Hello, I Am Fat

Comments

1
Lindy I love you.
2
This is bullshit. I weighed 238 lbs on Jan 1st, and today I weigh 215. That's 23 lbs in 6 weeks (actually less than 6).

It wasn't even that hard. I quit beer (which I've broken like 3 times), I quit fried foods, I quit sweets, and I quit chips/snacks. etc. Then I went running every day (something I've never done in my life).

You can lose weight if you want. You just don't want to because you're lazy. I was like that until this year, and I was like "What the fuck, being fat is stupid."

You know what tastes better than doughnuts? Not being fat.
3
You're pretty awesome, Lindy.
4
Sing it, sister.
5
L-O-V-E. Love.
6
go Lindy go

Dan is a dick
7
I fucking love you Lindy.
8
Hey Lindy: I love you. Really, I do. Thanks for posting this.
9
Fat Acceptance is your problem, not anyone else's. Good for you on loving yourself, however it's not really your place to reject the arguments that being fat a) is unattractive to some, b) is bad for your health, and c) is part of an American epidemic that is driving health care costs through the roof. It is not your place to reject these arguments because a) is not your feeling to accept or reject, and b) and c) are objectively true. The net result of your rant is probably cathartic. Good for you. But "fat acceptance" ends with you. It is in your head - it will hopefully make you feel alright in your body and in your life. Nobody else need accept a fucking thing.
10
@ #2

How wonderful for you. How wonderful that this is YOUR experience.

Now, tell me - I work out five days a week, I don't drink beer, I don't eat fried food, and I have maybe one "sweet" a week. Why aren't I losing weight? Am I just not as awesome as you?

PS - fuck off.
11
Wowsers. You rule.
12
You are all kinds of awesome, Lindy. I love Dan, but you've so got him beat on this issue.
13
Hey you have nice ankles!
People who will shame fat people will shame practically anyone.
14
Damn, girl.
15
@ 2, but you don't know if she's eating chips, snacks, etc..besides, that's not the point. The point is exactly as put. It's her body, & the whole thinly veiled disgust that she's sensing/dealing with should be addressed.

@ Lindy, do you have a blog anywhere but here?

I so <3 you, it's not funny. BTW. In your other post (RE: Ban Fat Marriage), I slogged (ha) through the Savage Love archives to find examples of Dan talkin' 'bout obesity. (#79).

Great photo, Lindy, & cute shirt too.
16
Amen.
17
Yes, yes, a million times yes.

18
"Shame is a tool of oppression, not change."

hell to the fuck yeah!!!!
19
I'll be damned. Good for you!
20
You fuckin' rule.
21
Great post, Lindy. Don't let the asshats bring you down!
22
I love you Lindy! Just the way you are!
23
Lindy, thank you.

Thank you for being a voice for those who are too scared/shy/embarrassed to stand up for themselves.

Thank you for calling out the unfair prejudice people face due to their size/weight.

Thank you for being proud of who you are. I hope you continue to be an advocate for 'people of size' (I hate that term but it's better that 'fatties') and remind us that we should be able to come to terms and follow your example.

You are an inspiration. Thank you.
24
As a skinny gay man, I just have to say I think you're absolutely beautiful -- not that you needed any validation from me. Just sayin'.
25
lindy wins!
26
Lindy, you're just the best thing ever. Love this. Thanks.
27
Well said, Lindy!
28
@6 and Lindy ftw

Dan for the epic fail.
29
I feel like I need to lose some weight but thanks for making me feel better, not because I agree with you that it is ok to be morbidly obese, but because I realized that I am 6 inches taller than you and weigh far less. I feel good about myself by comparison to your fat ass and that is a great way to start the weekend.

p.s. you can easily lose weight by not eating so god damn much and getting some exercise, you just have to decide to do it like quitting smoking.
30
Amen Lindy. I wish I could have read this post when I was in grades 5-9. I used cry almost every day in the shower. My mom threatened to take me to a therapist (the family couldn't afford). All because people called me "bubble butt"
31
Bravo Lindy!
32
@2 Let's check in with you in about a year. Thanks. ha ha! Why do you think people call it a roller coaster? Guaranteed you will weigh more than you started out before you lost... Ok yeah it can be done, but, it is really rare to keep it off.

