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800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
always, always go into that room and advocate for yourself. and watch your back. they have so much power and so much ego and all of the same faults as everyone else.
your experience does not surprise me.
Not all straight people, of course, but enough to keep syphilis roaring along. For centuries.
Until a cure came along.
But sex is a close second.
the point?
some heterosexuals are irresponsible assholes,
but- hey!-
homosexuals can be bigger more irresponsible assholes?
after 30 years of education and outreach HIV among homosexuals is at the highest rates ever.
impressive.
and Danny's answer is "you do it too..na na na"?
very mature...
What percentage of sexually active heterosexuals have gonorrhea?
What percentage of sexually active homosexuals have gonorrhea?
What percentage of sexually active heterosexuals have HIV?
What percentage of sexually active homosexuals have HIV?
That's a much more sinister version of the scorn lots of women (like me) received as teenagers when we had to tell our doctors we needed a pap smear/pregnancy test/std test because we were having sex.
If what you are doing scares you shitless and makes you paranoid that you are going to die it may not ba a good thing....
If only your doctor had had something like this, Dan.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUhvJgxgA…
Your reaction:
A-pity
B-panic
C-disappointment
D-all of the above
he gave me a high-five.
true story.
if you really wanted to see his puss drop you should have told him you had a gun at home.....
(assuming your doc was a judgemental pussy like Golob, of course...)
I had to wait until I got out of the military, and got a civilian job with insurance before I could ask a doctor about the "gay disease". That was a very paranoid few years for me.
Interesting point.
Science found a "cure" for syphilis.
But as, and to the extent that, mankind continued to engage in the irresponsible dangerous behaviors (promiscuous sex; "cheating" did you call it?...) other STDs came along.
Curing syphilis did not prevent the development of AIDS.
Curing AIDS will not stop the development of the next Gay Plague.
Enlightened folks have known this for centuries, Danny.
Did you know that for thousands of years mankind has been warned not to fornicate, adulterate, "lie with mankind..."; the CDC calls it 'abstinence until in a longterm realtionship and monogamy thereafter' (gosh, did Moses work for the CDC?)
It is about the behaviors and choices, Danny.
There ain't no cure for irresponsible dangerous behavior.
sorry to be the one to break it to you....
Why did you comment twice pretending to be two different people? And, what's the reason behind referring to Dan as "Danny"?
You are an obnoxious prick.
Maybe that's something I should ask in QuestionLand - finding a physician that's a good match is always tricky.
Ha ha, inappropriate reply of the day...
#2: so true, here is hoping that it takes only 4 decades instead of 4 centuries to find a cure!
we don't know how to break it to you darlin' but if he was 'cheating' then he wasn't really 'monogamous' now, was he....
I would have thought that was cool as a 16 yo boy.
EricaP - is a high five a good response to a 16 year old girl in the same situation? I'll need to know eventually, and if so, great, I think I can pull that off.
Hey troll, lesbians are gay too. Did you realize that lesbians have a far lower rate of STDs than hetero women? So blaming it on the gay is a really flawed argument.
It isn't very nice of me I know, but I can't tell you how much pleasure I get from the knowledge that, although no one can hear him, he, of course, reads every comment. :)
Ask her about her partner. Make sure it was consensual, without making it sound like she should have said "no." Offer her birth control options if it was, and if it wasn't, offer her support. You can do one of two things to be supportive of her decision to be sexually active. 1) Act like it's no big deal that she's had sex. or 2) If you feel comfortable doing so, act like a gossipy teenage girl who's happy for her friend being happy.
And what's a better option? Living a self-loathing life as a closeted gay dude? Talk about predisposing yourself to emotional illness... Oh, but hey, then you'd apparently be living that "fulfilling and rewarding" life that you speak of! Lying to your wife, everyone you know, having frustrating sex, etc. But you'd get to be parents! Heaven! 'Cept most parents I know are miserable - stressed, exhausted, overwhelmed. Parenthood is the antithesis to happiness. Research backs that up; see the work of Harvard psychologist, Dan Gilbert, if you think I'm making it up. So what's this fulfilling and rewarding life again that you speak of?
Had I been that doctor, I'd have been impressed that the kid had been self aware enough and had enough self esteem to be open about who he is. Most people in the world live lies, about one thing or another. Look around you. You're probably one of them. Good for Dan to dump that doc on his ass & find another one who was more evolved.
we must admit, Red, to being very impressed by how much you have to say about posts and posters you NEVER read....
well, you're just little miss sunshine, aren't you
you know, they say that suicide is painless....
blaming what?
I hope someone castrated the guy for having sex with a toddler like that!
;)
In about 1983 when I was 22 I went to my father's doctor because I was having a stomach issue. The only thing I remember specifically was the doctor telling me "the anus is not a vagina and should not be used as such." Then I got a disturbing lecture about the dangers of gay sex. That didn't scare me into abstinence -- it just made me avoid doctors altogether for a couple of years.
I'll never forget the look on her face when I told her my decision. Like she wanted to punish me. What a bitch.
