State Legislator Testifies That His Opposition to Same-Sex Marriage Came to Him from a Commercial for Jack in the Box

Comments

Jumbaco!

asteria on February 9, 2012 at 5:05 PM

I'm pretty sure Jack is Transgender.

If it weren't for the Styrofoam injections, he'd revert to being she.

Will in Seattle on February 9, 2012 at 5:06 PM

I can think of a whole rash of people I'd just as soon my loved ones not marry- racists, social conservatives, venture capitalists, etc. I can't think of a single reason why my bias against those groups of people should play a deciding role in legislating who my loved ones actually marry, and whether or not those groups- much as I sort of generally don't like them- have access to the full spectrum of legal rights which I enjoy as a person who is in a "traditional" marriage.

Kumquat on February 9, 2012 at 5:09 PM

Because nobody in the history of heterosexual marriage has ever married someone of whom their mother disapproved.

And that should be written into law.

Lymis on February 9, 2012 at 5:22 PM

I just don't have the time to waste watching teh stupid, but seriously? THIS is this numbnut's excuse for opposing Marriage Equality?!?

And nobody on the floor of the House actually had the temerity to laugh out loud?

COMTE on February 9, 2012 at 5:40 PM

I knew when I saw that ad, somebody was going to drag it into this debate. Tool is right.

Teslick on February 9, 2012 at 5:44 PM

Oh, it's the whole "If gay people can marry than a guy can marry bacon" argument.

He' convinced me. I've been wrong all these years. Where do I sign the petition?

passionate_jus on February 9, 2012 at 5:45 PM

And here, when I saw that ad on TV, I thought its entire purpose was to show the "soon people will be marrying their toasters!" arguers just how fucking stupid they are.

"Conservatives" really don't get satire. Or humor.

MLM on February 9, 2012 at 5:46 PM

You may now eat the bride.

kathy. on February 9, 2012 at 5:48 PM

@9 - Seconded. It's so clearly lampooning that whole 'slippery slope' hysteria.

I'm actually kinda embarrassed for this guy... Erm, did you think Jack-in-the-Box was SERIOUSLY making a statement about same-sex marriage? You DID?!!?

Oh honey...

merry on February 9, 2012 at 6:00 PM

@11 "Oh honey..."

I KNOW, RIGHT?

When I seek guidance in my moral, spiritual and legislative decisions, I look to the wisdom of a fast-food chain, whose mascot is a guy with a giant Styrofoam ball for a head. This seems logical. And sane.

MLM on February 9, 2012 at 6:08 PM

I look forward to the day that bacon can voice their consent to be married and be found to have a clear understanding of what their consent will mean...

...although, in an age of sentient bacon, breakfast might become a little weird.

pg13 on February 9, 2012 at 6:08 PM

Wedding vows should always end with "you may now eat the bride"

Granny Smith on February 9, 2012 at 6:13 PM

Apropos of nothing, Hargrove reminds me of Howard Hesseman.

Howard Hesseman has made me laugh a lot over the years.

rob! on February 9, 2012 at 6:27 PM

Oh wow, he's specifically against my marriage. How cruel.

Baconcat on February 9, 2012 at 6:38 PM

This asshat also made a point to say that he has been married and never divorced, and the same for his brothers and sisters, but he has had two brothers in law or step brothers or something that had AIDS, so this is a very personal issue for him.

Because, you know, gay = AIDS.

michaelp on February 9, 2012 at 6:58 PM

A guy I went to school with (Kevin Parker) who is a state rep for Spokane mentioned that he is opposed to the bill as it would force churches to marry gay couples. Yep! And for the record I took two classes with Mr. Parker back in the day and that comment is actually somewhat coherent for the little bigot. So to hear a Jack in the Box commercial being used by these idiots is really not shocking at all.

Cato the Younger Younger on February 9, 2012 at 7:32 PM

Anyone else see that Toyota commercial?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9L-8372A…

I like how the guy is like "Eh, I could get into that" about the couch o' dudes. Of course, everyone who saw this commercial is now bi-sexual.

PoliGeek on February 9, 2012 at 7:47 PM

@4: You meant to say a whole rasher of people, right? Right? *nudge nudge*

Knat on February 9, 2012 at 9:19 PM

@14: god I so want to go to a wedding where "you may now eat the bride" ends the ceremony. Better yet if they film the eating. (Hump! I smell an award winning Hump! A take-off on the commercial, w/a pair of brides and ending in a massive, exploding orgasm munch-off.)

gnossos on February 9, 2012 at 9:43 PM

Hold it. If he's marrying bacon, why is the bride a bacon cheeseburger? Too tough for them to be consistently on message for thirty damn seconds?

