Not much of a
...wait for it...
STUMP SPEECH.

*furious masturbation hand gesture*

You fucking hippies wouldn't know what to do with a stump if it bit you.

I've got a nice black walnut stump here. It'll make some nice knife handles.

Cottonwood? Not so much.

@3 Does that crap even burn well? I grew up along the Highline Canal, so I have nostalgia for those things, but cottonwoods seem to be useless.

Yeah, they're pretty useless.

@4 - Cottonwood is useful for keeping you up to date about Tammy's love life.

Not totally useless besides juicy gossip, either, though these (text-search "cottonwood" on that page), like Debbie, just sit there and look pretty.

I once salvaged a 150-lb. cottonwood burl for a friend who makes wood clock faces, but I didn't know how to treat the wood and just stuck it on a pallet. It grew a spectacular orange fungus on the cut surface and covered everything in my garage with orange spores like rust.

Got burl?

You've inspired others. As seen on the SLOG, A stump, Free

https://seattle.craigslist.org/tac/zip/4…