I love how skinny people think fat is lack-of-will and how ripped muscular people think skinny is unmotivated and how heteros think that gay is a choice. And the world goes round... ( : =
33
you're going to have to pay me overtime (in Doritos!!!!!)


har!
34
Bra-fucking-vo.

I already knew you were awesome, and taking on your boss for his hypocrisy just makes you that much more awesome. Are you taking applications for best friend?
35
Yet somehow all these fatties didn't exist to console each other in their fatness until we started getting stuffed with processed foods and sugary shit.

There is absolutely no way 5'9" 263lbs is acceptable and this is a classic example of not thinking you can fix it because you don't know how to fix it.

Here is a tip: stop reviewing burger joints!
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/uneed…

U certainly didn't "needa" burger.

"Oh, and also, aside from the chocolate milk shake (AWESOME, even though it was technically a black-and-white, which I usually do NOT condone), everything else was kind of legit gross. Onion rings ($4) were battered so thickly they resembled Krispy Kreme doughnuts with a fryer-fat glaze of visible grease. And a small Cobb salad ($5)—despite a promising abundance of hard-boiled egg—was weirdly both sweet and bitter, with a dressing reminiscent of frozen Minute Maid lemonade concentrate. We picked out the bacon and left the rest. But you know what? Guess how much I cared? Zero. Zero much. I am smitten with another."

Gross.
36
@ 9 - Being too fat is unhealthy. But you make other people not finding it attractive problem #1 on your list. It is totally anyone's place to give to not give a damn whether you find them attractive or not. What an egotistical bastard you must be.

All the other things folks have said about fat on this blog in the past 48 hours - wahh! I'm touching a fat body on an airplane! wahh! Looking at fat people is icky! - is self-absorbed bullshit.

The health problems of obesity are worth discussing in a serious, non neener neener fatty, kinda way. But part of living in the world is occasionally seeing & being put into contact with people you wouldn't have chosen to. Grow up.
37
@15
Look, I love Lindy as much as anyone, she is 95% the reason I come to this site (the rest being Mudede).

My point is: you don't get to say "Being fat is like being gay" when in reality you have complete control over being fat.

PS @10 You are clearly not as awesome as I am. What a dumb question. Also, I won't fuck off because this is the internet, silly!
38
@29:

That was harsh, and says more about you than it does about her.
39
Hey # 2: Let's meet up in six months and see what you weigh. Losing weigh, easy. Keeping weigh off? Hard.
40
I love and respect your courage. Not to mention I envy your curves, too.

Best wishes, Lindy!
41
Lindy, my entire life would be different if my family had encouraged me to feel this way. It doesn't matter that they didn't, because I figured that shit out. And I am THRILLED that you have, too. And now, BECAUSE OF YOU, other people will, too. Rock it, girl.
42
And today is the day that Lindy West totally pwn'd her boss. (And the day she made me use the word "pwn" - I can't forgive her for that.)

You rock, Lindy.
43
Lindy West is a total babe.
44
lindy i'd wreck you in bed any day of the week

<3 a loyal reader
45
Lindy West, I stand and applaud you. Well done, lady.
46
You're a great writer, Lindy, but I'm going to disagree with you.

It is not paternalistic, antrho-chauvo-swinocentric, or anything else to find rolls of fat unsightly. Most people feel this way, in the same way that most people find open sores unsightly. Maybe they're wrong to do so. But it is, bottom line, a statement of fact (inasmuch as a "fact" for a word like "unsightly" is inherently subjective).

Be fat. Enjoy it. Awesome! It's going to be downright attractive to some people, especially with your intelligence and personality. But the rest of us have no obligation to pretend to find fat people attractive when, in fact, we do not. It is unfortunate that there is social pressure on children to conform to fitness norms... in the same way it is unfortunate that there is social pressure to brush your hair and teeth.

And please wait to compare fat people to gays until you aren't allowed to marry. Most gay people don't care if some jerk in Alabama thinks they're going to hell. Gay rights are about equal protections under the law, not muzzling people who find homosexuality offensive. I hope the number of people who feel that way declines over time, just as I genuinely hope the number of people who find fat people to be unattractive declines. But in the meantime, I would never presume to tell those people that they can't speak their honest mind because it violates our right to approval.
47
This is very fine work, and true all the way through.
48
Love, love, love you Lindy.
And someone might want to mention to Dan that sometimes it isn't about the gay, it's about the jerk.
49
This is awesome. Thanks for writing and posting this Ms. West.
51
Thank you for writing this. You have no idea how much it means. I love Slog, but the "fat is ewwwww" thing gets really old.
50
Hi Lindy. Thanks for posting this. You look so cute in that picture!

