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So Savage Love may ruin the relationship of a 15 year old girl (but really, what wouldn't?) but never that of an adult.
I've thought of writing in once or twice in the decade I've been reading Savage Love, but most of that was before I managed to get any action. Things are pretty good, I'd say for this finite chunk of electric meat.
The very fact that you frame the question in the way you did says more about you and your morals and biases than anything else. A non-judgmental, non-moralistic question would ask: "What are the long-term consequences of engaging in a series of casual sexual encounters?", not "What are the negative long-term consequences of engaging in a series of casual sexual encounters?"
Why denigrate a sexual practice that others find satisfying? Just because I don't want to have receptive anal sex with a man, it doesn't mean I disparage the act. To each their own. There's nothing wrong with the way other adults have consensual sex.
I'm going to jump on the @26 bandwagon. As I stated - some people can handle it, others cant. Some people view sex as an emotional thing, others a hybrid, and still others can completely compartmentalize sex from emotion.
Is that healthy? Fuck if I know, I'm not a psych. But I know plenty of very well adjusted individuals who can separate sex from emotion just fine.
Are there potential health issues with random hook-ups? Sure. And individuals who don't practice some sort of safety in these situations (ie: routinely engage in receptive, unprotected intercourse with complete strangers) likely have underlying emotional and/or psychological issues that I'm quite certain none of us here are qualified to quantify.
However, the ability to engage, safely, in mutually satisfying "casual encounters" probably only has negative consequences, emotionally speaking, if the individual is subsequently shamed in some fashion or another by the morality police.
Again, I fully agree that not everyone is equipped to have hook-ups or casual partners. Some people crave and need monogamy for some reason or another. Some people need something in the middle - a few partners that are long-term. Some people don't need monogamy at all.
But a blanket statement, phrased in a question such as yours, I would step out and say is wrong. Unless you can prove me wrong, of course.
Yeah, yeah, I know it's only half-serious. :-)
I'm uncomfortable *talking* to strangers, let along fucking them. So hookups ain't for me.
However, I have a problem with the way the blogger makes her proclamation that Hookups Are Bad, as if hookups being bad for her automatically makes them bad for everyone else. I say, if you like 'em, go for it. Just don't tell me all about and expect me to understand what the hell the appeal is.
I love broccoli, myself. Raw, steamed, with peanut butter - it's all good.
But on what authority are you saying that monogamy (or, as a nephew recently misspoke at Christmas - monotony) is "good for you"?
And I'm just saying that I'm terrible at the sex ;-)
Ans what a whiner, her first bf dumped her. Who's hasn't almost no one ends up with their first love. I think she has serious problems blaming a sex advice columnist for her inability to accept an answer to a question and move on. From gist of it, she never asked for Dan's advice she took his advice for others and applied it with out fore thought. What a winy biacth. And since when has Dan been "anti" hetero? I think he;s rather fair to all sexual orientations/identities.
It's an amusing story, obviously told from the standpoint of someone who, years later knows how she screwed up, and recounted it as sort of a lessons learned retrospective. Take it for what it is. Lighten the hell up.
Have any of you angry commenters actually read the damn thing?
And over the course of a relationship, or even a week, sometimes you can have vanilla and sometimes chocolate and sometimes tutti-frutti. Not every single sex act has to be unique and mind-blowing. Sometimes you just crave a little comfort and tenderness after a long day, and you save the more varied approach for another day.
I'm going to go ahead and throw it out there - is it such a good thing to live longer? Honestly, I have no desire to live into my 80's. I see people that old - the pills, the pain, the difficulty being independent - and I don't get why it's so awesome.
But that's just me. I would like to see, of course, a cite for all of the things you just posted as if they were fact. While I believe that I have previously seen that folks who are partnered live longer, and will give you that, the cancer one? I'm going to have to call bullshit on that.
And open relationships are only people cheating with permission. I find that it is very rare that any relationship, gay or straight, is strictly monogamous the entire time.
let us help you-
the long-term consequences of engaging in a series of casual sexual encounters are negative.
physically/medically it is a lifestyle that guarantees STDs-
the only question is how many how soon.
emotionally it is damaging and makes it dificult to find longterm emotional satisfaction.
the longer the string of hookups the more emotional baggage.
the more cavalier and casual the attitude toward and practice of sex the less able to enjoy sex as an enhancer of a longterm relationship.
"is it such a good thing to live longer? "
that's a very personal question, mich.
but if you decide the answer is 'no'
the homosexual lifestyle is an excellent way to achieve your goals.
it cultivates an unrealistic innacurate expectation and impression of sex in it's credulous consumers.
people become unable to find satisfaction from perfectly satisfactory sexual behaviors because they have substituted someone else's values for their own, and that someone else has lead them astray down a path that always yields fustration and disappointment.
and if you are buying the sexual values of Pat Robertson or Dan Savage, either way you are throwing away your own right and ability to decide what works for you in exchange for some smarmy smug douchnozzel's recipe for failure.
it doesn't really matter if you drink the red koolaid or the green koolaid-
you screw yourself either way.
Also, I don't know who you think I am (a homosexual male?) but I'm a girl, and currently in a relationship with a guy. The times I've had hetero sex in the missionary position I HATED it because I would feel suffocated, pinned down, and would have to keep my boyfriend's ribcage from smacking my face. All of my experiences with missionary have been miserable and I honestly wonder how people enjoy it, especially because I think the fact I am really short may be the reason I dislike it, but it's only a guess.
~*Sorry for the offense*~
HA!