Here's to good doctors who know how to deal with sexual health issues. Hearing some of them on your podcast makes me feel so grateful on behalf of the people they treat.
Are you hoping to look "cool" to your patients, or rather to make them comfortable enough to raise issues that may affect their medical care (birth control, consent, sexuality concerns, STIs, etc.)?
I had the reverse experience that Dan did. I was an officer in the Navy, and my career was over if anyone found out I was gay. She looked me in the eye and said "We need to have a name on all these forms. We never check to see if it is your real name. I recommend you use one you'll remember." As sad as it is that she had to do that, it felt very accepting and safe at the time.
No physician (and a ped, no less) is in a position to provide anything but support, information and care to a patient. A kid can get plenty of what this guy provided from friends, family, school administrators and religious leaders. Remember the Hippocratic Oath- first do no harm.
Had the kid been me in 1974, I might well have found a nearby bridge to leap from. But I suppose that too would be mighty drama-queeny.
wow
what a bitch.
my doctor gave a lollipop to her patients who killed their babies...
Anyone who had contact with a suspected GRID patient in the early days was scared. I remember my boyfriend (half-joking) saying that nothing had ever improved his sterile technique in the lab like working with samples from GRID patients. I don't blame people for being frightened in ways that seem unreasonable to us now...it looked like just about the worst thing in the world. And for a few years, it was.
Yes, no doctor should ever react in that sort of judgmental way to a patient. But your doctor probably hadn't even been using gloves up until that point in the exams - a lot of doctors didn't - and was just plain scared. Sure, it looks like ignorant bigotry now, but it was lack of knowledge that had everyone so frightened. What is inexcusable are people that practice bigotry toward people with HIV today.
If your 16 year old child comes to you about his/her first sexual experience, but is not beaming, then you get both of you a cup of tea, and sit down to listen to whatever the kid needs to say.
What part of this was not already clear to you? (Asked sincerely, not snarkily...)
As far as fear and panic - if you saw this doctor in 1981, before the cause and transmission risks of AIDS were really known, then I think you're being a little to hard on the guy. Here's a kid he's treated for years, watched grow up, who is now suddenly at risk for some scary new fatal disease with no known treatment. He should have hidden his reaction better, granted, but it's not unprofessional to be frightened for a patient.
A kid you've known all his life shares with you that he is engaging in behavior that you know (but, due to political correctness, cannot share...) will predispose him to physical disease and emotional illness, shorten his lifespan and rob him of many of life's most rewarding and fulfilling opportunities.
Your reaction:
A-pity
B-panic
C-disappointment
D-all of the above
Like Dan, I'm gay. Like Dan, I had sex the first time while in my teens. Unlike Dan, I was born in the 1950's. Now, nearly 40 years after my first sexual encounter, I am physically and emotionally healthy, surrounded by friends, I have a job that I love and--oh, yeah--I'm married to the man of my dreams.
Your view of gay life is a throwback to some kind of 1950's era "medical documentary" riddled with stereotypes and untested preconceptions. It is not now, nor has it ever been, the reality of my life.
ah- anecdotal evidence;
it's the stuff good public policy is made of...
what percentage of homosexuals from your generation lived the hypothetical life you describe?
you are right. you don't get it.
You asked "what percentage of homosexuals from your generation lived the hypothetical life you describe?"
Answer: the vast majority of my gay friends. And I bet I know more gay people than you.
Now I'll turn the question around: what percentage of homosexuals live the lonely, sick, truncated lives you describe? And do you base this on any empirical, tested research? Or are you, too, just offering "anecdotes," which, in your case, I suspect really translates to having once seen a production of The Boys in the Band?
Mine is a cute, sweet woman from the midwest. I could say to her: "I think I spent too much time in the sling last night and might have torn something" and she'd just treat me. (It hasn't happened yet....but it's only a matter of time... ;) )
now now-
enough of the anecdotal pollyanna...
we'll need concrete numbers, and names.
(are any of you friends among the homosexuals who are 84X as likely to have HIV compared to normal Americans? or the homosexuals who are 9X as likely to commit suicide?)
do you cheat on your "husband"?
we find it interesting that Danny is "married" to this guy the FanBoys all say is sooo Dreamy but Danny can't even pretend to want to be faithful.
heterosexuals in love usually profess that they can't imagine cheating, that they want to be together forever, that they complete each other. of course the reality doesn't always match the ideal but that is the ideal, and a pretty universal one at that.
biologically there is no purpose to homosexual infatuation/'love' and it makes one wonder that there is no homosexual version of heterosexual "true love".
maybe Danny is so cavalier about cheating, and so quick to tell letter writers to dump someone they love if the sex isn't porno-perfect, because he literally doesn't comprehend True Love.
evidently there is nothing but the buttsex, and of course if that's all there is it gets boring and stale at some point, so cheating is a way to try to pump some life into a souless dead lifestyle.
interesting.
you know,
back in the day danny had some awkward encounters with icky girls and their stinky vaginas.
his 'lovechild' would be 31 or so now....
YOU WERE MALIGNED!
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA