And here I was sure Dan's response would be something to the effect of: "Unlike male bisexuals, successful nonmonogamous relationships, and straight men who enjoy getting pegged by their girlfriends, zombies do not exist."
Really though, the worst problem is rotting body parts falling off indiscriminately. I imagine dangly cocks would not have much holding them to the rest of the zombie, so those would probably be the first to go. Most likely the slightest tug of friction would separate them from their owner. Not. Pretty.
At the same time, if I were a zombie, I'd rather be stapled to a bedframe and screwed occasionally than be shot in the head, dragged into a pile with all my shot in the head zombie friends, and set on fire.
can we hope you are posting this stale old drivel because you are feverishly researching mormonism trying to come up with the name of a (any...) mormon prophet?
trying to dig yourself out of the outhouse pit you are wallowing in?
Can I just point out that very few zombie movies involve a specific appetite for brains? I can only think of a shitty one in the 80s with freakish puppet zombies. That talked. And new how to operate a radio.
Hacking the jaw off and leading them on chains to fend off other zombies though?
Badass. Do your best to find your way into the good graces of the katana wielding survivor who pulls that one off.
@12: Pretty sure the obvious joke is about Efron's blank screen presence and wooden delivery already lending themselves to a 'zombified' quality. He was in that Disney musical and Dan gets bitchy about those (not that he was wrong in this case). FWIW, he's way hotter now that he's not Tiger Beat bait. Better actor, too.
Mr. Ven @21: Just to be clear, Efron is not my celebrity crush and I would never nominate him for a Golden Globe. I just think he looks a lot better than he did in his proto-Bieber days- and he's not as gallingly stiff an actor.
Eh, I'm really not sure if consent is an issue with Zombies. Unlike animals, we don't owe Zombies any ethical considerations. It would be disgusting, and you'd be a gross dirt nasty freak and I hope you get Zombie-AIDS (which is WAY worse than regular AIDS), but in the Zombie we may have conceptualized the one thing that actually is un-rape-able.
nocutename @32: No judgment here, he is cute. Just clarifying my own position. But don't call me a low ho whilst besmirching my family name. That's just uncalled-for. : )
I think the key issue is whether the zombie will suffer if you fuck them. Are zombies capable of suffering? Are they in a perpetual state of suffering? Do they suffer when they feel violated or disempowered? Is death such a mercy for them that it is unethical to delay blowing their heads off for any reason?
If it's alive, it is incapable of consent. Do not fuck it.
If it's undead, I refuse to acknowledge that as a third state. Pick again.
Put a mouth guard on him and have fun.
My Little Ponies, in case you were wondering, wouldn't have any genitals of their own, so you can forget about that.
this tripe?
really?
can we hope you are posting this stale old drivel because you are feverishly researching mormonism trying to come up with the name of a (any...) mormon prophet?
trying to dig yourself out of the outhouse pit you are wallowing in?
get back to us soon.
Hacking the jaw off and leading them on chains to fend off other zombies though?
Badass. Do your best to find your way into the good graces of the katana wielding survivor who pulls that one off.
http://youtu.be/t0DQDlm6bYI
Aquitainesplaining:
Henry's bed is Henry's province; he can people it with sheep for all I care, which, on occasion, he has done.
Beautifully written and played. Much more interesting that the silly question.