News Jul 12, 2013 at 8:35 am

Sharknado 2: The Quality Inn & Suites at Seattle Center Coming to a Theater Near You: Your Friday Morning News

Jen Graves
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Comments

1
How drunk do you have to be to think that getting into a murky pool is a good idea?
treehugger on July 12, 2013 at 8:58 AM Report this
2
So a guy begins to flail around in an indoor pool despite 'being a good swimmer'. His friend, who cannot swim, goes to the front desk for help. Instead of finding someone who can fetch the man from the pool, they call 911 and firefighters poke at the water with sticks (nobody here can swim?) for 15 minutes and then give up. 3 hours later we realize the guy's still in the pool and begin CPR.

What the fuck?
gatecrasher on July 12, 2013 at 9:10 AM Report this
3
How drunk do you have to be to properly enjoy Sharknado?
Reverse Polarity on July 12, 2013 at 9:15 AM Report this
4
@3 - 4 vodka tonics was not enough.....,
StuckInUtah on July 12, 2013 at 9:17 AM Report this
5
Mia farrow looks happier than Phillip Roth, or wait, does he have a Mona Lisa grin going on?
dnt trust me on July 12, 2013 at 9:35 AM Report this
6
I swam in that pool with about 50 post-bout rollergirls (and a bunch of empty beer cans) back in '06. I don't think it ever recovered.
Henry on July 12, 2013 at 9:38 AM Report this
7
I think "murky" is a little bit of an understatement. Can't see an adult Ethiopian at the bottom of an 8 foot indoor pool?
Sir Vic on July 12, 2013 at 9:42 AM Report this
8
@7, that's what I don't get. "Look how you can't see the bottom of this shitty-ass pool! Let's jump in!" And the detail that when the retired firefighter finally poked enough to find the body THERE WERE STILL PEOPLE IN THAT FUCKING POOL SWIMMING AROUND.
TomJohnsonJr on July 12, 2013 at 9:46 AM Report this
9
@4 - When is it ever?
MacCrocodile on July 12, 2013 at 9:47 AM Report this
10
The needless drowning notwithstanding (as if there were a needful drowning) is announced on the front page of Seattle Times: MAN DIES IN HOTEL POOL WITH SPOTTY RECORD. A well-trained journalism student would be asked: Who has the spotty record, the man, the hotel or the pool? Jesus Blethen!
Rhett Oracle on July 12, 2013 at 10:25 AM Report this
11
I really wish Barack would stop texting me about playing hoops, I hate having to say no when he does a secret fly by into Boeing.

Seriously. I know the job's a lot of pressure, but ...
Will in Seattle on July 12, 2013 at 10:32 AM Report this
12
@3 @4 try making pitchers of Margaritas, those are perfect.
Will in Seattle on July 12, 2013 at 10:33 AM Report this
13
I drank a pitcher of Margaritas once. I spent the next couple of hours in the bar's bathroom, convinced I could speak fluent Spanish.
originalcinner on July 12, 2013 at 10:36 AM Report this
14
But according to Slog conventional wisdom, I thought things like this only happened in Tulsa.
raindrop on July 12, 2013 at 11:06 AM Report this
16
Because guns really do make you safer:
http://www.breitbart.com/InstaBlog/2013/…
Fifty-Two-Eighty on July 12, 2013 at 11:48 AM Report this
17
@16: Breitbart? That's the best you can do?
originalcinner on July 12, 2013 at 12:26 PM Report this
18
Yeah, I'm sure they just made up the story.
Fifty-Two-Eighty on July 12, 2013 at 1:00 PM Report this
19
@17: Yes that's why the U.S. has a much lower crime rate than Canada, oh wait that's wrong.
Merchant Seaman on July 12, 2013 at 1:02 PM Report this
20
@12:

Pitchers of Margaritas? why not just Tequila (or any other Mescal) neat?
Or better yet how about Jim Beam neat?
Or if you must mix how about a Manhattan, or a Martini?
Merchant Seaman on July 12, 2013 at 1:05 PM Report this
21
Cool to know that sharks growl like lions when they're out of the water.
Michael of the Green on July 12, 2013 at 4:22 PM Report this
22
Oh, and also there were pro-democracy protests in Egypt involving hundreds of thousands of people.

I guess Jen Graves isn't interested in massive pro-democracy street protests in Egypt anymore?
robotslave on July 12, 2013 at 6:44 PM Report this

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