Food & Drink Jul 17, 2014 at 2:42 pm

Good News! Apples Are Finally More Convenient!

Megan Seling
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Comments

1
"Blast off with the fully flavoured bite-sized healthy snack that's taking the planet by storm"

Sounds like an ad from 1995. All they need is Macho Man screaming at the top of his lungs.
Rotten666 on July 17, 2014 at 2:51 PM Report this
2
"(That's funny because "fruit blast" is what I call the inevitable diarrhea that follows my annual Rainer cherry binge.)"

I busted out laughing. Thank you Megan.
Hanoumatoi on July 17, 2014 at 2:53 PM Report this
3
There's a good cross-product tie-in here with the Squandr app. You need to be able to quickly and effortlessly find and meet other people who also would waste their money on packaged apples.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn on July 17, 2014 at 2:58 PM Report this
4
@2 Ha! You're very welcome. Also your comment made me realize I spelled Rainier wrong and have now corrected it, so thank YOU.
Megan Seling on July 17, 2014 at 2:58 PM Stranger Staff
5
i am the nipple tent.
on July 17, 2014 at 3:04 PM Report this
6
Basically what's happened here is that they are trying to find a way to market the smalls. Small fruit, especially small apples, are a real problem to orchards. They are worth much less per pound, and they are a burden for retail because people usually buy apples by the piece-- they sell slower. The old solution is to process the fruit-- either sliced apples (a huge market these days thanks to McDonald's and Costco), applesauce, or juice.

Eastpike on July 17, 2014 at 3:05 PM Report this
7
I appreciate any invention that makes use of all that wasted vertical space.
rhombus on July 17, 2014 at 3:10 PM Report this
8
duplicate of previous slog post.
Max Solomon on July 17, 2014 at 3:16 PM Report this
9
@6:

In other words, turning a traditionally low-value or waste product into a "value-added" product, as they say in the industry. Like how water used in food processing is repackaged as high-priced "natural artesian water" or how the runoff from cheese-making is dehydrated and resold as "dried whey product" to other food manufacturers.
COMTE on July 17, 2014 at 3:34 PM Report this
10
Yeah, let me echo the praise for your rainier comment. This is my favorite time of year, partly because of those damn cherries.
tainte on July 17, 2014 at 3:36 PM Report this
11
I don't understand the middle choice. Apples are a pretty neat (as in clean) food to begin with, they aren't a sandwich with too much sauce. If you need napkins when you eat an apple you are bad at apples.
Sinclair on July 17, 2014 at 4:09 PM Report this
12
I voted no and agree with Megan whole-heartedly (and also loved the diarrhea line. Classic.) That said, I could also see this hip, new packaging and X-treme marketing campaign appealing to some shit-brained segment of the consumer base and causing them to eat some apples. Which would be a good thing.
mikethehammer on July 17, 2014 at 4:21 PM Report this
13
*DOG MODE ENGAGED*
If I want to eat something packaged in a tube like that, I'll eat a tennis ball.
*DOG MODE DISENGAGED*
I was once so bored I bit a tennis ball.
venomlash on July 17, 2014 at 4:28 PM Report this
14
I always say, life is a bowl of cherries unless you eat the whole bowl.

Where are the apples from? Wondered if these were those dastardly imported apples.
lauramae on July 17, 2014 at 8:57 PM Report this
15
and while we're at it, what's up with Costco selling apples (and fucking movie tickets) in clamshell packaging.

too much plastic, people!
south downtown on July 17, 2014 at 9:31 PM Report this
16
Small apples taste better. If the stoopid packaging helps to eliminate the supermarket bias to giant, mealy, tasteless apples that would be not so bad.
AlanS on July 17, 2014 at 9:40 PM Report this
17
This is almost as bad as individually wrapped prunes. Almost.
gingersnap on July 17, 2014 at 11:58 PM Report this
18
This is like when they came out with individually plastic wrapped bananas a couple years ago. Luckily that seems to have gone by the wayside quickly. I just saw containers of individually wrapped dates on the grocery store shelf the other day. I feel like a container of dates is sufficient. Each one doesn't need to be wrapped too.
Root on July 18, 2014 at 7:06 AM Report this
19
@6 Actually not true. They are Prem 96, a non-GMO variety of Royal Gala apples, chosen for their consistent and small size, 5-month storage time, 90% harvest rate, and flavor, and can be grown in cooler climates than many large apples. PDF here.
Matt the Engineer on July 18, 2014 at 9:07 AM Report this
20
Whoever is making Slog writers do polls is a terrible person.
Fistique on July 18, 2014 at 2:40 PM Report this
21
Crazy foreign idea:
on July 18, 2014 at 3:57 PM Report this

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