And Now a Little Something for the Ladies

Comments

1
This is the sort of thing you write in a journal, forget for a year, then read again later only to ask yourself --

"What the hell led my thoughts down that path? Thank god I didn't publish that on a popular blog."
2
... What the hell?!

Are there points to be made in that long screed? If so, Could you underline/bold/italicize/remove-everything-but them?
3
tl;dr
4
Ha ha ha ha WHAT.
5
Wait, so that's why the NHL is full of black people?

This is pure drivel and full of stupid. This asshole's daughter would have better spent that money on an editor for her idiotic father's rambling fucktarded rants.
6
You hit the nail on the head when you wrote "Any league not open to all is a novelty act". And then you started banging away at your fingers.
7
Gus, do your shot. 7 to go.
8
Is it too much to ask that you actually post something you didn't write from your remote cabin in Montana?
9
This makes as much sense as a conversation between John Bailo and Will in Seattle.
10
Ditto @3
11
Chastened into enlightenment by yesterday's demands for brevity


...immediately followed by 2,089 additional words.

Also, go Sounders.
12
Put down the bong, Dennis.
13
If that's what you consider brief, coherent and inoffensive, we're in for a long week here.
I was going to try to give your posts a chance, but I've definitely changed my mind.
14
Reading this fellow is a bit like snowshoeing- slow, uncomfortable, and not particularly rewarding.
15
ich habe Kopfschmerz jetzt.
16
2097 words.
17
Oh, and dear God, **PLEASE PLEASE** get Mudede to write a retort post to this. I stopped reading when we got to the white people prostrating in prayer before mystical black men flying around NBA arenas like Wudan masters.
18
I tried, really I did. I just don't follow.
19
Jesus, Joe, you got a lot further into it than I did.
20
Uh, referring to a women's sports league as a "tap stuck into the broad trunk of the NBA—the very bounty of human inequality—diverting a trickle for the purpose of sentimental inclusion." is outright offensive.

Did I read that right? Because this is what you sound like:
"These equal rights for people are just bleeding me dry! When will these women stop diverting precious resources from our hallowed Men to satisfy their petty, sentimental feeeeelings?!"

And insinuating that women play sports so they can be "more like men" is possibly the most ignorant, privileged nonsense I've ever heard. I know your penis probably can't understand this, but sometimes, women do things for reasons that have *absolutely nothing to do with men*.

You, sir, are a shitbag and you deserve everything you are getting.
21
Of course, what the WNBA is really about is making women more like men.

It's true. Throwing a ball makes you grow testes.

Please tell me you were high when you wrote this.
22
baby... sex much ? ..i mean , like, with women ?
23
If your intention is to sound like a verbose, pretentious tosspot, you are doing an admirable job, sir.
25
The black dominance of the NBA cannot be wholly attributed to "superior black physique'. Any understanding of black athletic or musical dominance that doesn't take the historically limited choices of institutionalized racism and connect it to the importance of role models for modern-day youth is severely flawed.

Canuck, I think I'm going to join you and Gus in the shots-drinking. It's the only way I expect to be able to get through this.
26
I second "tosspot". "Verbose" isn't strong enough, though; this guy's verbal diarrhea is overflowing the bowl. I read as much of the thing as I could stand and I still have no idea what he's talking about other than "women's basketball is dumb", or something. What's really dumb is torturing the English language this way.
27
Done, Canuck. The countdown continues. Seven of these embarrassments to go. Seven. Seven.
28
GODDAMMIT MATT LUBY, THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE.
29
Wow. You and Seattleblues seriously need to hang out. Waiting for your Homophobia Manifesto, so you can join him in making a matching set of Wingnuts for my collection.
30
"Strangercrombie is for the children, you can deal with this dreck for a week because it helped needy kids."

"Strangercrombie is for the children, you can deal with this dreck for a week because it helped needy kids."

"Strangercrombie is for the children, you can deal with this dreck for a week because it helped needy kids."

Repeat as necessary.
31
Why can't a woman be more like a man? Men are so honest, so thoroughly square; eternally noble, historic'ly fair; who, when you win, will always give your back a pat. Well, why can't a woman be like that?

I assume Mr. "women's leagues are stupid" here thinks that women's Olympic events should go away as well?

