Books Aug 2, 2012 at 4:47 pm

This Word Must Die

Paul Constant
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Comments

1
Then what will Chris Traeger say?
Jason Josephes on August 2, 2012 at 4:52 PM Report this
2
I am literally confused to death by this.
Daily in LA on August 2, 2012 at 4:53 PM Report this
3
I am figuratively over the moon with this post!
Soupytwist on August 2, 2012 at 4:53 PM Report this
4

Rilly !

Supreme Ruler Of The Universe on August 2, 2012 at 4:54 PM Report this
5
Please also add 'basically' to the list.
Dr_Awesome on August 2, 2012 at 4:59 PM Report this
6
I *really* agree. Adjectives are very easily overused. Usually, the -ly words basically clutter up the writing.
on August 2, 2012 at 5:10 PM Report this
7
@1 beat me to it. I love the way Chris Traeger says it: "Litch-ra-lly"
lizlemon on August 2, 2012 at 5:11 PM Report this
8
So, you put your foot down on using the word 'literally,' but you'll still post every gossipy, inane flotsam uttered about Sarah Palin?
rootwinterguard on August 2, 2012 at 5:13 PM Report this
9
Basically, I'm actually literally loverly with adverbs.
I have always been... east coaster on August 2, 2012 at 5:23 PM Report this
10
awesome
tainte on August 2, 2012 at 5:28 PM Report this
11
I am literally enthralled by the Blue Angles.

Oh, and those jet guys too.
Will in Seattle on August 2, 2012 at 5:36 PM Report this
12
You also use "disingenuous" and "hopefully" as flabby placeholders way more than you used to. Some commenter gave me shit for pointing and laughing at it the other day, which pleased me.
gloomy gus on August 2, 2012 at 5:51 PM Report this
13
This post is literally Hitler.

And no, I won't stop making 'literally' jokes. I prefer the humor to actual progress.
Hover Dog on August 2, 2012 at 6:11 PM Report this
14
@8, it's flotsam and jetsam. Flotsam used alone is actually wrong.
sarah70 on August 2, 2012 at 6:12 PM Report this
15
This literally made me want to jump the shark.
Cato the Younger Younger on August 2, 2012 at 6:18 PM Report this
16
@14: I heard 'flotsam' used by itself on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Given that, it must be a perfectly cromulent word.
rootwinterguard on August 2, 2012 at 6:18 PM Report this
17
No comment until Brian Boitano makes his opinion known.
Karlheinz Arschbomber on August 2, 2012 at 6:19 PM Report this
18
@14 Also: my 1944 Websters New Int'l Dictionary says you're wrong.
rootwinterguard on August 2, 2012 at 6:21 PM Report this
19
The comments on this post were literally predictable
Urgutha Forka on August 2, 2012 at 6:34 PM Report this
20
This is literally the dumbest Slog post all week.
suddenlyorcas on August 2, 2012 at 6:52 PM Report this
21
18: I think you need to stay away from the thesaurus. You sound like one of those Glen Beck fans who bust out the dictionary anytime they need an archaic or rarely used word to underline their purported intelligence.
on August 2, 2012 at 7:19 PM Report this
22
Disagree. "Literally" can be hilarious when used correctly. Misuse should be punishable by stockade.
Patrick McGrath on August 2, 2012 at 7:20 PM Report this
23
@2, 9, 11, 13, 15, 18, 19, & 20 Up against the wall, all of you!
Xenos on August 2, 2012 at 7:23 PM Report this
24
rootwinterguard, way to stand up for those fantastic words. Bravo.
gloomy gus on August 2, 2012 at 7:26 PM Report this
25
But I miss "literally" already! Could I use litter-ily? As in: I litter-ily threw my phone out the car window after reading the post? Or maybe: The driver behind me had to be litter-ily carried away on a stretcher? How about liter-ily: The paramedics liter-ily saved the driver using blood transfusion? Or: The tallest paramedic was leader-ily a foot taller than the rest of us and liter-airily exhaled orders as the victim rolled latterally into the maw of a medical system that would looter-ily and littler-ily resize his bank accounts? I picture you with flames shooting from your ears, lit-ear-ily and lit-eerily longing leeringly that "literally" has been laid direly in its literary grave. But it's, you know, a little early.
rubus on August 2, 2012 at 7:56 PM Report this
26
I'm going to start saying "laterally" instead.
Zebes on August 2, 2012 at 7:58 PM Report this
27
@16, OMG like I read your comment and I'm seriously sorry about my claim.
sarah70 on August 2, 2012 at 8:22 PM Report this
28
I have no problem with the use of the word "literally" as long as it's literally used correctly...
TreGibbs on August 2, 2012 at 9:18 PM Report this
29
I'm with you, Paul.
Puty on August 2, 2012 at 9:28 PM Report this
30
Once I wrote a column (back when I wrote a column) with "literally" in every sentence. Literally!

