Blogs Jun 16, 2011 at 10:17 am

Comments

1
Was I the only one who thought the sneezing letter seemed totally fake?
2
I didn't think it was fake. Who knows what I woulda left as a browser history if they'd have had the 'net when I was 14.
3
Gesundheit.
4
What 14 year old nowadays doesn't know how to clear a browser history?
5
The kid could be at the peeking-through-her-fingers stage with some fetishes, too - I know there were definitely things I heard about at around that age that I'd have obsessively researched, even though they were not then and are not now my fetishes, just because I was kind of in the point-and-laugh phase of sexuality. "Ooh, gross, people really do that? Lemme see!" I didn't have the Internet (this was 150 years ago, after all), but if I had, my browser history would have been ... eclectic, to say the least.
6
Hear, hear, Geni @5!
7
How exactly are you supposed to monitor your teen's actions online again? Yeah, you can look at the browser history and saved files (assuming the kid isn't smart enough to hide these things), but you're not going to be able to read your kid's email (nor should you, unless they've already done something insanely stupid). I liked your original advice to butt out, Dan. Teach the teen about the internet and the things they should watch out for (and let them know that they might be able to be spied on), and then let the kid make their own mistakes.

If I hadn't been able to flirt with strangers on the internet as a teen, even if I had zero intention of following through in person, I would have found a way to go out and do it in person, putting myself at greater risk. Thank goodness my parents were not reading my emails and chats, or they would have thought I was a little nymphomaniac and banned me from the internet entirely!
8
Just be glad she's not a furry.
9
I don't have kids, but surely there are programs concerned parents can get that, I dunno, makes browser histories "undeletable"? Or something of the sort? Seems like it would be a growing industry.
But I agree that reading everything your teenager is reading about their new fetish would make you craaaazy.
10
Here's a thought: there is line between your kid's rightful sexuality and your business to meddle. They are entitled to their sexuality right up to where consent is violated. Yes, horrors!, two 14 year olds can give each other their consent. One 14 year old can explore internet porn as part of their normal development.

Is your kid hurting someone or being hurt? No? Then stay out of it.
11
@5 Geni, I'm betting your browser history IS eclectic, to say the least.
12
@1Totally not fake! WM was actually a poster on a mom message board that I visit and me and 3 other smart moms referred her to Dan! Thank goodness she took our advice. There were a bunch of kookoo flakes telling her to take this poor kid to a therapist! Yep, that will def solve the "problem".
13
@1Totally not fake! WM was actually a poster on a mom message board that I visit and 3 smart moms and I referred her to Dan! Thank goodness she took our advice. There were a bunch of kookoo flakes telling her to take this poor kid to a therapist! Yep, that will def solve the "problem".
14
I'm really interested in Dan's comment that he's a parent who monitors his son's Internet activities, and would love to hear more from Dan about how to deal with raising healthy and happy children in a sex-positive way. I did read The Kid, but I didn't realize how fast kids grow up...
15
Eh, my parents never monitored my internet usage (I know this for a fact, as only my dad even knows how to check a browser history, and he moved out when I was 13), and I turned out alright, despite doing some substantial lurking on alt.polyamory, reading a ton of dirty webcomics, and writing way too much dirty fanfic where every man on the planet had a cock the size of a baseball bat.

All they did was tell me over and over again, "Never give anyone your real name or where you live, and never agree to meet anyone in person who you met online, because there are bad people in the world who might want to hurt you." (well, that and ground me for the night when a 30-year-old guy actually bought me a ticket to a Tool concert and wanted me to go with him)
16
ok so I've got one of those awful horror stories though to consider, I got yanked out of school one day in high school, and met my dad at the car, he was trying, turns out the fbi had called him to let him know that I had been planning to run away from home and it turns out the guy I had been talking to was a serial killer who preyed on teenage boys.

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