Comments

1
I'm proud of you Dan. You didn't mention that nobody wants to watch fat people fuck either.
Or ugly people
Or midgets (well, some people want to see that)
Or anyone I rode the bus with this morning. ew
Or lesbians...oh, wait, that's actually pretty awesome. Most straight guys want to watch that. If we legalize gay marriage can we watch what's going on in lesbian's bedrooms?
2
Dan: fuckin' BRAVO. I have long maintained that the main reason gays get discriminated against is "the ick factor" (hung up people imagining what goes on in gay bedrooms). Thank you for saying only "the willies" - just, thanks for this post. It says everything I have been saying for years, but more effectively. Icky things happen in a buncha bedrooms: as long as it's two consenting adults, who the fuck else should care?
3
Nailed it, Dan. Nicely done.
4
Fuckabee will be the keynote speaker at the NRA convention in Pittsburgh this year. For that reason alone, I've decided I'm not going this year.
5
I couldn't agree more with your post, but it's going to be a while before I forgive you for inflicting this sort of trauma to my poor brane first thing in the morning o.O

(EW... just EEUUWW)
6
jeesus, Dan, I was about to eat lunch. I have to go bleach my brain first.
7
Huckabee/Santorum 2012 (or this weekend)
8
That clip cuts off too soon.
9
One thing no one seems to mention is that gay marriage and adoption affects such a minuscule portion of the population, its effect is negligible, it's not like a plague that is going to run rampant and give the whole straight population screwed up families (too late for that anyway). I think this whole issue has been blown way, way out of proportion by people with small minds and nothing better to do than get hysterical over something that will never affect them.
10
Maurice Clemmons
11
Jesus, thanks NOT for the visuals, Dan! Well I guess I didn't really want to eat breakfast anyway.

Do not even think about removing a piece of clothing, Mike, or I will hurl right here, right now .
12
Remember when Rachel Maddow was saying that some fallacy will be posted on the internet, and then some whackjob repeats it, then Fox News says, "People are saying..." as though it's fact? There was some fundie loon who was quoted on JMG about how same-sex marriage is costing the States millions (or was it billions?) because deadbeat dads aren't paying child support...no logic, no connection, just saying "the cost of apples is so high, grocers should not be selling kiwis." Now Huckabee (or Fuckabee--thanks, 5280) is repeating that logic failure, as though stating two unrelated things enough times will make the idiots see a connection.

And I'm pretty sure Las Huckabees fuck through a hole in a sheet.
13
@12 *laughing* how do you make it all better, just like that?? heh...
14
And answer the man's question: How does denying marriage rights to the same-sex couple down the street make the single mother up the street any more likely to marry the father of her children? How does discriminating against gay people make straight people more responsible? How does that work?


Oh, gee, that's easy, Dan. Because, come [choose a meaningfully apocalyptic future date], all straight single people who have sex with each other (and they will be identified from their biological fingerprints on each other's bodies with these nifty scanners that don't exist yet, but that's just a minor detail, right?) will be FORCED to get married.

And that's why you can't have same-sex marriage. Because, um, it would, um, I guess, um....

Well, obviously, the naysayers think it would confuse people. And we can't confuse straight people who cannot - of their own free will - see that they MUST get married. Or ... something.

Hey, my explanation makes just as much sense (aka NONE) as what's coming from the mouths of haters.
15
Jesus, Dan. It's noon on the East Coast and I just had lunch.
16
Okay, BEG, now ponder this: How did they make the hole, with a pair of scissors, or a hole punch? (nyuk, nyuk...)
17
@12 (::waves HI to Canuck somwhere west of me::)
Remember when Rachel Maddow was saying that some fallacy will be posted on the internet, and then some whackjob repeats it, then Fox News says, "People are saying..." as though it's fact?

Shhhhh. You've just unveiled the single facet of Sarah Palin's political strategy.

And, oh, I so did not need that "hole in a sheet" visual. Because, really, those people would be better off with a specimen cup and turkey baster, for all the forced intimacy they must endure for the sake of maintaining marital relations.
18
Helenka, fellow Canuck: So, perhaps, the title for Dan's yicky straight people news could be...

"Think of the Sheets!"
19
How does denying marriage rights to the same-sex couple down the street make the single mother up the street any more likely to marry the father of her children? How does discriminating against gay people make straight people more responsible? How does that work?


Jesus magic!
20
this post damages my marriage by damaging my libido.
21
Oh, Canuck, Canuck!!!

You just made me able to breathe (for the first time today), because of the ([choose one: chortle, guffaw, snicker], all wrong BTW)

HEE-HEEEEE-HEEEEEEEEEE
that just cleared up my nose.

