Exactly! Actually, what I really want in every room of our house is one of those retractable mallets they have at the packing table at Ikea. You know, grab it, whack the husband, let go, and it springs back into the wall. Genius.
I recently read a report in Reader's Digest about an amazing new technology called Instant Messaging. The children of America Online are keen on using for this sort of communication.
Canuck, using the Bic spitwad cannon, you blow through the narrower tip end of the pen barrel, loading the largest wad you can fit through the wider butt end. It is well-nigh impossible to aspirate it forcefully enough to drive the wad through the narrow tip.
A cellphone with vibrate will do the same thing. However, if someone chooses to be unresponsive there's not a whole lot you can do. Even an air horn to the head won't do it likely.
Even cheaper: extend arm with hand open, palm flat. Flick hand against back of head - CONTACT ESTABLISHED.
@7 for the win, tho.
I used to be really, really, really good at it.
http://www.superdairyboy.com/pictures/sc…