Although I am not fat, there is a part of me in my brain that tells me I'm fat every single day. Guess what? Sometimes it wins and I feel like a piece of shit. And sometimes the old bulimia comes back.

Guess what else? Sometimes there are affirming voices like yours that say "No, you're fine. Go do what you're good at and wear clothes you like, regardless of the number on the tag. Be like Lindy West, who does what she is good at (making jokes! eating burgers! whatever).

So thanks again.
52
Seriously. I adore and admire you.

And yeah, there does need to be more of a FUCK OFF approach to dealing with the trolls (and Dan, whom I love). It is too easy to loose sight of the point (dignity and joy) and get caught arguing on their terms. You are my favorite. Hands down. My boyfriend and I read your reviews aloud to each other as soon as you post them. And although I'm sure the shitstorm will be kind of heartbreaking, at least for me, thank you so much for going for it. Seriously. Really admirable. Really impressive. And very kind. Wow.
53
You're right. Dan's wrong.Thanks for speaking up.
54
I'm both fat and lazy, so I probably shouldn't open my mouth. But DAMN you are lookin hot in that photo. Just sayin. Life is too fucking short to worry about other people talking shit.
55
Piling on. This is the best post on Slog. EVER.
56
Sorry, @2 / 37 -- Lindy already won this one.
57
Yet somehow all these fatties didn't exist to console each other in their fatness until we started getting stuffed with processed foods and sugary shit.

There is absolutely no way 5'9" 263lbs is acceptable and this is a classic example of not thinking you can fix it because you don't know how to fix it.

Here is a tip: stop reviewing burger joints!
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/uneed…

"U" certainly didn't "needa" burger.

"Oh, and also, aside from the chocolate milk shake (AWESOME, even though it was technically a black-and-white, which I usually do NOT condone), everything else was kind of legit gross. Onion rings ($4) were battered so thickly they resembled Krispy Kreme doughnuts with a fryer-fat glaze of visible grease. And a small Cobb salad ($5)—despite a promising abundance of hard-boiled egg—was weirdly both sweet and bitter, with a dressing reminiscent of frozen Minute Maid lemonade concentrate. We picked out the bacon and left the rest. But you know what? Guess how much I cared? Zero. Zero much. I am smitten with another."

Gross.
58
Lindy, you've got balls. Love it! Also, I think you look put-together and amazing! This was fantastic.

I'm a regular reader (and almost-never commenter) and Dan's posts drive me crazy, but I chalk them up to him needing to grow up a little and having insecurities about himself and his own appearance. That doesn't make it right, though, and I find it alienating as a reader.
59
God Lindy, THANK YOU. Just thank you.
60
Lindy, you rule.
61
Note to Ms. West: KUDOS TO YOU and BALLS TO DAN SAVAGE!!! Your writing usually annoys the hell out of me but this nearly brought me to tears. As a gay man on the larger side of HWP I struggle with the same issues and unfortunately haven't empowered myself to give up the impossible high-standards set by the media and body-fascist queens like Savage. This gives me hope and heart. Thanks!
62
Ditto to all the love for you, Lindy, plus -- you're way funnier than Dan.
63
Lindy - I didn't want to bother you on Sunday night at the Sasquatch Launch Party, (mostly because I don't know you) but if I did it would have been to say that your dress was aweseome and you wore it beautifully.
64
All the haters are missing the point - whether "being fat is a choice" or not, it's no ones fucking business what other people put in their bodies. Whether it's cake in your mouth or a cock in your ass, it's no one else's place to give a shit one way or another. DUH. By the way, I am not fat, though at 125 lbs I am frequently made to feel that way.
65
That was phenomenal.
66
Sock it to 'im, sister! For an encore can you get him to shut up about pitbulls already?

@46 It was Dan that started the gay-fat comparison, yo.
67
THANK YOU.
68
Lindy hasn't responded, but don't worry. She's busy downing a huge burger, some onion rings, a milkshake, and an order of fries. Once she finishes she'll be back to comment on why she has tried and failed to lose weight.
69
Beautiful. In body and spirit.

