School District Responds to Christians Angry About "Spring Spheres"

Comments

Well, you know what the Bible says about "Easter eggs"...

Dougsf on April 13, 2011 at 6:41 PM

I think if they can find the part in the bible where Jesus, before ascending to Heaven on the third day, hides dyed eggs in the shrubbery, then they should get to call them Easter eggs. But if they can't, they should be made to admit that eggs are a pagan fertility symbol of spring, along with fucking bunnies and may poles. Right?

Canuck on April 13, 2011 at 6:43 PM

This atheist schoolteacher says, "Call them Easter eggs!"

Greenwood on April 13, 2011 at 6:49 PM

I'm disgusted by this whole mess. The damned things are obviously ovoid.

Fuck me, this is all so stupid.

TacomaRoma on April 13, 2011 at 6:54 PM

I think this is probably safely in the realm of overly-PC bullshit.

But with the relentless crap conservative Christians have been pulling lately from defunding Planned Parenthood to canceling AIDS research to trying to reinstate DADT, I say let 'em have it. It's not like it really matters anyways.

doesurmindglow on April 13, 2011 at 6:55 PM

They should call them "Spring Egg-shaped Spheres".

idaho on April 13, 2011 at 6:56 PM

@7- "Egg-shaped spheres"????!!!!???!!!!!

I'm sending demons through these tubes to punish you for that.

dwightmoodyforgetsthings on April 13, 2011 at 6:59 PM

Lucifer's Testicles goddamit!

Urgutha Forka on April 13, 2011 at 7:01 PM

All these bunnies and eggs are pagan anyway. That's why my kids get chocolate crucifixes.

on April 13, 2011 at 7:08 PM

Um. Why not "Colored Eggs" or "Dyed Eggs?" I think some joker managed to pass off Spring Spheres and is laughing at all of us right now.

emor on April 13, 2011 at 7:12 PM

@2 But then they'd still be promoting the pagan religion of whoever the fuck, Canuck. Personally I'm aghast that the policy forbids the teaching of science (since the teaching of science inherently disparages religious belief, it just can't be helped).

OuterCow on April 13, 2011 at 7:16 PM

Hmmm, true, OuterCow...I was just thinking generalized sperm and egg worship, but those gods have a way of making it all about them...and heh, the science thingy--good one! Hopefully they won't notice...

Canuck on April 13, 2011 at 7:24 PM

I demand the U.S. House of Representatives halt budget talks and shut down federal government to pass an emergency resolution that the name Easter Eggs can only be changed to Freedom Eggs. Or Ronald Reagan Memorial Eggs.

Demetria on April 13, 2011 at 7:29 PM

don't get it twisted. they're not fucking easter eggs unless the fucking easter bunny brings em. heathens.

reverend dr dj riz on April 13, 2011 at 7:33 PM

Why not "Easter eggs"? We can acknowledge that some of what are now our secular traditions came from religious traditions without necessarily "promoting" anything. I'm an atheist, but I celebrate Easter by decorating eggs, and I celebrate Christmas by giving my friends gifts. What's the big fucking deal?

Andy on April 13, 2011 at 7:36 PM

@13 Actually Canuck, I'd love some fundie kid with dreams of lawyerdom to sue them over it. T'would be hilarious.

OuterCow on April 13, 2011 at 7:36 PM

If they dont like it, then they take their kids to a private school.

Kinison on April 13, 2011 at 7:38 PM

I like just "dyed eggs," but if we want to get technical, I think "spring fertility fetishes" would be most accurate.

lblah on April 13, 2011 at 7:43 PM

Both the eggs and the name "Easter" predate Christianity's use of them.

Monty on April 13, 2011 at 7:50 PM

19 wins. Enfield, take note.

NaFun on April 13, 2011 at 8:02 PM

Eggs for Ba'al!

sirkowski on April 13, 2011 at 8:09 PM

My darling Jon always called 'em "Passova ova". He was Reform verging on heathen, the delicious man.

gloomy gus on April 13, 2011 at 8:22 PM

It's silly, but if it irritates the Christians that get irritated by things like this, I'm all for it. Bring on the spring spheres, I'll cook up a big spring ham on the after next Saturday.

Catalina Vel-DuRay on April 13, 2011 at 8:57 PM

Oh Lissa, are you out there?? I have a new avatar for you!
http://www.easterdecorations.zlinf.com/w…

Easter humour:
http://www.jasonchatfield.com/blog/image…

Not funny at all:
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9G…

That is all.

Canuck on April 13, 2011 at 9:00 PM

@20 even if you are correct, they are still religious symbols!

in-frequent on April 13, 2011 at 9:03 PM

Is this some kind of Revenge of Scientism for the people getting burned at stakes for saying the planets moved ellipses around the sun instead of them moving around the Earth in perfect Celestial Spheres?

Supreme Ruler Of The Universe on April 13, 2011 at 9:05 PM

Christians have been commodifying pagan traditions and symbols for literally millenia, then get huffy when someone else commodifies them back.

Typical...

COMTE on April 13, 2011 at 9:19 PM

In the words of Barry Zuckerkorn, "Those are balls."

dirge on April 13, 2011 at 9:25 PM

Reform verging on humanist, Gus, not heathen. We Reform aren't religious enough to be heathen.

Christians, get ova it.

sarah68 on April 13, 2011 at 9:37 PM

Joke's on the fucking Christians. Bunnies & eggs are pagan symbols of spring's re-birth.

Still, anything that pisses off the Krazy Kristians is a-okay in my book.

Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on April 13, 2011 at 9:59 PM

Decorative rabbit eggs. I don't see what the controversy is.

Fnarf on April 13, 2011 at 10:06 PM

Spring Ben-Wah Balls.

this guy I know in Spokane on April 13, 2011 at 10:09 PM

@ 1 Yes
@ 19 Yes
@ 25 Love the links

@ 9 FTW

I Love IPA on April 13, 2011 at 10:27 PM

Fantastic all round, Canuck.

gloomy gus on April 13, 2011 at 10:34 PM

Spring Spheres ???? What the hell is wrong with the Seattle Public School system ?

TreGibbs on April 13, 2011 at 11:02 PM

My first thought was that this is completely ridiculous.

My second thought was that if it pisses off the fundies, then all the better. "Spring Spheres" it is!

Reverse Polarity on April 13, 2011 at 11:33 PM

Easter Bunny, omelet you finish, but Jesus laid some of the best eggs of all time!

TheOldProfessor on April 13, 2011 at 11:34 PM

Normally I hate this sort of PC-lingoism.

But yeah, if it pisses off the Christian Taliban, bring it on.

Karlheinz Arschbomber on April 14, 2011 at 1:33 AM

If the person who came up with the term "spring spheres" was serious, they deserve the wrath of these fundie loons, misguided though it may be.

On the other hand, if they did it as some kind of commentary on PC absurdity vs religious absurdity and managed to pass it off as if they were serious, then they deserve our quiet admiration.

aiff on April 14, 2011 at 2:16 AM

Jesus fucking Christ...just call them Easter Eggs. Who the FUCK cares about this anyway?!?!?

Doesn't our school board have more pressing issues to deal with?

Last of the Time Lords on April 14, 2011 at 4:41 AM

I thought this was a two-weeks-late April fools post for a second. Spring Spheres - that's hilarious. What's do Easter eggs have to do with the public school system anyway?

CitKeane on April 14, 2011 at 5:12 AM

Yes, time lord, the school board does have better things to do. But in government, when a bunch of idiots get worked up over somdthing inane, you have to drop whatever important, productive thing you are doing and reply to them, lest you be accused of being "unresponsive".

Catalina Vel-DuRay on April 14, 2011 at 6:53 AM

I didn't read every comment but isn't anyone outraged that the school system can't teach geometry? An egg is approximately spherical but it is not a sphere. They should've gone all the way and called them Spring Prolate Ellipsoids.
That aside, they sound like Berkeley and they don't deserve to sound like Berkeley.

dirac on April 14, 2011 at 7:32 AM

@19 - I am hosting a Seder and will now have to hand out "spring fertility fetishes" before the macaroons and afikomen. :-D

ariane on April 14, 2011 at 7:36 AM

Calling an Easter egg what it is in no way goes against their policy. This agnostic casts his meaningless vote in favor of sanity .

ryanmm on April 14, 2011 at 7:38 AM

...Why not "Spring Eggs"?

Atumornamedmarla on April 14, 2011 at 7:40 AM

Wait, Easter Eggs are laid by a bunny? I thought that the Jesus ghost laid them after he emerged from the cave. Am I completely confused, or did Jesus emerge from the cave as a bunny, and not a ghost?

bluefawx on April 14, 2011 at 7:42 AM

@25:Canuck, I love you with a pure and everlasting devotion.

Lissa on April 14, 2011 at 7:45 AM

http://uncrate.com/men/images/2011/04/ch…

Easter is the name of the pagan goddess of spring, who FYI, was born of a virgin birth.

Rob in Baltimore on April 14, 2011 at 8:00 AM

Lissa, the feeling is mutual, dearest!

And I'm just remembering this funny story by Wade Rouse about the way his father hid the family Easter eggs...thought just tucking them into the bushes was too easy, so he buried them in the yard. Cracks me up.

Canuck on April 14, 2011 at 8:32 AM

There's a commercial right now, for I don't remember what, in which the dad paints the eggs in camouflage colors, and sits back while all the children scream with frustration. When his daughter finally finds one he is quite put out.

Lissa on April 14, 2011 at 8:49 AM

Yep, #9 is fabulous, Lucifer's Testicles.

betsio on April 14, 2011 at 10:08 AM

everyone knows that the 'jessica' call was bullshit in the firstplace, right?

but please carry on.

on April 14, 2011 at 12:46 PM

Easter falls on the first Sunday following the first full moon following the first day of spring. It involves rabbits and eggs. But it has nothing to do with vernal fertility rites, so Stop Saying That!

Geni on April 14, 2011 at 2:36 PM

true story.

Unbeknown to my parents my brother got up before the rest of us, found ALL the Easter eggs, and peeled them ALL open to see if they were chocolate. Disappointed, he threw the hard boiled refuse over the fence into our nieghbors yard. Then when we got up and gathered with all our cousins to search the yard, fruitlessly, found nothing, he finally told us:

"Those was just fucking regular shitty eggs. This whole thing is a scam."

tkc on April 14, 2011 at 5:47 PM

As an agnostic dad of a Seattle Public School second grader I can tell you:

A) They've never done any Easter crap at my kid's school.
B) If they did, I'd be delighted if they left out the word "Easter."
C) "Jessica", the radio show she called, and the hack who wrote it up and called it news ought to all be tarred, feathered, and rode out of town on a rail, then that rail should be placed on a boat bound for Uganda. Then it should be nuked from orbit, because that is the only way to be safe.

dwightmoodyforgetsthings on April 14, 2011 at 7:49 PM

School District Responds to Christians Angry About "Spring Spheres"

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