This ad is bound to immanentize THE BACONBURGPOCALYPSE. And then where will we be, hmm?

rainbird on February 9, 2012 at 10:15 PM

Speaking of commercials, I'm seeing Rick Santorum ads in the column off to the right. Santorum ads on SLOG? That's a good waste of SuperPAC funds.

rainbird on February 9, 2012 at 10:17 PM

Dear Mark Hargrove, how would you feel if your daughter told you that she was getting married to Newt Gingrich?

midwaypete on February 9, 2012 at 10:32 PM

Imagine the tension if the guy in the commercial had said, Mom, actually it's not a white girl. In that one second, a lot of people, including me, would realize that the mom was realizing that it's NOT a real for marriage for a perfectly normal young white man to marry a, well, you know.

peterga on February 9, 2012 at 10:36 PM

P.S. It's pretty sad when even Jack in the Box commercials are too highbrow for some legislators to get the ironic point of view.

peterga on February 9, 2012 at 10:38 PM

Sorry gay people, you can't get married - this guy saw a stirring fast food commercial. Maybe if you're lucky though Wendy's will put out an effective rebuttal at some point and win him over.

Schmapdi on February 9, 2012 at 10:42 PM

Well, it makes more sense than the fucking Bible

Pmasp on February 9, 2012 at 11:47 PM

What, gay marriage leads to cannibalism?

seatackled on February 10, 2012 at 12:04 AM

@16

Condolences, Baconcat.

seatackled on February 10, 2012 at 12:05 AM

Goyishe naches.

venomlash on February 10, 2012 at 12:59 AM

Mark Hargrove is a very insightful and intelligent patriot. I heard him on John Carlson's show talking about this very subject, and I wish there were more hard traditionalists who would resist the homosexualization of Washington, for it is the most crucial step towards Marxist Fascist tyrannt.

Lord Basil on February 10, 2012 at 1:58 AM

That's hilarious.

Sandiai on February 10, 2012 at 3:19 AM

May the bacon was from a boy pig, making this a man on man-bacon marriage?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bs81piYG2…

Rob in Baltimore on February 10, 2012 at 3:53 AM

I don't know about the rest of you, but I often confuse my husband with a BLT burger.

Clayton on February 10, 2012 at 6:57 AM

So Hargrove got all that out of a 31 second commercial, huh? Speechless.

Patricia Kayden on February 10, 2012 at 7:22 AM

@22 The bride is the bacon. The cheeseburger is her wedding dress.

Camembert on February 10, 2012 at 7:57 AM

It's been done.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bs81piYG2…

--MC on February 10, 2012 at 8:49 AM

@19- Yeah, I was surprised there was no backlash about that. So Toyota commercial, Jack In The Box baconsexual ad, Madonna halftime show...gayest Superbowl ever?

dwightmoodyforgetsthings on February 10, 2012 at 10:21 AM

As an avowed Xtianist, shouldn't he be railing against the promotion of bacon (pork), when the Bible clearly prohibits its consumption?
I guess if bacon-marrying is allowed, there won't be much oral sex going on.

StewieTO on February 10, 2012 at 12:41 PM

@32: 놀라운 이야기, 형.

venomlash on February 10, 2012 at 12:46 PM

this guy is cacapoopoo

Ian Awesome on February 10, 2012 at 1:42 PM

Bacophobia: the final frontier.

RonK, Seattle on February 10, 2012 at 2:45 PM

*head desk*

God DAMN you, Geoff Simpson. It's YOUR fault this clueless fuckstick is sitting in YOUR seat in the 47th. God DAMN it. (In case you can't tell, I'm in the 47th, and Geoff managed to get himself embroiled in some ugly accusations during his divorce, and lost his seat. Geoff was a good legislator. I make no claims about his ability as a husband.) So now I'm stuck with THIS asshole representing me. This asshole, who doesn't even see the irony of trying to make an argument about something mostly condemned in Leviticus based on a BACON CHEESEBURGER. Leviticus had some pretty pointed things to say about putting cheese on your burger, not to mention bacon on anything. But I don't hear him condemning THAT.

God, I am so embarrassed for my district right now.

Geni on February 10, 2012 at 4:14 PM

(And even the PTA basically concluded that Hargrove lost a few tiles on re-entry to earth orbit after their endorsement interview with him. The man is not the sharpest crayon in the box.)

Geni on February 10, 2012 at 4:16 PM

Maybe he shouldn't be allowed to legislate while hungry?

on February 10, 2012 at 5:49 PM

State Legislator Testifies That His Opposition to Same-Sex Marriage Came to Him from a Commercial for Jack in the Box

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