Today in Anonymous Job Interview Tips

Comments

1
I have no idea what this guy is going on about, but is a 3-piece suit really standard for 'business attire'?
2
A person can't be faulted for having gray hair.
3
What's GRAY HAIR in a ponytail have to do with anything, you fucking ageist sack of shit asshole bitch fuck? (the anonymous poster, I mean.)
4
So is emotionally charged third-party communication such as this considered professionalism?
5
Ugh. What a clam.
6
@1 maybe on the east coast ...
7
Oh pishah, these are legitimate tips. Can't believe that in this economy you have to say these things out loud, but I guess you do.

* My add is this: When you are asked: what is your communication style, don't answer, "Oh I get along great with everyone, except maybe people from Chicago." Cause you know, some of us are, ahem, from Chicago.
8
Gray hair in a ponytail + work-appropriate attire = "I understand the rules we all play by, but I'm also cool and creative."

Gray hair in a ponytail + ripped jeans + farting long and loud in a meeting = "Hey, I did you a favor coming in to work today. You don't expect to *bathe*, too?"
9
@1,

It's presumably a woman since she mentions having breasts. Or, I guess it could be a guy claiming to have an impressive set of manboobs.

Most of this is a big, fat yawn. Boohoo, lots of people think they're good enough for a job that's way beyond their qualifications. Finding the right person for a job is difficult. Life sucks. Get over it.
10
@7 First, not all are legitimate tips. Some are dictated by the author's mores and own values. Of course, these types of things can also be regional or industry/employer-dependent.

"Can't believe that in this economy you have to say these things out loud, but I guess you do."

That's the thing: you don't. This is a rude way of putting what all the interview/job self-help books/blogs say already. It adds nothing new to the conversation but helps the author avert the responsibility of processing their own shit while s/he displaces that shit onto others in a public forum. Yay for us.
11
Somebody went a nice little power trip with this one. I hope they enjoyed it.
12
Grey ponytail, boobs and crocs. I swear I worked with that guy once.
13
I do agree on the flipflops and crocs tho.
14
This advice is only really applicable in about 30% of the white collar jobs in the PNW. We have given jobs to SDETs wearing dragon t-shirts and sweatpants and they likely make more than this bitch.
15
What I want to know is why she took these so personally. Someone else's resume or unprofessional attire never got me that upset.

Take a deep breath and then maybe reconsider working in Human Resources.
16
@10,

Exactly.

Anonymous claims that you have to dress up for an interview even at Subway, which is complete and total bullshit. Dressing too formally at a business-casual (or just plain casual) job can hurt your chances almost as much as being overqualified. Employers are looking for someone who can fit into the company's culture, and overdressing can make it seem like your expectations are too high.
17
Also, I know from experience that it can be gross and frustrating to work with someone who has poor personal hygiene or other disgusting habits, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they're bad at their jobs. And I've never seen someone fired for farting at inappropriate times.
18
I saw Will in Seattle and he was wearing Croc flip flops.
19
"Come to heel you uneducated peasants! You anger me in your ignorance, which was designed by my corporate masters' undermining of public education! But still! HEEL! HEEL I SAY OR NO JOB FOR YOU!"
20
Nobody wears three-piece suits outside of Hollywood or white-shoe law firms. Not even on the East Coast. It's a shame, really; the vest can really add something.
21
Confidential to I,Amanass writer: I wouldn't want YOU working in my outfit either. Protip: if you are originating or propagating derogatory nicknames for co-workers or subordinates, especially sexually suggestive ones like "Hooker Grandma," or gossiping about the supposed cocksucking prowess of Jason in Accounting (whether he himself has bragged about it in the workplace or not), you are a liability for your employer.

The Stranger folks are in the rare position of having sexual topics and profanity a regular and EXPECTED part of their workday, but even they have to be careful about interpersonal relations if they don't wanna get the shit sued out of them.
22
For once, Fnarf and I agree on vests.
23
Haha! Now this is what IAnonymous was made for. Please stop posting depressing stories about abused people in doomed relationships and use crazy rants like this instead.
24
@16 I don't know why they're getting temps in from Kelly for a subway shop position. That seems...silly?
25
Three piece is not standard business attire. Two-piece is. That said, a good three-piece suit is classy as hell.
26
@22 You two have had previous disagreements about vests?
27
I gotta agree about most of this! Once, when I was interviewing a young man, I asked if he was really interested in working at that particular place of business. He answered, "Well, like, if I can't find anything else, I guess."

