or even accurate... though I do agree there is an element of wisdom to it) what she is doing is looking back on her experience objectively. She knows depression, she knows hurt, pain & frustration... as much as nearly anyone can. What she is doing now, though, is separating her experience from the emotional anchors that she felt at the time, and looking back to learn from it, and grow into a new, deeper expression of who she feels she is, and how she feels she can use her past hurt to help others.

While this may be difficult (or impossible) to do when we are "suffering" from whatever our current situation may be (not just mental illness), it is something that we should all strive to do. That is, examine our situation without emotional charge, whenever we can let go of all the intense emotions we've attached to what we think our situation may be.

Overall, the conversation that started as a petty reaction to an emotionally charged subject, has evolved into mature & insightful dialogue between Megan & Stephanie. I'm taking a guess here, but I am assuming that Megan feels a lot more at peace about the situation after learning a bit more about Stephanie, as well as seeing her honest, calm & grounded reaction to poignant & open criticism.

This is something that all of us as commenters (& readers) could learn from.

Yeah, this is why I am not apart of the grand Twitter movement. I can rarely handle two or three blogs. Yet I still am a memetic slave, commenting on this post, eh?

I can't say I've cast out all of my demons but I do recognize volition in seeking out and reacting to triggers. There is a subtle ability to choose to react or not and there are varying circumstances where you can't help but reacting (like in abusive situations). Maybe that's progress from where I was a few years ago. Maybe it's just a modicum of maturity though.

There's a difference between "changing direction" and examining root causes and conditions. It appears to me you are reifying depression rather materialistically just as the current (and failed, IMO) psychiatric paradigm has done from the start. This is the same materialism that leads to a symptom-treating culture and the mistaken impulse on the part of some to seek identity in a condition rather than dealing with the underlying causes of that condition.