OMG. I laughed so hard, especially at the drawstring thingy bit (sproing!). But major OW from my gut, upon seeing the muffintop disappear under that cast-iron girdle. And I guess the first time one of these women gets in bed with a man, ALL the lights will be off, right???
I'm glad I didn't change out of my pajamas this morning.
(it's not japanese btw it's chinese)