Hoping This Is a Hoax


Any idiot knows Macbooks are the gayest notebooks. Give him a Dell if you want to straighten him out.

"OK son, here's your new Retina Macbook Pro, now no fooling around with dudes"

"Sure thing dad, this chunk of metal and glass completely relieves my desire for big throbbing cock"
It is better than the old-fashion beat downs I got from dear old dad.
Well this has to be the most offensive thing of the year
Better to bribe your kid into staying in the closet than beating him back into the closed. Boy won't dad be surprised in a few years when he finds out the bribe didn't last past his son's 18th birthday.
I'm hoping this kid is really just a smooth operator and knows exactly what he's doing, and that he's counting the minutes until he's 18. If not...this is awful.
Ask Dad if he can "reward" you with out-of-state tuition.
Holy FUCK.
I hope that kid milks the deal for all it's worth. Then he can show his boyfriends all his shiny toys in the future.
What makes this seem hoaxiest is that not even the dumbest homophobe would think for a moment he might need to tell any backstory whatsoever to sell a good condition MBP. Garden variety jerkweed in his mom's basement making up a phony ad to troll for outraged replies.
Yeah, I think the out of state tuition is the bribe to go for, myself. Gah.
Wait...you are buying your son an instrument used mainly to look at porn and coordinate hookups...sorry I meant do homework...yeah yeah...it's for homework. wink wink nudge nudge
I am on board with hopefully bilking the bigoted parents if this is real. Good call on the out of state tuition.
@9: Well, yeah, duh.

But why let that ruin a good post about an apparently outrageous craigslist ad?

Rather than a new computer, he should go for bigger-ticket, "straighter" rewards that hold their value - a Corvette and lots of guns. All very resellable once he turns 18 and want to put the proceeds into a Saab or Prius and into decorating his out-of-state dorm room.
It's only sinful to lie with man as you would a woman, not to furiously jerk it to hot man-on-man action online. Really, it's a service.

(For anyone making the obvious Onan rebuttal: Onan's sin was in wasting seed that was destined for procreation, which clearly none of his son's seed is destined for)
That kid is a genius and he is totally fooling his dad into buying him shit.lmao Good job, kid. Your dad is a terrible person and awful parent and I'm glad the kid is clearly emptying his pockets.
Um, are they gonna get him the Pro with a *retina* display?

Because for that I might go straight.

Straight to the HD gay porn!
I am unfortunately not shocked by either possibility:
1. Legit ad from a completely clueless parent.
2. Cynical troll with the creativity to come up with this.

Both are horrible.
I'm hoping it's this guy: http://dontevenreply.com/

He's hilarious...
Hahahahahaha I hope his kid uses his brand new laptop to watch oodles of gay porn with gigantic, throbbing gay cocks.

But seriously, spoiling his kid is the least of this dad's worries.
Seems spendy to me ... maybe a scaled-down example of the "I paid $1,500 for this computer six years ago, so I'm willing to let it go for only $1,000" syndrome in effect.

Wish my dad had bought me porn machines to get me to stop doing the things he didn't want me doing. Which was mostly looking at naked lady pictures.
Logical side: This is like the $500 cookie recipe, driving traffic to an otherwise perfectly boring ad. There is no reason the ad need say anything beyond "Macbook Pro, $1300 firm. Works great; looking to upgrade." I'm not even my family's techie and I know you sell the old machine AFTER copying your files onto the new one, not to clear space for a machine you're going to get in a few months.

Fun side: Okay Mom, if you buy me a computer with a faster internet connection I promise to only do straight stuff with it. The internet turned me straight!
Kid should hold out for a new BMW...nothing gay about wanting a new 3 series! Nope, the most hetro car on the road.
Culver City is in Los Angeles.

Los Angeles -- where even homophobic parents would know better than to to outright troll bait like that.

Might think it, might do it. Not likely to announce it on Craig's List.

