I'd tell you, but I'd have to post your naked pics on the Internet and since you don't have 100Gbps like South Korea, that wouldn't do much good.

ehh...i totally get the frustration with the TSA - i travel a lot, too...but unless the TSA agents as individuals are being particularly and uniformly dickish in their implementation of the rules, i think this restaurant owner's anger is misplaced. those poor saps are just trying to earn a living (unless, of course, the individuals are being jerks about it).

What a childish response. I hate the TSA as much as anyone, but my objections have to do with their policies, not the people tasked with enforcing those policies. They aren't a "kind," they're just people trying to make a living in a still-shitty economy.

Blame fail.

What a stupid policy. It's not the TSA agent's fault that they are required to participate in security theatre.

Typical American lack of reasoning.

@4: "typical?" Tell that to 1, 2, and 3.

Cafe Apocrypha, I fear.

I think people who rag relentlessly on the TSA must not fly very much, because my twice a month trips through Sea-Tac's security line are always very quick and non-memorable. Other than the shoe and liquid thing...it doesn't seem all that different than the pre-terrorist freakout era.

Remember, after 9/11, when we were all grateful for the TSA? Those were the days.

That's like refusing to serve postal workers because you don't like that they deliver junk mail to you.

Nice to know there's a lot of backup for the "I was just following orders" defense.

I am sure the TSA agents were thrilled that their job descriptions suddenly included ball wrangler duties.

@10: TSA screenings, as irritating as they are, aren't exactly war crimes.

@10...yes, let's be really dickish and compare the TSA to war criminals. Your perspective circuit has totally burned out.

@8, grateful for what? For letting them through with box cutters?

Remember that no TSA agent has ever stopped a terrorist act. Never caught a terrorist. Not one.

They do however deliberately harm the health of everyone who goes through their idiotic, worthless full-body scanners, though.

Fuck the TSA. Fuck "Customs and Border Protection" while you're at it, too. Don't think I'll be forgetting how you made us miss that plane earlier this month, asswipes.

@10: You're a jackass.

I think that in some places, the TSA have power issues and enjoy being dicks. Salt Lake City comes to mind. I've gotten in and out of Seattle and Portland and many other cities without issue. In Salt Lake? They even felt up my fucking cat.
Another great Bush legacy. Ironically I feel much safer flying in Europe than I do the U.S., where they have just as much security - if not more - yet it does not infringe on your dignity or privacy (or genitals!) on a regular basis. But then there's Africa, where they just point M-16's at you the whole time....

I'm with @6—sounds fake.

@13,

He never had one.

@12, 13 - Not war criminals, no, but would "government-sponsored child gropers" be an acceptable phrase?

Look, the thing is anyone with any real counter-terrorism, explosives, or airplane security knowledge knows that the TSA screening is, was, and continues to be a Kubuki farce.

One that we pay for in decreased tourism, higher costs, and our inability to invest in American high speed passenger and freight rail.

Ironically, the mythical restaurant staff members apparently are being forced to act like jerks by their boss, just like (some of) the TSA agents are acting like jerks while following the directives of their boss...

@14 for the Obvious Take Home Message win. Damn, Fnarf again ...

@6 I hear they have an AMAZING happy hour, but can't find anyone who has personally tried it.

There's an increasingly adversarial relationship between TSA and the public. It may be that agents are just doing their jobs, but the rest of us are just doing our jobs when we fly. The purported restaurant's policy is childish and will do little good, but I can totally get wanting to have nothing to do with the people who implement the inane policies that make traveling so unpleasant.

I fly a lot and I've never had any gripe about a TSA agent. But the whole process is stupidly ineffective. The teabaggers should slash that budget.

@23, yes! Unbelievable drink specials, and appetizers you literally can't find anywhere.

Cafe Apocrypha's menu is delightfully unorthodox and certainly expansive. This is the place to go to find what others leave out.

You're going to be in purgatory earning nickels faster than you think if you keep that up, gus dear....

10 is right on. fuck em.

@ 14, how do you know? (Also, there was no TSA on 9/11...)

@15: Guilty.

Of course there's more than one group to blame for the current state of things. The government for mandating our security theater, the TSA for implementing it, and crucially the public for accepting it. But honestly now, isn't shaming those that participate in dehumanizing activities of their own free will the proper liberal thing to do?

Of course, a more effective tactic would be to stop all that flying, but that would entail sacrifice and inconvenience.

This reminds me of the tale of Bill Sianis, original owner of the Billy Goat Tavern on West Madison Street in Chicago. One year, the Republicans were having their national convention at the Stadium (across the street from the original Billy Goat) and Sianis put a sign in his window saying "No Republicans Served Here." Then he got it in the papers, and irate Republicans came in demanding service--and he happily sold them all the beer, booze and food they could handle. They only came in because he said he wouldn't serve them.

