What's the Matter with Kansas?

Comments

1
Nope. Not gonna click on that.
2
That should be its governor.
3
You're pure id, Dan. That's what I love about you.
4
@1, it's nothing scary, just a Facebook page of someone trying to make a neologism out of the last name. The fact that so many of us have perfectly ordinary brown backs does take pretty much all the air out of it. But he's trying, and it's an homage to Dan's success, so here we are.
5
Guess you have to be logged in to see that facebook page. Silly facebook.
6
@5 - And I can't even see facebook from work. Anyone care to give us a rundown of what they're trying to make "brownbacking" mean?
7
MacC, here's the preamble bit:
In this battle of words - it is important to remember exactly how "brown" modifies "back". It is my goal to coin a neologism. I would like to begin now. To equate brownbacking to buggering. To make it so that when Sam Brownback's name is spoken aloud in public a snicker echoes through the public. Sam Brownback's ambitions fly far afield of this prairie. Should he succeed in his de-evolution of Kansas he will go on to brownback the rest of the country. And all this in the name of his imaginary friend.
8
@7 - That's some pretty prose, sure, but the neologism seems lazy. I do not approve.
9
and i don't give a damn about the brownback dollar...
10
YAY! I am a Kansan, and I have officially joined the group.

We're not all weird backwards folk around here, I promise!!
11
The answer to the perennial question is that they are the ignorant, backwater dregs of humaity's progrression. FUCK EM'.
12
Dude, @11, read the book and/or watch the movie that actually carries the title of Dan's post.

Kansas was once a socialist and populist haven, and publisher of the most widely circulated socialist newspaper. As a state, Kansas was religious, but heavily progressive throughout the 20th century. (Wichita, Lawrence and Topeka, by the way, are pretty blue cities in a sea of purple and red, even now).

Until 1991, and the goddamn Summer of Mercy. Ah, the Summer of Mercy, when pro-lifers came out in droves from all over the state and country to chain themselves to George Tiller's gates. George Tiller, you will recall, was one of the ONLY credible doctors in the country willing to perform abortions after 20 weeks. And he lived, yes, in Kansas, before he was shot down by a guy from out of state.

Anyway, the Summer of Mercy comes, and political organizers start courting the conservative Christian protesters. Bolstered to run for office, city and county legislators grew increasingly conservative until we reached a fever pitch in the late 90s (remember the whole no evolution in classrooms debacle? Embarrassing.) Moderates and liberals have been fighting for the state ever since, and have managed to gain some ground.

So anyway. Check yourself, son. Kansas is no ordinary backwater.
13
@12 Thanks for the history/context.
14
well here i am. i started the group Sam Brownback? Quit brownbacking Kansas! and here's the definition i just submitted to urbandictionary.

brownback
1. viscous adhesion of fecal residues on posterior surface of passive partner following unsolicited, aggressive anal intercourse
2. to metaphorically insert the human head so far up an anal orifice due to conservative extremism to accomplish a complete disappearance of all intelligent reasoning
3. term used by gay community for unprotected anal sex.

"When Sam finishes with Kansas, he wants to brownback the whole world. All in the name of his imaginary friend."

Often used in passive construction as in:

“The people of Kansas are being brownbacked by their governor.”

if it is true there is no greater flattery than imitation then my gratitude and admiration for what dan savage has accomplished can be seen clearly. i studied linguistics. what dan did is nearly genius.

to diminish one's opponent by reducing them to ridicule is a psych-ops tactic which should not be underestimated. nor should anyone delude themselves with some sense of propriety over neologisms. we are allies in this battle and splitting such hairs wastes both our time.

given the readership of this column i would like to address the fact that i am a heterosexual male. regardless of what brings you pleasure or not i have the same rights that you have for my sexual preferences. i do not wish to diminish or ridicule your acts of love. the only purpose here is to take a seriously self righteous hypocrite and associate him publicly with an act which he himself finds reprehensible.

this ass-breather sam brownback's just using kansas as a stepping stone toward larger political aspirations. best to stop him now before he brownbacks the rest of the country. because if this fuck becomes president you are going to miss w.
15
"Well, it is governor is named Brownback" makes no sense.

*its
16
@15 - was miss grundy cruel?