Dept. of Less Successful Holiday Displays


Ew. Alka Seltzer side, please.
On behalf of everyone who did sample using the utensils provided, thank you for not sticking your "hand inside to find out".
@2) You had to put your hand partway in to cut the thing properly, but it looked like... a bloodbath in there. God knows, whirring blades would come out of nowhere and turn my hand into cranberry sauce.
Dudes! Laser Zepplin at the Pacific Science theatre this Sunday? Right after that is Laser Dirge (featuring the music of Tool). OMG - Thursday night is Laser MIchael Jackson?

That beats hanging out at QFC any day, even with Cranberries and Brie!
I'm tempted to make up little labels that read "SWINE FLU" and stick them on these disgusting sample things.
Look, the sneeze guard is there to catch my persistent nasal drip, and it also keeps my dandruff out of the cheese. What's the problem?
Yep. Definitely placenta.
I used to work at the QFC in University Village, and would occasionally be assigned to "demo" food items. These particular kinds of display are a cost-effective way to sample items without a worker nearby. There's ice in that black bowl underneath, keeping that cheese at 40 degrees or below (in theory, but perhaps not reality). The dome is meant to prevent the spread of germs, but unless customers rotate the dome after each sample, there's a "weak spot" in that seemingly impenetrable plasticine defense.

A few times, I was assigned to demo products for the meat department. This was slightly more interesting, because I got to cook meats on a mini-grill and serve them, instead of just standing around and waiting for customers. Once, a girl my age kept talking to me for about 5 minutes or so (most interactions are over in a few seconds--greet, offer food, customer takes bite, says thanks, walks away). I didn't know a polite way to ask her to leave without offending her (customer service), so I kept chatting in a way that I thought was sending out "not interested" signals. Eventually, she noticed my wedding ring on under my safety gloves, asked if I was married, and walked a way after a couple more moments of polite conversation.

It was a very strange experience. Thankfully, this cheese tray will never have to go through anything like this, and my days at Quality Food Centers are over.
I could eat that & not feel its negative effects on my body - real or figments of my hypochondriac imagination.
I meant to say there's no way I could eat that & ...
Between gus's nasal drip and the guy in front of me who hasn't washed his hands in three years, I think I'll pass.
Looks like a gross attempt at decadence let alone the disgusting iffy germ factor. I’m way too Howard Hughes for displays like that.
Although that display puts me in mind of one of the Saw posters, I am going to state for the record the absolute impossibility that gus has dandruff...I mean, really.
@13, do we know for sure that gus has hair? [ducks, runs away]
Fnarf!!! Clearly, gus has hair that would make both Robert Pattinson and Hugh Grant weep with envy...duh!
I wear a wig, and the dandruff forms beneath it, you see....
gus, you are not helping, here. Please maintain the illusion that you are Seattle's answer to Benedict Cumberbatch, in all his curl-tossing glory. Hmph.
Blind Monkey News Service here, providing you with a clip you may have missed, Dan tearing GOProud a new one:…
Excellent DanFan clip work, Canuck. I now have a new verb; to "dog-whistle".

And don't believe what I said, it's all naturally curly floppy hair for me. I was just Canuck-whistling you.
Thanks, germophobes, just means there's more cheesecake and cranberry sauce for me!
I knew it! I knew your blog-imagined hair wouldn't let me down! Thank you for that admission, or I would have been having Slog-mares all night... (I was going to make a Lauren Bacall Canuck-whistling joke, but my brain isn't functioning properly...I should probably just go to bed... :(
@22 makes an intelligent point, relevant and incisive.
Canuck, good night to you then! Or good morning, as may be the case by the time you ever check again on the Great Cream Cheese Sanitary Panic of 2010.
It is, indeed, morning gus, as I awake (yay, school holidays and a sketchy work schedule!) strangely unrested (who would be, after reading Slog before bed?) For some reason, I am just now remembering the habit of my famously frugal sister-in-law, who would take her children to Costco on a Saturday morning so they could fill up on food samples...she would have loved your QFC.