Could this just be a ploy to get TSA agents to come spend their money there? Nah. But it never hurts to tell a good story.

Canuck, I'm going to assume you mean by your comment that I'll be earning nickels at a faster rate than ever I'd dreamed of...how wonderful!

Jeez, clearly, OuterCow is a cuddly panda bear, not a jackass (unless you meant democrat...)

Chicago Fan, your Irish is showing... :)

The TSA is a joke. The porno scanners are more likely the result of some skilled lobbying by the manufacture rather than a real attempt to keep us safe. And where is the probable cause for seeing my wang?

This restaurant's policy is an unserious reaction to an unserious government agency/policy.

P.S. Canuck, since no one seems to have seen it in the Broadway comment thread from earlier, I know you'll be delighted: NYT's Artsbeat blog ran a bit this morning that CBS--a national broadcast network at last!-- is going to run a Public Service Announcement for IGBP produced by the marketing team/cast of the new Broadway production of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, with Dan and Terry's permission. Story and the clip are here - enjoy:
http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/0…

gus, in purgatory, there will be an endless supply of nickels, all jangling in the pockets of Sergio Ramos and Colin Firth, who will keep running to the back of the line. Try to avoid catching colds, you're going to want to avoid the dreaded stuffy nose...

(I really hope you don't end up in purgatory soon, despite the anticipation you're feeling... :(

I guess as a gay man I now face a choice between a career that indulges my innate need to molest straight men and little kids and not being able to eat at the trendiest cafes! A gay monster's very own Sofie's choice?!

@2 et al - Just because they're only doing their job handing out towels at the showers doesn't mean they aren't responsible for their actions.

Oh gus, thank you! I never would have seen that...oooo, Priscilla! Loved, loved it in London, my youngest, who was 13 at the time, pretended to be horrified by the pingpong balls, but you could tell he was so tickled. I'm sure the new Felicia is great, but I'll always have a soft spot for Oliver Thornton. IGBP is turning into an amazing legacy.

Good point, @21

@9 FTW!

@4 - Fuck that argument. The War on Terror (tm) is not a fucking jobs program.

The TSA is a joke. I fly every week and have often done a little comparison of how long it takes one to notice things like a 5-hour energy in my purse (never, so far, 17 weeks in a row now), a small cheese spreader knife (made it thru 3 times before being spotted). I have had aquaintances put pot in their underwear and get the second base pat down on two seperate occasions and not had any trouble.

I can also say that while they are NOT finding these objects on people, they sure do enjoy finding dildos in ones checked luggage, opening the sock it is contained in, wrapping it in their TSA 'we checked your luggage' flyer, replacing it in the sock and putting it back in my bag. and even though they had time to do all that, no one has had the time to respond to my complaints about said incident, other than a form email reply.

@45 too late. TSA stands for Totally Stumbling Around.

@48 you might want to sanitize it to make sure it has no Santorum left from them using it.

LukeJoe @ 41 That made me snort.

@36 Oh, I best be stepping up my Obama-hating, Democrats are nothing but Republican-lite rhetoric if you can still peg me for a Dem, Canuck! Oh no no no, this cat is a full on loud and proud Socialist, baby.

@51 - no, I embrace the power of AND.

I choose to discriminate against those who choose to work as TSA agents AND productively protest the larger picture.

AWESOME! I would throw out people who choose to work for credit card companies, spammers and other jackasses who knowingly keep working for the fuckheads that screw our lives over.

Sigh, Democrats were still worthy politicians when I left the shining shores of Massachusetts 24 years ago, OuterCow, I do tend to forget they are now Diet Coke to Coke...and as a Socialist, you are, of course, welcome to dine chez Canuck any night of the week (I hope you can hold your lickuh...)

Not to derail this thread, but what if the restauranteur decided not to serve Catholic priests or lay ministers because he had been molested as a child by a friar? Sure, some folks that aren't child rapists will be unfairly put out, but they are part of an organization that apparently has a policy of raping children. How else can one business owner effect change?

@ 53: Yet another reason to like you, Outercow.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__pEh6hs-…

@56: That must be some powerful nostalgia Canuck, if I can slide a "…you can still peg me…" by ya w/o comment. The Dems must have really been something once... ya know I actually grew up thinking Clinton was a liberal? But I very much appreciate the offer, and while I most certainly cannot hold my gin, oh how I do love trying.

@58: You always know how to make me blush, Kim. Have a great time in Italy, btw. Of late I've been obsessed with The History of Rome Podcast so I've been spending a lot of headspace there, it'll be nice to get some vicarious boots on the ground.