Not in L.A.
Well, this is the type of thing you would expect from a person who lives in Culver City. It's (how should I say it?) the inside elbow of the LA Basin. The armpits would be the cities of Vernon and Maywood, and the crotch would be (of course) Lynwood/Compton.
Agree with @15. That kid is going to be the gayest, most tech-decked-out student at his private college.
Huh, trolling Craigslist. How much fun can it be if you don't get to watch your bait spawn public outrage?
This is why we...can have nice things...?
I've known people who "went straight" for MIT tuition, for a Miata, for a Land Rover, and even for emancipated status. Milk it, kid. Heh heh. Milk it.
@8 Yes. All 856,924 of his boyfriends. Because he's a masturbatory retard, just like everyone else with a piece of meat dangling between their thighs. Exactly.
Oh please. This is the fakest thing in faketown. Probably a way to collect email addresses of the terminally naive and/or outraged.
It's probably a hoax. Why would a paranoid, overprotective mother of any stripe blast her son's private business all over Craigslist, ESPECIALLY if she thought it was shameful? Some drama hog is getting off on this.
Putting homophobic, stupid parents at ease until you bilk them for a college tuition AND getting new apple products every year? Sign me up.
While Culver City is in greater LA, there's no guarantee any place is going to be particularly gay friendly. You would expect an overall higher level of awareness and general acceptance in LA versus many places in the midwest, but just as you'll find perfectly good pockets of places in the midwest, you will find intolerant places in LA too. I weigh in as an LA native.
@26 But you DO get to watch it. On slog, for example. Probably also on other pages that post responses.

And I agree with everyone else who says this is a hoax. If the story was true, the parent would be keeping it secret.
Sounds like a win-win for the kid. He keeps on gayin, and gets a new computer!
On one hand,

* Culver City is immediately south of West Hollywood (the Gayest area of LA, right)?
* On the other hand, Culver City is in LA (the crazy and delusional capital of the USA, right)?
* Houses in LA are so big and separate, that all kinds of crazy could "co-exist" in that city without even realizing it.
So the son is gay, and they punish him by giving him 15 inches?

Didn't I see this in a porn once?
Oh man, I am laughing and crying at the same time! That is some hilariously stupid shit right there. If it weren't for the kid involved this would be one of the funniest things I have ever seen on the Internet. But (if this is on the level and there is a real young man with a dad like this out there) it is one of the saddest things I have seen in a while.
Next, hit him up for a BMW and a trip to Europe for your birthday. Then after you graduate, introduce your new Spanish boyfriend, Milo, to dear old dad. And then thank him for the trip to Europe, without which you wouldn't have had hours and hours of gay sex.
Either a hoax or a kid who figured out how to game his stupid parents for free stuff.

Although it is odd that they would expect lots of messages about spoiling the kid, but not for the homophobia/idiocy. Probably a hoax.
JCPenny, Danny's favorite Gayest retailer, has lost a third of its value this year and has suspended its dividend.

cum on, girls- shop till you drop!
He is totally milking dad for new stuff. I'd love to see dad's face when Junior comes out and gives an armload of expensive stuff to his boyfriend.
While I have to go with Hoax on this one, there is the cynical part of me that recognizes that there really are people this stupid out there, so you never know. Even if this is a hoax, there is probably some parent somewhere out there who actually has done something like this, but just not posted about it in a craigslist ad.
Daddy is being taken for a ride. But, hey, if everybody is happy, what the hell.
Damn it! I'm 29 and my parents LOVE, Love, love my boyfriend. Think it's too late to work this scam? I really need some new stuff.
Funny, I thought the same thing watching the new Apple products video: "Who's dick do I have to suck to get one of those?"

Have you ever been to LA? All of your bullet points are pretty far off. Culver City is also the least "LA" part of LA. (and technically, not part of LA, but it's own city.)
Hey Dan,

It's a hoax - I've been talking to the high school kid who did it for half the day.

Actually, I hope its true, and I hope that the kid is smart enough to realize that he should not feel one instant of shame for taking his bigoted parents to the cleaners. Then the red hot minute he turns 18 or no longer needs their money, he should be like "thanks for putting me through med school... and by the way, I'm still totally gay."
@9 While it has turned out to be a hoax, I think you're overestimating the intelligence of the average human. If people all had sense, then conversion therapy wouldn't exist. I can totally see where a stupid parent would try to convert their kid's sexual orientation with money/gifts if religion wasn't working.

I know people who cannot add three and four without a calculator. I know people who work in accounting departments but don't know what the word "cumulative" means. Seriously, people are stupid. You may not see it, because intellectuals tend to hang out with other intellectuals, but trust me. People stupid enough to try to bribe their kids into being straight actually do exist. (Not saying this has actually happened, just that there are people who are stupid enough to try it.)

No I haven't been to LA.
Dan, are you shopping for a computer?
told ya,

i live in l,a, and while there are certainly pockets of homophobia here, i knew from the way it was written, it had to be a hoax.
Holy shit, I hope this is real, and that kid is the fucking smartest kid in America.