To me, it's like safe sex. Once the public service message is out there about healthy eating, everyone should just pay attention to their own bodies, and not judge other people for theirs.

70
Dear Lindy: You are rad and awesome and hot and smart. A big "FUCK YEAH" to you!

And a big "FUCK YOU" to #2, #29 and especially #46, and anyone else missing the point. SERIOUSLY: OPEN SORES?! I call insane troll logic.
71
Man Lindy, I only kinda like your movie reviews, but that shit is amazing and I'm forwarding it to all my friends. Thank You.
72
@36: >> But you make other people not finding it attractive problem #1 on your list.

Not my ordering. It was a direct response to the OP's 1/2/3/4 list. I didn't address 4, but #1 was shaming someone for daring to say that rolls of exposed flesh was "unsightly." Tough shit if that hurts Lindy's feelings -- that's something that turns that person off, and she's gotta deal.

>>But part of living in the world is occasionally seeing & being put into contact with people you wouldn't have chosen to. Grow up.

Yeah, people like those who say "ewwww." When it comes to attraction, fat non-acceptance is exactly as valid as fat acceptance. The important battle that overweight people should be fighting is the one against themselves -- their self-talk, their self-hatred. That's the utility in "fat acceptance." The outward-pointing rage? That can fuck right off. Being fat is not rocket science: barring the very slim (lol) minority with thyroid/medical problems, it's a matter of caloric imbalance, brought on by impulsive eating habits and their lack of activity. It isn't anyone else's problem. This is the woman who reviews burger joints and eats beef served between two halves of a Krispy Kreme donut. I doubt very much that "sorry I reject your ewwww" is a more defensible denial of someone's right to be who they are than someone's preference not to witness exposed flesh rolls. It might feel good to pretend that it is, but it is valid to be repulsed if that is their reaction.
73
@36: >> But you make other people not finding it attractive problem #1 on your list.

Not my ordering. It was a direct response to the OP's 1/2/3/4 list. I didn't address 4, but #1 was shaming someone for daring to say that rolls of exposed flesh was "unsightly." Tough shit if that hurts Lindy's feelings -- that's something that turns that person off, and she's gotta deal.

>>But part of living in the world is occasionally seeing & being put into contact with people you wouldn't have chosen to. Grow up.

Yeah, people like those who say "ewwww." When it comes to attraction, fat non-acceptance is exactly as valid as fat acceptance. The important battle that overweight people should be fighting is the one against themselves -- their self-talk, their self-hatred. That's the utility in "fat acceptance." The outward-pointing rage? That can fuck right off. Being fat is not rocket science: barring the very slim (lol) minority with thyroid/medical problems, it's a matter of caloric imbalance, brought on by impulsive eating habits and their lack of activity. It isn't anyone else's problem. This is the woman who reviews burger joints and eats beef served between two halves of a Krispy Kreme donut. I doubt very much that "sorry I reject your ewwww" is a more defensible denial of someone's right to be who they are than someone's preference not to witness exposed flesh rolls. It might feel good to pretend that it is, but it is valid to be repulsed if that is their reaction.
74
Lindy, I know I said thanks for your post yesterday, but I want to say it again now.

Thank you. So much.
75
@10: Thx dude. 2 sucks.

Lindy, I am so glad you posted this.
76
i love love love that you wrote this. thank you.
lindy, you are an inspiration. and hella hot.
77
I keep on trying to think of something pithy to say, but I'll just say this:

1. Awesome, awesome post.
2. You are a very beautiful woman.
78
great. like all i needed was a reason to love lindy west a little more.

great post.
79
lindy - i didn't think i can love you more than i already did. in fact, my husband has always been pretty jealous of how much i have loved the words you put on the page. but now i really want you to be my imaginary girlfriend <3
80
Lindy is right, Dan is wrong. I'm forwarding this to my little sister who is struggles with her weight. I hope it will help her know that it gets better.
81
Lindy,

You are beautiful.
82
You only need two words when someone rags on you for your body shape:

1) Fuck

2) Off
83
i don't care if you are fat. just keep your fat in your own airplane/bus/movie theater seat or buy two.

i am skinny and i want that space. it's mine and i paid for it and your matronly, batwing upper arm rolls need to stay on your side of the armrest. if you want more space either lose some density or buy a second seat.

you do that and you can be as fat as you want, i don't care deal?

also, perhaps your mental health would be better if you didn't have to spend all your time coming up with excuses as to why you are happy being fat. your health - and my insurance premiums - will only get better if you put down the krisy kremes. that's a fact.

but again, if you want to be fat, go for it. that's your business.

