Comments

1
Brand-spanking-new college students, away from home for the first time, annihilating themselves with alcohol at the start of the year, is such a regular occurrence you can set your watch by it.
2
Shades of "Thunder Muscle", the radioactive energy drink in "The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret", David Cross's new series.

It doesn't contain alcohol, but it makes you bonkers. In the most recent episode, product spokesman and superstar snooker player Steve Davis (who really is a superstar snooker player in real life), becomes enraged by Cross's character's continued mispronunciation of "snooker" and beats him senseless with a cue stick, after having drunk less than a can of the stuff.
3
i'm locking my kids in the basement until they're 30
4
when you make it forbidden fruit, you encourage overconsumption.
5
CWU isn't exactly attended by the best and brightest.
6
"One equals four to five beers."

Uh. So beer is 2.4-3% where, Utah? This article is fear mongering at its best.
7
Should college students be more careful when it comes to binge drinking? Yes. Should capitalism be checked so that toxic shit like this doesn't have the chance to harm people the way it is designed to? Absolutely.
8
I really, really, really love that the existence of four loko is pushing moral panic levels of absurdity in the the news.

Also, @6, this beast comes in a 24oz. can, hence 24 oz of 12% ~ 4 * 12oz * 5%
9
Fuckin noobs
10
This is why you should drink in high school. So you have at least some tolerance / idea of how fucked up you are when drinking before going to college.
11
6: They come in 24 oz cans.

There is something fishy about this article, though. From my own college experimentation, Four really isn't that effective.

It is, however, pretty nice when you're running around in the woods at 2 in the morning and don't have any whiskey.
12
@6

A 24oz. can of this swill has around 2.64 ounces of alcohol. The 12oz. cans of high quality beer I drank last night contained .816 ounces of alcohol each. So a can this disgusting gut rot has over three times the alcohol content than the craft beer I was drinking last night, and that craft beer has more alcohol (6.8%) than the typical mass-market piss beer college kids usually drink.

So maybe not as fear mongering as it sounds?
13
Clearly the WSLCB needs to step in and restrict point-of-sale for this product exclusively to the state-run liquor stores. That will put a stop to this underage drinking scourge.
14
i know it takes like doo but what kind ?..i'm curious.
15
TFLN is real, omg.
16
@8, 11, 24.

So a 24oz Budweiser is like drinking 2 Budweisers? Wow!

If only they had been drinking Three Thieves Bandit box wine http://www.naturalhomemagazine.com/uploa… this wouldn't have happened!
17
Amateurs.
18
@16, the difference is, wine isn't packed with energy-drink poison, like megadoses of caffeine and guarana, that counter the perception of drunkenness (but not the actual impairment of it). Wine also does not taste like fruit punch. Not too many folks are going to guzzle down three or four boxes of that wine, but they will of this garbage -- and they'll even mix it with vodka for even more kick.

Normal people keep their candy and their drugs separate. Kids may not know that yet.
19
WOOHOO FOUR LOKO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjX6MV0Yj…

A friend of mine once said, "I love drinking Four Loko because people always come up to you and tell you the crazy shit that happened when they were drinking it."

In all seriousness, though, I agree with #10.

And I can't help but think that Four Loko was somehow developed as a big fuck you to the whole Sparks operation getting shut down. "You think THAT'S bad, let's give it more booze and throw some wormwood in it. THAT'LL TEACH 'EM."
20
I love 4loko so fucking much.
21
This is why I stick to beer, wine, and hard liquor. None of that caffeinated shit.
22
What fucking idiots... just like me when I was 18...
23
Just another reason to buy booze in Canada. It'll taste better too.
24
We used to "eat" vodka-soaked watermelons in the Army.

In Washington State.

And then go out and shoot things.

.. mostly we missed ..
25
@23 for the Canadians Have More Fun win.
26
Date rape drugs continue to be a giant myth. We'll always assume it was drugs before we do any investigation, though!

27
From the King5 report on this from Oct 10th:

"Police suspect someone spiked the drinks at the house party, but they're still unsure what it was and who was responsible.

On Saturday, Central Washington Students attended emergency community meetings.

"You go to a party to have fun. You don't go to a party to drug all these people and cause this huge mess and potentially hurt everyone," said freshman Diane Chamberlain. Her friends were at the party and one of them is still hospitalized. Chamberlain wants to the person or persons who drugged the other student caught and prosecuted,"I want to know what was going on in their heads when they said this was a good idea.""
28
God, I hate amateur drinkers.
29
@27 Didn't the cops walk in to a guy fucking a half conscious girl? That's probably why they first thought roofies.
30
I can't believe an entire party got defeated by four loko. Noobs indeed.
31
"I went to a college party and someone put drugs in my weird-flavored fruity, fizzy, shit drink. I had no idea what was going on. I swear mom and dad." I've had four loko, and it tastes like nothing innocuous at all.
32
Makes you wish for ole days and a quaint lil drink called Sparks.
34
Hey! @5! My baby sister goes there! I kill you!!!

FWIW, she is a senior and did not attend this party.

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