I was waiting for the perfect just think of the.... saying. Mind you, the "hole punch" idea was priceless, too. That way, icky girl-parts wouldn't even have to touch icky boy-parts, as long as ... hmmmm, would duct-tape work???
22
Helenka...ah, *sighs contentedly,* you are too kind, as I get mostly eye rolls at home... :)

Your duct tape idea is a capital one! In fact, I think it would be just the ticket, but only if it were applied to both mouth AND nose, rather than the other bits...
23
22 posts and not one of them written by an irate fem studies major chastising Dan for saying cunnilingus is gross, thereby contributing to the negative social perception wymyn internalize and blah blah blah? I'm shocked.
24
Hey, Canuck.

I'm still giggling. And, as long as you're going to suggest duct-taping the mouth and nose, don't forget the eyes and ears. Then, even though there will still be some un-duct-taped shit-dispensing assholes (hey, for once, it even makes sense biologically), the weakest links in society (meaning illogical haters) won't hear it, speak it, see it or even smell it.

Now, aren't I being extra kind? For those of us who are sick and tired of reading about idiots.
25
Putting them out of their misery *is* being kind, Helenka! We're always kind...we're Canadian, after all.
26
heeee.... Canucks Rule today. Dont know about extinct, they surely are pretty alive :)
27
Awwww, Alinka (@26), even though I'm still having trouble breathing (Must. Laugh. More), it's gratifying to hear of all that Canuck omnipotent benevolence being acknowledged by others.
28
Wow. That was painfully graphic. The video was just painful.
29
Here's a link to the longer version:

http://video.foxbusiness.com/v/4557975/f…
30
Fox Host: "Do conservatives care about [same-sex couples]?"
Huck: "Yes they do."
Fox Host: "Why?"

Thanks Fox.
31
Dang! I'm of the mindset that all sex is beautiful, and that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. *shakes head*

I'm persuaded to believe that all comes down to "icky". How can one argue with "icky"? It too is in the eye of the beholder.

Perhaps, Huckabee is following the thinking of a family member of mine, they do share many things: European heritage, religious views, GOP, gender, age... (Who happily no longer argues in favor of inequality, although he does openly acknowledge the "icky" that was the base of his argument.). Here it goes, and I'm paraphrasing and making it brief.

I think gay sex is icky. Gay marriage will encourage icky gay sex. Marriage will then become icky, because icky gay sex happens in gay marriages. Marriage having become icky will mean people won't want to get married. The single mother already doesn't have the 'morals' to wait for marriage before getting pregnant, and she hasn't corrected her shame by getting married. Single mother's don't value marriage and gay marriage with its icky gay sex will make her disgusted. Soon no-one will want to be married and all children will be born out-of-wedlock, because marriage has become icky.

Shorter... Marriage is a beautiful pristine load of white clothes and gay marriage is an unwashed burgundy sock. If we let the sock in the washer then everything will become an icky shade of pink.

And, I had to respect the honesty or maybe I had tasted enough of that lovely bottle of Solera Reserve.

By the way, I like color and I find it hugely inspiring that marriage is still a desired institution.
32
The ickiest sex most people can think of is their parents fucking. So if we use Huckabee's logic, shouldn't all our parents be forced to divorce?
33
Actually, Kim (@31), I think you're onto something but I'd widen the scope to say that extreme religionists and/or conservatives think that ALL sex (even their God-sanctioned kind) is icky.

From being indoctrinated by religious teachings hammering home that unmarried sex is nothing but lust and fornication and, with most traditional faiths having been eager to make purity and sex-negativity intrinsic to a Godly virtue, it's difficult to have that gut reaction disappear magically once there are rings on fingers and blessings bestowed by clergy.

So ... what to do, what to do? The answer is to transform icky sex into an epiphany of creating babies (with all desire being explained away as a God-driven directive toward procreation).

The next, logical step (to cons/fundies) has to do with what same-sex sex has signified historically ... aka nothing but deviant lust and unrestrained fornication. From the days when the only way you could hope to meet someone was in underground bars, and sex - for men - was generally relegated to a back room or alleyway (fraught with the potential of being beaten, robbed or blackmailed), they still are stuck in that mindset.

Moving forward a few decades where apparently respectable people are coming out and insisting they be treated as full-fledged citizens with OMG rights, the cons/fundies can only flash back to memories of sex scandals, despite evidence to the contrary that same-sex partners have been seen to be just as boring and normal as the neighbours next door ... or as sex-obsessed deviants as those m/f swingers who advertise in the local alternative press. Because the cons/fundies want to believe that m/f swingers are an aberration from true m/f dynamics ... whereas ALL same-sex interaction IS deviant, no matter what.