@61 Double Doh!!! (slaps forehead...)

What a bunch of narcissistic assholes.

Wow! Seriously this cafe is amazingly STUPID! First of all, you can't say that a whole government agency is to blame for something you don't like. TSA agents are just trying to earn a living just as you and other people are! They do what they are told to do. Secondly, people are focused to much on this studpid new scanner and new pat-downs more then needed. The scanners are not harming to you, kids or your animals and you won't even have to have a pat down if you walk through a scanner that someone (who is highly screened and has got a FULL background check done) will see you for about a minute or less that you are never going to see anyway. There was a comment made earlier by someone and I don't even want to look back to see the number about remembering the days when we felt safe that TSA was created after 9/11. Do people not remember that day. Would you rather have the plane that you are on blow up or crash into an important building or any building for that matter? Seriously people??? I haven't gone into the cafe or any place for that matter and blamed the whole place on one bad thing I ate or drank there? Or a person I didn't like who was working there. Just like someone else said do you hate the mailman for bringing you bills or junk mail? People are thinking coreectly about this issue and it gets frustering!!!!!

Excuse me, I meant NOT thinking correctly about his issue and it gets frusterating!!!!!

I don't know why you people are bothering with a debate about a story that was OBVIOUSLY made-up. What's the name of the restaurant? Why cite the name of an employee and not the owner? Why talk to a "blogger" on a supposed consumer-advocate website and not the eager local media for a story like this?

The fact of the matter is that not that many people give a turd about the TSA, and that bothers those people who do give a turd about the TSA more than anything else.

@61: Will do, Outercow. It will be later this year, but we will be based in Rome.

@65: "TSA agents are just following orders/making a living". Okay. Fair enough. And that resauranteur is just protesting their employer using the most effective method at his disposal.

"The scanners aren't harming you." The point of people's objection to them is that nobody has actually proven this statement to be true.

"highly screened". Have you seen the TSA's hiring policies? Seems like you should have if you're that sure.

"a minute or less". You are fooling yourself if you think that the TSA's policies don't delay people more than this.

The rest of your post is operating under the assumption that the TSA's policies are effective. This remains to be seen, and is, in fact, demonstrably untrue. They are poorly thought out, reactive policies that are simply not effective, and if you look at a country which faces ACTUAL threats from terrorists on a regular basis (like, say, Israel), you will find that their citizen travelers are safer and spend far less time in security.

I just... Sorry, guys, but there's no N in "restaurateur".

Carry on.

@70 Damn. I knew I should have avoided that word, or used a spell check.

Instead of denying service to TSA agents, they should subject them to a full body scan or an invasive pat-down before allowing them entry.

"if you look at a country which faces ACTUAL threats from terrorists on a regular basis (like, say, Israel), you will find that their citizen travelers are safer and spend far less time in security."

I hear that on the job constantly. The difference between the US and Israel is that the US is a democracy where everyone has to be treated equally, regardless of race, religion, or ethnicity. Israel is not.

@48: Although all liquids must come out, your 5-hr. energy drink might be too small for an overworked TSA agent to call a bag check for. As for your dildos, on the x-ray screen they look a lot like dynamite! I've seen a lot of them, and I deal with those discreetly. As for knives, each open lane will collect at least a half-dozen knives and box cutters every day. An unsharpened cheese slicer is not considered a knife.

@37 The contractor that handles background checks is Lockheed-Martin, who also employs a privatized screening workforce at a few airports, notably SFO. If TSA is ever privatized, they will get the contract. That's why they've been backing anti-TSA politicians like Sen. George LeMieux, R-Fla. It wouldn't surprise me if they've been planting the hysteria stories about the backscatter x-ray technology in the media. Speaking of which, I consider the x-ray machines safe enough to operate and stand next to all day, every day; and I don't take the government's word for anything without checking it out for myself.

Ever since the media-manufactured hysteria regarding the new x-ray machines, my job has become a lot tougher. More people are rude and condescending, and many are looking for any excuse to start a conflict. I don't let it bother me, but some of my co-workers have become increasingly taciturn. I agree that some of the policies and procedures don't add anything to airline security except aggravation to the passengers and more work for the screeners, but these policies are made at the executive level in Washington and I have no say in the matter.

As for the unnamed restaurant (Cafe Apocrypha, good one!) I can't think of a single restaurant in or around the airport that I would even use the bathroom in, let alone eat at.

What I want to know is this: Why are the TSA exempt from not being laid off during a govt shutdown?

Cause we all know they don't actually stop terrorists and their screening is such a farce.

They should be the first to go.

OK Will, how many terrorist incidents have occurred in the US since TSA's founding? Thought so. TSA isn't laying off; they're understaffed and currently hiring.