Comments

1
I know, right? When I go to pick up a pizza someplace, it's really just an excuse to go hang out with the employees at the store.

"So, like, have you ever actually met Papa Murphy? What's he like? .... how's the pepperoni today?"
2
Get off my lawn, Paul.
3
Umm... what about the poor suckers in line behind her. This thing takes forever! How is this helping anybody. Argghhh. There is no way I'm putting one of these on my lawn.
4
Finally! I've been waiting for pizza to become a convenience food.
5
"Our specially formulated dough is a low transfat formula."

I was also thrilled to hear that it was designed with health and safety in mind.
6
That is not appropriate pizza-eat attire, Jennifer.
7
Maybe we don't like interacting with other people, but the internet is not a good evidence for that. The internet is all about interacting with other people. If I weren't so lazy, I'd find a link to a hilarious quote from I think William Gibson in which he describes the internet as people partially waking up and vaguely patting at one another after having been zombified by TV.
8
@7. OK, it was not Gibson but Bruce Sterling:
"I actually think that television bears a much, much heavier blame (for a sense of isolation) than the Internet. On the Internet, people are talking to other individuals. With Television, you've got an entire population narcotized by emanations from a central command point... The Internet is like a sign of a bunch of zombies with salt in their mouths and their lips sewn shut actually rising from the grave, vaguely sort of patting one another... I think it's actually something of a positive development."

Hey, SLOG commentariat, sounds to me like Sterling has been lurking here. He's got our number.
9
Hell is other people?
10
I think we answered that question in this very blog not that long ago. Humans in Seattle "just don't like interacting with people all that much."

http://www.thestranger.com/slog/archives…
11
It is a very fucked up sign when even shitty minimum-wage jobs can be replaced by a machine (which was undoubtedly built in China). Our economy is doomed.
12
low trans fat formula!
13
I saw an episode of How It's Made about these machines. They are apparently big in Italy.
14
@1 - Very good. You got me laughing on that one.
15
You know what else sucks?

Trying to listen to an "album" on a streaming site when they've made all the individual songs into mp3s.

The sound keeps stopping between the tracks...which is ok if you think of an album as something by Rhianna where there's two hit songs and a bunch of crap that has nothing to do with the rest of it.

But if you're listening to "On the Threshold of a Dream" by the Moody Blues, like I am now, what you expect is that the little grove continues between the tracks and actually has some sound on it to link them together.

16
I didn't know Eugene Mirman was narrating sales films.
17
Holy crap what a terrible idea.

Also the pizza clearly doesn't have enough sauce on it.
18
So it par-cooks the crust? Horrible idea. The best part of a pizza is the gooey no man's land between sauce and crust. Not that I'm expecting this thing to poop out VPN or anything, but come on! Have some standards.
19
Did I just hear the guy say "white pizza" right after saying cheese pizza?
20
@19

Yeah. It's a different sauce.
22
I think they built these machines for convenience. People can always go to the pizzeria and talk to the employee there.

What if it's two o'clock in the morning, I am hungry and the pizzeria is closed?
23
It's not that we don't like interacting with people all that much, it's that we don't like paying employees all that much.
24
"low trans-fat formula" will only "slightly increase your risk of major cardiac episode" I love it!
25
pizza is only as good as the charlaton that sells it to you. Via Tribunali is horrible shit that no one in their right mind would buy a slice of in NY
26
"The box has... vents that make it easy for Jennifer to open."

Could we be a little more condescending to Jennifer, please?

"The machine jangles keys in front of Jennifer to keep her entertained while her pizza cooks."
27
@26

Have you spent any time with your average American before? They constantly require "entertainment" or they bitch that they're "bored." Good news is, most of them come already equipped with an iPhone pacifier.

@2 FTW
28
This machine is a health dept. nightmare.
29
Yet another surface we can cram a telescreen on. Thank the Party!

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