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/night…

Christopher Frizzelle on August 2, 2012 at 10:02 PM Stranger Staff
31
Language peeving is literally the least attractive trait that educated people can have.
kpt on August 2, 2012 at 11:14 PM Report this
32
@30: Thank you for making it evident in the first two sentences that reading any further would be a complete waste of time.

@31: Yes! Thank you!

seandr on August 2, 2012 at 11:26 PM Report this
33
@26 I just laterally shat myself laughing.
katallred on August 2, 2012 at 11:49 PM Report this
34
Can we also get rid of the language hic "like.."
[Like] Seriously, we need to make that go away.
fotoeve on August 3, 2012 at 12:48 AM Report this
35
Mr. Constant, why stop there? Let's struggle to walk with care around adverbs in general...
Laurence Ballard on August 3, 2012 at 4:36 AM Report this
36
"Literally" is the new "totally."
on August 3, 2012 at 5:06 AM Report this
37
Eh...it's six in one.
It is what it is.
tacomagirl on August 3, 2012 at 6:26 AM Report this
38
Sarah70 @ 14 Flotsam is the wreckage of a ship, Jetsam is stuff purposefully thrown overboard. The words may be used together most of the time but that doesn't mean they don't exist as separate useable words. You're wrong. What intrigues me is how you thought you could be so correct.

While we're on the topic of certainty and banishment, I submit for your consideration the phrase "I know! Right?" This appears to mean "I corroborate your assertion with certainty, but I just want to confirm your approval because my certainty is contingent upon you liking me."

weak-dick bullshit.
JAT on August 3, 2012 at 7:16 AM Report this
39
Boring topic.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn on August 3, 2012 at 7:22 AM Report this
40
@38 lighten up. She was corrected and she responded gracefully. You, however, come across as a jerk.

Your post was literally informative up until the third sentence. Then, instead of leaving readers thinking, ‘huh, now I know something I didn't before,’ readers are left thinking, ‘huh, he's such a jackass.’

Lighten up and quit being so aggressive. This is SLOG for [god's] sake, not redit.
Allyn on August 3, 2012 at 7:45 AM Report this
41
@40 Sorry everyone. I missed the graceful response and my jackass just overflowed.

I'll crawl back into my lair of bitterness now.
JAT on August 3, 2012 at 7:49 AM Report this
42
@41 all's well. Keep us informed, we like to learn new things.
Allyn on August 3, 2012 at 7:52 AM Report this
43
@41: I too have the problem with Jackass-overflow. Some day, someone will make a support group for people like us.
rootwinterguard on August 3, 2012 at 8:41 AM Report this
44
Hi, my name is clashfan and I'm a jackass. I've been jackassery-free for three days now.
clashfan on August 3, 2012 at 9:45 AM Report this
45
Who the fuck cares about this? It's an invented outrage that serves to differentiate the elite from the not elite on linguistic terms.
Asparagus! on August 3, 2012 at 9:48 AM Report this
46
@12 I was literally only giving you friendly shit about it - a tease, if you will. (I am totally not being disingenuous when I say that, either.) Hopefully you'll pick up on that next time.
More, I Say! on August 3, 2012 at 9:49 AM Report this
47
@38, I once met a girl who claimed to have coined the term 'I know, right?"

...

...I know, right?
More, I Say! on August 3, 2012 at 9:53 AM Report this
48
@45, I distinguish people who at least attempt to use proper grammar (spelling, punctuation, etc.) from those who do not. I do make judgments about their education level, and sometimes their intelligence, from these markers. I'm not going to apologize for that.
clashfan on August 3, 2012 at 10:01 AM Report this
49
@48

Overused words, who's colloquial meaning is somewhat different than their dictionary meaning, aren't grammar, and aren't spelling. Most of these words are completely benign, and using "literally" in casual speech doesn't say anything about educational level or intelligence. It's a ham handed and completely invent shibboleth wielded by people who need to feel some artificial sense of linguistic superiority.

If we're strictly speaking about widespread grammatical errors, then I agree, something needs to be done, but I don't think a war on malaprop and colloquialism is the best use of time in that regard.
Asparagus! on August 3, 2012 at 10:24 AM Report this
50
I'm Back!
@45,48 apparently the Books editor of the Stranger disagrees to some extent. Shibboleth - fantastic word, but (in the modern sense at least) the same could be said of your "elite"-dropping.

Either language has meaning (and we're judged by it) or it is just space-consuming self-important spew without meaning. I've been judged to be a jack ass; I'll cop to that. But if anyone thought I was literally a jack ass then they were actually doofuses.
JAT on August 3, 2012 at 10:57 AM Report this
51
oops - 45 & 49, that is.
JAT on August 3, 2012 at 10:58 AM Report this

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