His racial ideas are pretty flaccid too. This stuff is worse than tea party junk.
32
How many NBA teams are owned by white guys again?
33
Canadian Nurse, you can go the espresso route that gus favours, or join me in a mid morning jagerbomb...either way, bottoms up!

gus, in addition to shots, I advise watching Map of Tasmania by Amanda Palmer to cleanse your palate...vid is on her website, apologies in advance for all the girly bits...

Lissa, if those two get together, one can only hope that spotaneous combustion proves to be real.
34
@27: Gus, what are we drinking? And can we mix it up with some foofy girly drinks like the fully awesome "Chocolate Cake Shot"?
35
I'm guessing this is the daughter's practical joke on The Stranger/Slog.

Good one, Miss Dale. Good one.
36
@31 - oh, fnarf, how i love thee. i actually clapped when i read that. the others in the cube farm think i'm addled.
37
Wow, a 2000 incomprehensible word salad on the WNBA?
38
I really want to make racist and/or sexist jokes here, but I am much to sober to understand this rant.

I am taking up a collection now, so I can be the guest slooger next year. If you donate to my campaign, I promise to post nothing but pictures of kitties and videos of fathers getting hit in the balls by thier kids. The only work I will write will be "discuss."

You're welcome.
39
@33: Jager is the devil. If we want to go non alcoholic, due to the earliness of the hour, may I suggest a little concoction we developed during my time of under employment as a Barista? The Starbux Speedball. Pull four shots into a cup containing a quarter inch of caramel sauce, add two pumps of hazelnut syrup, and top with whip cream and more caramel sauce. THAT will pop the pennies from your eyes.
40
Again, Brevity.
41
@39, What a delightful expression, "pop the pennies from your eyes".
42
@25 for the most poignant retort so far.

And I wonder who this girl is who reads The Stranger and thought it would be a good idea to buy this for her father. Perhaps she means to expose him for the extremely-overly-verbose blowhard that he is.

These posts remind me of an Eggo waffle covered in an entire bottle of syrup. The substance isn't that good to begin with, so it's completely drenched in something obnoxiously obfuscating.

Can I request that the next post be bullet points? Then we can really get down to parsing the man's arguments.
43
Canuck & Lissa
-Shot of espresso
-shot of Baileys
-1/2 shot of Whiskey

It won't quite "pop the pennies from my eyes" but it tastes wonderful.
44
You know, when I get word diarrhea, I go and sit in my own private blog for a while.
45
I admire all the creative "Dennis Dale Countdown Shots" you've come up with, Canuck, Lissa, and Nurse....
46
Dennis-
Were you hoping to be William Buckley when you grew up?
47
tl;dr, but at least the comments are fun to read.
48
What's this I heard about this guy's links to VDare?
49
reading this guys stuff feels like being spun around in a Disneyland tea cup.

I keep trying to read it, but all I can hear in hear in my head is the Charlie Brown:
"wamp wamp wamp wa wamp waa waaa wamp"
50
@43: Well that sounds like breakfast to *me*!
@ 41: courtesy of my Irish Grandma!
51
I read the first sentence and then checked the length of the post. Clearly, sir, you have not been chastised into brevity quite yet.

I too, Mr. Dale, have struggled with verbal diarrhea. I know the pain of watching the attention of your audience drain away like those last few chunks of food being sucked down a clogged kitchen sink. And I know full well the indignation that accompanies such a spectacle, and I know that cry in the back of your head that says "I use big words! My vocabulary is huge! I'm smart goddammit, so pay attention to what I have to say!"

But alas, Mr. Dale. Ignore that voice, make your point quickly, and perhaps you wouldn't be describing your personal blog as "desultory." "Lacking in plan, purpose, or enthusiasm" is maybe not the effect you should be shooting for, unless of course you're composing these essays entirely for your own amusement. But hey, at least your hit counts are up.
52
Okay, I'm baffled.

What possessed you do sign up for a week of this? It is clear you are not even close to the Stranger/Slog demographic. Did you think your mad writing skilz would convert all us communist liberals into your conservative mold? Are you (or your daughter) just paying for the privilege to troll at a higher level for a week? Was this a bad joke on your daughter's part?

Perhaps the reason lies buried in your 2000+ word screeds, but they are just too boring to wade through.
53
I think WNBA is doing well, but wish that the quality level of women's soccer would improve, so that the Huskies current play style was on a par with our UW status as a feeder university for women's soccer and basketball, not just for men's - even if we do well in CONCANF (never can spell that) participation.

