Comments

1
It means it's winter! (That's the end to the last movement of Vivaldi's WInter, from "The Four Seasons"
2
It means "cocaine is a terrible drug".
3
It is this:

We tread the icy path slowly and cautiously, for fear of tripping and falling.
Then turn abruptly, slip, crash on the ground and, rising, hasten on across the ice lest it cracks up.
We feel the chill north winds coarse through the home despite the locked and bolted doors…
this is winter, which nonetheless brings its own delights.

Well, Vivaldi (we presume) wrote it in Italian, then wrote the concerto/program music to accompany it.
4
That was nice.
5
...this is winter, which nonetheless brings its own delights, falls, glistenings and fatalities; get thee to your neighbourhood REI for Yaktrax, shoe salt and udder balm.
6
It means you've been auto-dialed by that credit card company you neglected to pay last month and there were no representatives immediately available when your voicemail picked up the auto-dialed call so you got to hear their hold music.

Enjoy collections!
7
It means you owe somebody money.
8
Prolly someone who likes good music! Sounds like Vivaldi.
9
Fed Ex delivery notice?
10
@7: or someone who has ever been listed as working there owes someone money
11
Am I the only one who thinks this is really creepy?
12
It means you will die in one week.
13
It means they called you and immediately put your voice mailbox on hold.
14
It means you were late to work, you lazy bastard.
15
@13 that would be my guess. Nowhere near as fun as the other explanations though.

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