(i do, however, agree that "rolls of exposed flesh are unsightly" is totally NOT a fact and any idiot who writes a column dedicated to sexual fetishes should know that...)
84
Well said.

I don't think we have an obesity epidemic as much as we have a poor health problem. People do not get enough exercise, or eat the right foods, or take care of themselves. Sure some of those people are fat, but a lot are thin. Focusing on weight as the issue misses the point that it is not really how much someone weighs that matters, but their overall level of health.

But when it gets right down to it, while we can help people make better choices or address how areas of low socio-economic status tend to be less walkable and have fewer parks, sometimes people want to make the choices they do and thats their right.

I mean what business of mine why someone weighs what they do. If they really like food and find it a fine trade off, good for them! If they just have a naturally larger body, good for them! I'm bit on the heavy side myself from a combination of those two things. I'll never be thin, but I also know that I certainly do not always eat a healthy diet and could stand a bit more exercise.

85
You? Are a shero for writing this. Just AMAZING.
86
i don't care if you are fat. just keep your fat in your own airplane/bus/movie theater seat or buy two.

i am skinny and i want that space. it's mine and i paid for it and your matronly, batwing upper arm rolls need to stay on your side of the armrest. if you want more space either lose some density or buy a second seat.

you do that and you can be as fat as you want, i don't care deal?

also, perhaps your mental health would be better if you didn't have to spend all your time coming up with excuses as to why you are happy being fat. your health - and my insurance premiums - will only get better if you put down the krisy kremes. that's a fact.

but again, if you want to be fat, go for it. that's your business.

(i do, however, agree that "rolls of exposed flesh are unsightly" is totally NOT a fact and any idiot who writes a column dedicated to sexual fetishes should know that...)
87
I thought this was going to be a review of "Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son"..
88
Fuckin'-A Lindy.

Loved the line: "My brain rides around in it all day and comes up with funny jokes."
89
Lindy, you are amazing. How did you get inside my head? How many times have I caught myself thinking "when I'm thinner, I'll be able to xyz." It's all bullshit.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for putting this into words, in a way I never could. Let me say it again: you are AMAZING.
90
Thank you for posting, Lindy. Every fucking word is perfect.
91
My roommate and I are the same size. She works out for an hour everyday (I walk to and from work...does that count?) and eats much healthier than I do.

When I swam for two hours almost everyday, I was only one size smaller than I am when I don't exercise at all.

Human variation, genes, etcetera. Small sample size, yes. But it's enough to remind me not to judge others' sizes.
92
My daughter says things about weight that trouble me. She's 8, and worried about her outward appearance. She eats healthy food, and gets exercise, and I tell her that as long as she's healthy, that's what matters, not what her size is.

I'm going to have her read this tonight. Thank you, Lindy.
93
@64 and it's nobody's business what comes out of anyone elses mouth either, be it fat bashing or fat defending. We can put what we want in our mouths and we can also talk shit about fat people. remember 3rd grade a la "It's a free country!" ?
94
xoxoxoxoxooxxoxooxx to you lindy
95
Wow! Can I just add that, though I love Dan's work, I've often felt that he had a big blind spot in this regard. And you really, really nailed him on it. Dan's such a strong voice for acceptance and understanding in so many areas, but I'd been feeling for a while that his hypocrisy on this matter might just "ruin" him for me.

None of us are perfect. There is no such thing as a perfect state of grace in terms of being accepting of all. We all seem to have an irrational "ewwwwww" or two in us. Maybe your post will help Dan get over his moralistic loathing of fat? I sure hope so.

And one more vote in the 'Lindy is Foxy' column, please?
96
Well said.
97
Lindy, I have not always liked your writing--I have often not liked your writing--but you won 100% of my support with this. This eloquently states why Dan, @2, society, et al, are full of fucking bullshit. This is exactly what I've wanted to say for a long time. Thank you.
98
and one more thing: you're GORGEOUS!
99
That's not so much a picture of your body, Ms. West, as it is of your dress. Where's the bikini shot?
100
Rock it, Lindy!