Plus, we need more pics. Come on, a really interesting jump shot or a spin kick if we're talking soccer.
54
@43 mmm. we need that as a drink special at next SLOG Happy.
55
Fuck you, Dennis Dale's daughter.
56
Didn't make it to the fold today. Mainly because I looked down and saw that there was one.

Keep 'em coming, crazy man.
57
@39,

Holy shit. They should put that on the menu.
58
Big fat troll. Which is surprising 'cause usually trolls aren't that industrious, preferring just a blanket "hey, women are dumb" to actually writing words.

Anyway. My guess for the rationale of the daughter is either (1) exposing the dad a-la 42's explanation; or (2) she's a computer science or linguistics student & has developed a robot blogger that she's testing on us. Calling it her father is a little weird.

59
@53, if you knew what CONCACAF stood for you might be able to spell it. Instead you dribble out jizz you don't even know the meaning of. Why is that? You're no better than Dennis The Mennis here.
60
Perhaps, it is less about making women more like men, and more about "getting over" being women, which has been in the past and still is, to some extent, a serious impediment to full person-hood?

It would seem Mr. Dale that you like to hear yourself talk. Perhaps, that is how you assure yourself that you are amongst the living and not invisible? It wouldn't surprise me to learn that you think yourself funny, too. To me, you sound like my father, impressed with yourself, enchanted by your own "voice", and smugly secure in your position in society. Which is why I find your attempt to engage as being too full of hubris to create discussion, in my opinion. Less is more, and a bit of Proverbs 17:28 just might further your ability to engage others. Just my $0.02, you can disregard it.
61
"Impulsiveness, confabulatory verbosity, grandiosity are associated with right frontal [lobe] disturbances."*
That part of the frontal lobe is also the first thing to go in the prodromal phase of schizophrenia, which phase can last for YEARS (as evidenced by Jared Loughner). This phase is characterized by grandiose, nonsensical rants, and a loosening of the strings of logic.

There is also a frontal-lobe syndrome and a frontal lobe personality type for those who are not kindling away to schizophrenia. Loughner was clearly farther gone (I read all of his blog posts), but I do see the similarities here.

*http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10420…
62
Dannis the Menace thinks civil rights law is built on the premise that "American culture degrades and represses minorities and all groups are equally blessed with the host of human talents."

Are you fucking nuts? Civil rights law is built on the premise that equality needs to be explicitly protected because its absence permits injustice. Which the rest of us believe is immoral enough to prevent with the law.

63
@ Josh Bomb -- It's nice to see you haven't forgotten me, but I am not Dennis Dale. I find his writing to be just as pretentious and unreadable as most of you guys are saying. I also have no idea why a guy would waste the bully pulpit that is Slog by recycling old blog essays that were probably just as annoying the first time around.

@ Dennis Dale -- Just get to the point, dude. Too much prelude and not enough pop.
64
Ok now you've been schooled by Matt Luby. Time to gather the tattered shreds of dignity you have left and retire from the field. You'll be doing the livers of Slog's Commentariat a favor, because seriously, many of the livers here were pretty spongy to begin with, and all these shots are going to kill us.
65
Oh geez kim @ 60, I was saving "You probably think you are funny" as my reply for the next one... Still, I'm LOVING the coffee recipes, and I can always review the thesaurus for inspiration :D
66
@57: We used to go in the back room when it all got to be toooooo much and SLAM these puppies down. It gave us the will to go on.
67
Cynic Romantic.

An iced recipe, as it is summer in your neck of the woods, and as a peace offering. ;)

Iced Jamaican

Ingredients (1 oz = 30 ml):

1 oz dark rum
1 oz Tia Maria
3/4 oz heavy cream
4 oz chilled coffee
Crushed ice

Preparation:
Combine liqueurs, coffee and cream. Partially fill a wine glass with crushed ice, and pour mixture over ice. Serve.

Cheers!
68
This is more coherent than yesterday's post, but still difficult to read. (and yes, I skimmed it, again.)

I'm not going to address your writing skills; others have done so better than I.