Also, I will never forget when I received a woman's resume for the 4th time in 2 weeks... three pages of weird random information, with a misspelling in every line. I circled the misspellings on the third copy and wrote her a little note suggesting that she fix them. C'mon people... spelling things wrong doesn't improve your chances at all.
28
@26 Close: faux-turtlenecks vs. turtlenecks or something.
29
I work in flipflops on a daily basis, and haven't had a collar (much less a tie) touch my neck in years. I wouldn't consider a job that had it any other way.
30
@29: Cabana boy?
31
@29, you're a lifeguard, a barback/bartender at a gay bar, or work-at-home/self-employed/high-priced consultant?
32
Welcome to I, Anonymous, everyone.
33
@26 well, Fnarf does think that 3 piece suits are suitable attire for a Tunnel sacrifice of Natives, whereas I believe that you have to either go Voodoo priestly garb or do the whole Native tribal dark shaman trip, but that the vest can only be done if you're going for the Voodoo ritual.
34
@24,

I think the writer was just using Subway as an example of a job interview you should dress up for, operating under the (false) assumption that you should dress up for all job interviews. It sounds like she works in a business casual environment and gets easily pissed off at some people's definition of casual.
35
I think 3 piece suit does not mean what this person thinks it means (maybe they think it means pants + jacket + tie?). In 99% of business situations, if someone under the age of 75 wore a 3 piece suit, I would be more inclined to think they were strange than to be impressed.
36
@35: Harrumph! It is clear that you modern Millies respect neither tradition nor your elders! No tweed corset for you, I'll be bound, jezebel!
37
Anonny forgot about the spats, hat, and gloves. Good heavens, are we farmers?
38
I have a three piece suit that I'm rather fond of. I've only worn it to funerals, weddings, and the like, though. Never to a job interview.
I also have these cufflinks that I love, but almost never have a good excuse to wear.
39
Boobcrack has gotten me every job I've ever had.
40
I like to wear my black crocs to interviews. They're my dress-up crocs.
41
Tell ya what, when you're a woman working in sales, a little cleavage can go a long way. Just sayin'.
42
Seems to be asking a lot for a job that probably doesn't pay more than $10/hr and no benefits.
Just saying.
43
Thank you, reading this has made me realize how much I don't want anything to do with anyone who associates themselves in this fashion.

"I see here from your resume that you've had 12 fucking jobs in the last 4 years."

WELCOME TO REALITY ASSHOLE. FUCKING SUCKS DON'T IT? Yes, this is always the fault of the worker, bad bad bad worker, jumping from job to job like you have no ties to the company you just read about 2 second ago. It's because they want someone who's sucking on the tit of the business they represent. If you can't prove you suck hard enough tit, you're not useful in society anymore. FUCK YOU.

I'm going to take my education to a country that treats me like a human being, work a job that doesn't treat me like a monkey, and I'm going to have enough land to grow my own food. I'm getting the feeling like the only way to experience this is to be a hermit and shoot at anything that moves on my property in a country that still refuses to participate in wars. This is not my country.
44
God commenters, Anonymous wasn't talking about one person for the entire post. That's why there are five headings.

@43, take your ball and go play by yourself, then. 12 jobs in 4 years IS ridiculous. If you don't want to create ties at a workplace, don't want to "suck tit," then go start your pot plantation or whatever. Plenty of people are looking for a job where they can development a good symbiotic relationship with their employer, do a good job and be rewarded for it, and are willing to work through issues and stay longer than three fucking months. I guess if you've only worked retail and fast food you wouldn't understand that.

Someone applying for a job should list previous experience as it relates to the job they're applying for. No one should list twelve jobs no matter how frequently they changed positions. Addressing why someone skips out every twelve weeks is a conversation for the interview, but they have to get the interview first.
45
@43, I was totally with you until you said you were going to have enough land to grow your own food. And then again after that.
46
Shorter job interview tips: assume the person interviewing you has a bunch of ignorant, bigoted middle-class assumptions, dress and behave accordingly.
47
RE: 43: I had no idea they let Ted Kaczynski out of jail. Early probation for good behavior, I assume.
48
@44 God commenter, we get that. Still doesn't excuse masturbatory logorrhea.
49
@44 you aren't going to point out that 12 jobs in 4 years is not a job every 12 weeks?

I mean, I know it's what the original person said but I figured we were all capable of math here.
50
If you're track record says you can't stick with a job for 17 weeks, why would I want to hire you?