Therefore, even if same-sex marriage did become legal (even if not fully accepted), the icky factor would still be the major reason for revulsion. That's the overt reaction of cons/fundies over a very thin veneer of buried shame and hatred of their own bodies and desires that must always be restrained. Or covered up with those special holy sheets (as Canuck mentioned).

And, of course, that's also when we get the illogical spectre brandished of complete same-sex domination leading to the extinction of society.
34
@kim in portland, I've heard a similar opinion from a similarly genderd, aged, GOP-d (or PVV-d, the Netherlands equivalent) friend, so I think you are on to something.

I've also heard a different argument, about why being gay is wrong and possibly contagious. Following your style, I'll present it as I heard it; I wonder if it will sound familiar to others here.

Men naturally desire women. However, women are (or often play) difficult to get, so men -- especially young, unexperienced, socially and romantically unskilled men -- are often desperate. So they end up being preyed on by gays. So their first orgasms happen in this environment. Of course, it's still a lot worse than sex with a woman, but at least it's something; and after the first few orgasms habituation starts, and they become 'passively gay'. It's sorta like becoming addicted to junk food: if you can't pay for or can't get the good food, then you eat the junk food, and soon you'll get used to it and not try to get the good food anymore. Ergo, there is some danger that a significant number of straight men might become more-or-less gay (= addicted to second-rate gay sex for lack of access to real sex with women), and this would mark the end of the world as we know it (number of babies drops dramatically, species nears extinction, etc.). (As a side show, feminism, by over-empowering women and making them even harder to get, is actually supporting the spreading of gay "junk sex" among straight men.)

Ever heard this rationale?
35
I agree, Helenka @ 33. Especially with the attitude directed towards women and their sexuality. [ I always smirk when reading the book of Genesis, as Adam was present when instructions were given with regard to the "Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil". It reads that he took a bite, and when asked blamed both Eve and God (for providing him with a suitable companion). And, from that they decided that women cannot control themselves, but men can? It seems, to me, if Adam could control himself he would never have taken a bite. But, that doesn't work and would mess with the "Fall of Man".]
36
No doubt about it. Huckabee's gay. The most vocal homophobes are always the most closeted.
37
It's really weird and completely condescending that he thinks he has the privilege of trying to mind read what someone must have been feeling as a child, and, having constructed that strawman, then use it as the basis for what his "real" motivations are as president, and then spew that shit as a reasonable opinion on the air. Would he do this to ANYONE else he works with politically? Fellow republicans? Other white men? I suspect it's condescension based on a sense of superiority to Obama in some way (I'll let the reader guess what way he feels most superior). My guess is, he'd get real sensitive real quick if there was even the slightest bit of turn-around and fair play.

I would dearly love for the new topic of conversation be how his history of animal cruelty has informed his views on politics, just exactly why he finds gay sex so icky and what must be happening in his innermost thoughts to provoke such a strong reaction, what growing up christian must have done to him to make him panic at the thought of anyone different, etc. If the sitting president of the united states deserves this treatment, why not little old Mike Huckabee?
38
@1: Tucker Max.
39
Mike Huckabee telling me that God(tm) doesn't want me to get married would be more convincing if he were saying it while throwing rocks at Newt Gingrich.
40
Now I have "Taking it to the sheets" by the Doobie Brothers stuck in my head. Thanks for the visuals.
41
I don't like to think about what anyone's doing in the privacy of their own bedrooms,
it's not my business. Whatever float's one's boat, as long as it's between consenting adults,
live and let live and love. What's most icky is to think of one's parent's doing it, they did you know, but we don't need a visual. Rock on, Dan Savage!
42
Eeewwwww....give a girl some warning Dan.
43
Oh please, like Mike Huckabee does anything fun? I doubt it.
44
Dan Savage is a stupid faggot!
45
How do we change the narrative that gay relationships are strictly about gay sex? Gay relationships have every bit of movie watching, meal preparing, conversating, high-fiving, early nights and earlier mornings, and arguing, etc., etc. as straight relationships.
46
I think we should spread all sorts of stories about Mike Huckabee being a sex fiend. That would be awesome.
47
Oh, Kim (@35). If you're going to talk about women and sexuality, are you aware that, until last century (IIRC), women who gave birth in Catholic hospitals were deprived of all pain-killers, because it was their inheritance to suffer for Eve's great sin. Simply ... ugh.

And speaking of Genesis, I wandered through a few sites last night, trying to reconcile where the rest of humanity came from, based on the fact that there was - according to the Bible - only one man and one woman. Did you know ::adopts an incredulous yet sarcastic tone:: that God only made sex between siblings a sin about 400 years later ... after Cain and Abel slept with their sisters in order to father children. Wasn't that awfully convenient for God to allow for that window of opportunity?