I think your inherent problem is that you have a philosophy, and then seek out a situation that will exemplify it, to justify said philosophy. This is actually quite boring. What grabs audiences is when the author honestly immerses themselves into something new, and then gives a fresh perspective on it. You have a heavy world-view, and you're ready to slam it down on whatever is convenient. Today it's the WNBA, tomorrow it could be steampunk. This is about as exciting as crushing ants w/ bricks. Ho-hum, time wasted.
69
Less is more.
70
Kim_in_Portland @60 FTW.
71
@67, That sounds delicious.
72
"Chastened into enlightenment by yesterday's demands for brevity, coherence and, always, civility, I have decided on this relatively inoffensive post about sports, from last June, where it was originally published at my lonely outpost on the nether-net."

How the fuck are you showing that you are chastened enough to be brief??? We got punked a second time.
73
@48:

Search for "Dennis Dale" + VDare. You'll get over 6,500 hits.
74
Jesus, go back to jerking off over Atlas Shrugged.
75
Kim in Portland:

No peace offering required (you did me no wrong :) ), but the recipe is gratefully appreciated.

Has there ever been a Slog cookbook?
76
ok ..now.. though the post proper sucks donkey.. the the thread makes me think that 2011 is going to be just fine.
77
246 words to say -- 'You're all mean bastards for suggesting that my writing sucks.' Which it does. 246 words to say what 10 could have done well. Please, daughter, stop him. Do not encourage him. Next christmas give him a writing class.
78
Could barely get through the initial post, much less anything at ALL after the jump, but the comments make it worth it. Ten points to Luby for the schooling, hot damn.
79
What 68 said. Also, ALL advertising is base and manipulative (and often offensive). That is how it works; it tries to manipulate you to get you to buy basketball tickets. Why are you bothered so much by "basketball is basketball" in particular. I mean, I know you explained it. I just don't understand getting so worked up about it. If you don't accept their advertising premise, just don't watch the WNBA.

Also, I like men's basketball better too, but that doesn't mean the WNBA should not exist or that, in its infancy, it should not rely on the (tiny bit) of financial help from the NBA. Geez dude, sports are important to women and girls too. It's fun and healthy, who wouldn't want complete ACCESS to that in their life? Personally, I wouldn't want to take away a source of inspiration to young female athletes.

80
Wait, the guy who needs charity to get published thinks the WNBA gives women athletes an unfair hand-out? (I'm kind of skimming here.)

Slog is Slog, sister. Someone here is way out of their league.
81
25. Not to mention cultural differences between Blacks and Whites. I would go further and argue that the differences in athletic ability are IN NO WAY related to race per se, since there is no such thing (genetically-speaking). Differences in the size of the farm/feeder populations for a sport accounts for a lot, since it is all a statistics game if you are taking the tallest and fastest 1% of young basketball players, say. If the young basketball players coming up are mostly Black (due to cultural reasons), the NBA will be mostly black. Dennis seems to be conflating race and culture (although I'm not entirely sure).
82
81. 25. Not to mention cultural differences between Blacks and Whites. I would go further and argue that the differences in athletic ability are IN NO WAY related to race per se, since there is no such thing (genetically-speaking). . . . Dennis seems to be conflating race and culture (although I'm not entirely sure).

Ha. HAHAHA. No, I think Dale just observes that race exists in a more meaningful way than you think.

Dale, what the crap am I commenting here for? What have you done? Stop messing around in the sheep pen and get back in the house.
83
82. (You could leave 25 out of this; he's been pretty non-partisan.) OK, how does Mr. Dale think about race then? I am truly curious.

Also, I don't understand. Sorry, what was Mr. Dale doing in the sheep pen in the middle of the night? I'm a little confused by that comment.
84
@6: haha, indeed. That fascinating contradiction generated enough amusement to propel me at least three paragraphs further than I otherwise would have bothered. Sadly, in the end, he could've been as funny as Carlin and it still wouldn't have been worth the time.
85
Hey Roma, I'm sorry if that comment came across as sarcastic, this thread has been pretty caustic (to say the least) and I suppose I'm now just snapping my teeth at everyone. Anyway, here's Dale's post from yesterday: And Now a Little Something for the Ladie…. Dale's writing style is obtuse, but if you can bear to read through the whole thing, there are some real gems of misogyny and racism.
86
Oops, wrong thread, haha.
87
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son. But it sounds like it's too late for you.
88
Search for "Dennis Dale" + VDare. You'll get over 6,500 hits.

http://tinyurl.com/6ckfmen
91
@90: These are bare-faced White Nationalist retorts!