Blogs Apr 22, 2011 at 9:50 am

Maybe He'll Sacrifice a Virgin Next Time

Paul Constant
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Comments

1
Jesus is my firefighter.
OuterCow on April 22, 2011 at 9:59 AM Report this
2
I'm letting all my Texas friends know to do their part.

I also suggest that Sloggers also pray for rain in Texas. Everyone might as well pitch in.

Actually, I'd really like to see some of you write prayer cards that we can all read from on those days. Let's here your best prayers to the great Texan rain bringer!
LukeJoe on April 22, 2011 at 10:01 AM Report this
3
Might as well hire a voodoo doctor. Do people always need to resort to fourth century superstitions? Fercrissakes, it's a weather pattern. Rain will come when it comes. Morons! (no offense to morons)
Vince on April 22, 2011 at 10:01 AM Report this
4
I would gladly give them some of the rain we've had. I spend all my time with the shop-vac in the basement. NOT FUN! Since I'm an atheist, if I pray for more rain, will it stop?
angel in indy on April 22, 2011 at 10:07 AM Report this
5
Well, undoubtedly, one of the prayers will work and it will be raining again in Texas.
raindrop on April 22, 2011 at 10:11 AM Report this
6
can he even find a virgin in texas to sacrifice ?
reverend dr dj riz on April 22, 2011 at 10:14 AM Report this
7
There used to be a tv ad that ran about Texas saying it's a "whole other country". (I think it was for it's tourism agency)

I wish Texas was it's own other country. Then we could see how many weeks it would take to become a third world nation.
Last of the Time Lords on April 22, 2011 at 10:16 AM Report this
8
I also forgot to mention that Gov. Perry asked for federal help. Shouldn't that be lynching talk in Texass?
Vince on April 22, 2011 at 10:23 AM Report this
9
I think the bigger question is:

Why is God pissed off with Texas?

But they never seem to think about it that way, do they?
Mike in Olympia on April 22, 2011 at 10:26 AM Report this
10
@9 - great!

@8 - Yeah, I feel like this is a great time to call Perry out on his secessionist rhetoric.
bookworm on April 22, 2011 at 10:32 AM Report this
11
@9:

Yeah, strange that God is only being wrathful when the natural disaster is hitting one of them "librul blue states". And yet when there's a drought in Texas or tornadoes in the "Bible Belt", somehow "God" and "wrath" never seem to be used to describe the phenomenon.
COMTE on April 22, 2011 at 10:36 AM Report this
12
...god throws a BBQ, and Texas prays for rain.
on April 22, 2011 at 10:38 AM Report this
13
So, Texas is on fire? I always thought it was Hell, anyway.
Brooklyn Reader on April 22, 2011 at 11:05 AM Report this
14
The other day, a very religious relative of mine posted a Facebook status praying for lower gas prices. It's amazing how Christers don't think God has anything better to do.
keshmeshi on April 22, 2011 at 11:10 AM Report this
15
fuck you know they are going to pray for their football teams too, we need to counter prayer that shit
aardvark on April 22, 2011 at 11:14 AM Report this
16
Well, then obviously Texas won't need that $2.2 billion in emergency relief funds, right?
laterite on April 22, 2011 at 11:24 AM Report this
17
The scary thing is that rain is already forecast for a lot of Texas on Monday. If it actually rains Monday I guarantee you this fucker will take credit for it
Root on April 22, 2011 at 11:30 AM Report this
18
sheridan said 'if i owned hell and texas, i'd live in hell and rent out texas.'
scary tyler moore on April 22, 2011 at 11:43 AM Report this
19
@9- "Why is God mad at Texas?"

Austin, obviously.
dwightmoodyforgetsthings on April 22, 2011 at 12:31 PM Report this
20
Texans' main problem has always been that they don't pray enough.
Original Andrew on April 22, 2011 at 1:18 PM Report this
21
God is saying She wants Texas to go Blue or else.
Will in Seattle on April 22, 2011 at 1:33 PM Report this
22
Rick Perry is the absolute and hateful symbol - nay, the very avatar - of the reasons this Texan moved away from Texas.
balderdash on April 22, 2011 at 3:46 PM Report this
23
We, the people of St. Louis, Missouri, would be happy to donate some of our rain. We've been getting far too much of it.

But hell, if the results are this hilarious, we'll keep it.
on April 22, 2011 at 3:52 PM Report this
24
Dang. Just when my prayers that Texas burns to the ground were going so well.
Free Lunch on April 22, 2011 at 7:14 PM Report this
25
Prayers to Satan are much more effective than prayers to God, who has proved again and again that he doesn't care, whereas we have ample evidence that Satan *does* care! - born in TX in WWII.
jimbat on April 22, 2011 at 11:37 PM Report this
26
Excuse me while I get into my jet and seed some clouds over Texas so the rain starts.

SCIENCE!
A Concerned Parent on April 22, 2011 at 11:40 PM Report this
27
Prayers to Satan are much more effective than prayers to God, who has shown over and over again that He doesn't care, while Satan has much better credentials. - born in Ft Worth in WWII.
on April 22, 2011 at 11:49 PM Report this

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