When today's Bible-thumpers charge those of us - who believe that a faith can evolve with the times - of cherry-picking Bible verses, should we remind them that they, too (or the early Popes and Cardinals), played a significant role in deciding which books should be included in the Bible passed down to us and which concepts were to be given prominence and others shoved into a dark corner? Or how badly mangled so many translations were from Aramaic through Greek, Latin and into modern-day languages?

But, alas, that would require an open mind, curiosity and application of logic, none of which appear to come as either OEM or upgrades with cons/fundies.
48
You are my FB Link of the Week, Sir. Fucking brilliant.
49
‎"How does denying marriage rights to the same-sex couple down the street make the single mother up the street any more likely to marry the father of her children?" Or any more able to remain married to the father of her children, for dollars? Fuckhead.
50
Did anyone notice Huckabee seems to be open to same sex civil unions? From a political leader of evangelical Christians, that's progress.
51
Yes, Helenka. It is part of the fascination that makes me study.
52
So if this is what an ‘ideal’ family is SUPPOSED to look like...where do I sign up for one of those gay memberships?

http://wonkette.com/332736/mike-huckabee…
54
Guess I'll be skipping lunch today.
55
I'd like to see Huckabee get a piss facial by two big, muscular black dudes and I'm not even gay.
56
Anybody Wanna Watch Mike Huckabee Blow a Three-Day Load All Over His Wife's Face?

Isn't that CALLED a "huckabee"?
57
From the longer version of the video, Huckabee basically said families with two gay parents are dysfunctional by definition.

He also said to include in marriage anything other than "one man one woman" deprives the child of the right/necessity of being raised by both mother and father.

I await his forthcoming campaign to remove children from single parent households and to end adoption by gay and lesbian couples. That should be fun. It's coming next, right?

If a child needs a mother and a father, let's bring back polygamous marriage. Because a father and two-plus mothers must be better than just one of each. That's simple math.
58
And speaking of Genesis, I wandered through a few sites last night, trying to reconcile where the rest of humanity came from, based on the fact that there was - according to the Bible - only one man and one woman

Simple. Not only were there other humans around besides Adam and Eve, there were other GODS around besides Yahweh. He just founded his own personal herd, is all.
59
"Oh no, we definitely don't want to see what's going on in THAT bedroom!"

Bet the nice young newlywed couple living next door to the Huckabees just looked at each other with a look of unfathomed horror.
60
@58
I see your words "personal herd" and all I can think of is the life-sucking vampires (Wraith) in the Pegasus Galaxy on Stargate: Atlantis - for whom people are like cattle (and the Wraith's preferred food source). Hey, it's all SF, right?

OTOH, what you wrote isn't in the Bible either. So ... perhaps an overly zealous editor.
61
Meh.

No matter what it is...I've seen worse. And if I haven't, someone else probably has.

Sleep is a bumble bee. Get used to it.

Captain Beefheart rest in peace.
62
I've always found it strange that anyone could be against same-sex couples based on the fact that they found the sex practices of the couples to be "icky". Do those anti-same sex marriage people just sit around and fantasize about the sex lives of everyone they meet or something? I you find it gross, stop fantasizing about it!

I find hominy one of the most disgusting foods on the planet, but I would never imagine banning it for everyone else simply because I had a problem with the food. That would just make me a selfish, stupid bitch.
63
This post made me say "Stop it!"

Out loud.
64
Dan,
Why does whatever is going on in that bedroom give 20% of the people who do it AIDS?
How does THAT work?.....
65
Mike Huckabee doesn't *have* a 3 day load to blow on his wife's face. He's a Republican Senator, so that means two things: that he's too busy powermongering to fuck (he's probably pulling 12-18 hour days roughly 7 days a week with this Presidential candidate business - Shame on him for not adhering to the 10th commandment by the way), and that he's too damn uptight to fuck. I would expect that about once every three *months* would be highly exceptional for him.

I wouldn't feel sorry for his wife as a consequence of this however. Their marriage has likely been more of a political partnership than a loving relationship for so long that it doesn't matter anymore. And she's likely just as busy and uptight anyway.
66
@64: How does being an ignorant unregistered douchecanoe give people the inability to distinguish between 3% and 20%?
How does THAT work?.....
67
@34 - yes, I've heard that one. With the anti-feminism included, yep.

As usual, homophobia & misogyny go hand-in-hand.
68
It's only a matter of time before this guy gets busted soliciting sex from an underage male prostitute. You just *know* it's coming.
69
Ewwww... can't unsee that. I was *almost* afraid to click on this one. Good lord, Fuckabee & his ilk spend more time thinking about gay sex than most gay people I know. It HAS to be wishful thinking. Seriously.

Please wait...

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