Comments

1
God hates kinks? Is that why he didn't strike Lot dead for impregnating his two daughters? What about the numerous concubines that Judeo-Christian icons like Abraham had? Let's not get into the fetish of impregnating young virgin women.



The Bible is kinkier than Shinjuku.



I know, I'm begging for responses like "God doesn't see impregnating virgins as kink.". Well, in Japan, they don't consider shibari (rope play/bondage) to be kink. That kind of subjective "But it isn't a kink to x." statement is pointless.
2
Sarah Bessey's schoolmarmish, scolding post actually uses the phrase "the way that God intended it" with zero irony.
3
Great post as usual, Dan. One nit: "Hamlet trivializes fratricide". Brother-killing isn't a major theme, while patricide (father-killing) is.
4
If violence of any kind (including make-believe violence) is so wrong, I wonder if Bessey watches movies that portray violence? Or TV shows? Or if she reads books with violent characters?

Most rational adults can understand that make-believe violence is not real violence. Hell, even children can tell the difference between pretend violence and real violence. Clearly this jesus blogger is not a rational thinker.
5
"It's wrong. WRONG."
You know you have a losing argument when you have to repeat it in all-caps.
6
This Bessey chick sounds fat.
7
Dan Savage, are you suggesting that Jian Ghomeshi is practicing BDSM as a form of therapy due to previous abuse or rape on him? That his sexual "play" apparently with anger, violence, aggression and pain are helping him live through a past episode? Is it not possible that even with all the consenting and "safe words"( what the heck is a safe word anyway in this type of activity?) that he or one, can get so wrapped up in this "play" that a switch goes off and suddenly he's reacting to chemical levels or brain wiring that go off the rails. Kinda like a an alcoholic or gambler or shopper? We live in a world of good and evil. We get drawn into things that are tantalizing where, as a person with free will, one can follow a very selfishly motivated path that does not actually consider the greater good. I'm not a prude, I just don't see how this promotes a loving, mutually enjoyable relationship- but whatever, it's not my bag so I can't really comment. I do agree with Sarah though, I do not believe that this was why God created sex. Like many things that were given as gifts and created for our enjoyment, we distort and it becomes a gross violation of the thing it was meant to be. It's not surprising that Jian's hidden, secretive, alter life of deception is now coming into the light. Perhaps he can use his story to help others.
9
What is this woman on about?
Jesus- was the original Hippy. Down to the long hair and beard.
" Cool Man", is what he would have said re people's freedoms.
10
I believe that's the whole point of these religious bigots screaming "Jesus!" at gay and kinky people (or anyone else whose existence they don't agree with). They WANT you to be a mess, so they can then equate being gay or kinky with being a mess.
11
Masochistic Hippy..
12
@6,

I did an image search and she's cute as hell. In fact, I'd not mind bending her over and having my way with her.
13
Steffers @7; Reading comprehension: it's a GOOD thing. Even Jesus would approve.
14
@7



No, he's saying that a person with a predisposition toward BDSM kinks (ie "violent sexual urges" for the sex negative among you), can express themselves in a safe, healthy way. Basically instead of raping someone or going out and getting yourself raped (it can go both ways for any gender), individuals who have rape fantasies or similar can safely explore these (totally natural) desires with a consenting partner. Same goes for any kink, BDSM or otherwise.



Dan put the definition of catharsis up for a reason, I suggest going back and reading it again and adding the phrase "or kinky sex" to the end if you're still confused.



A safe word, since you say you don't know what it is, "is a code word or series of code words that are sometimes used in BDSM for a submissive or bottom to unambiguously communicate their physical or emotional state to a dominant or top, typically when approaching, or crossing, a physical, emotional, or moral boundary.(Wikipedia)". Basically if you get uncomfortable or it hurts (in a bad way) you say the safe word and your partner(s) stop immediately. That's how you prevent things from going too far. Of course there is no guarantee that your partner will honor your wishes, but then again when is there ever? Sex is ultimately based on trust whether its kinky or vanilla. Vanilla sex changes to rape just a quickly as BDSM when one partner doesn't stop when told.



Also as far as the other silly things you say in your post:



-The world is not broken up into good and evil, it is achingly naive to think so. Something isn't evil if it doesn't hurt someone else. BDSM done right doesn't "hurt" anyone.



-God didn't create sex, it evolved as a biological necessity (we can even say that in a religious context now that the Pope has endorsed evolution, after all the Catholics are the OGs of Christianity). Sex feels good so people (or animals) will do it. The concept that sex is only for reproduction is a bad, bad, sex negative, sexually repressed idea. Sex is a huge part of relationships and how people connect to their partners.



-"I just don't see how this promotes a loving, mutually enjoyable relationship" - see above. And I basically mean everything. Something is mutually enjoyable if both parties enjoy it.



-The phrase "for the greater good" is really creepy.



-"I'm not a prude" - Maybe not, but you also don't come across as very sex positive either.



Also I want to say that my comments are meant in general and not specifically aimed at what Jian Ghomeshi has or has not done. If what he says is true, shame on his accusers, if he's lying shame on him (both for lying and the violence). Kinks are natural and normal, not something to be afraid of or ashamed by. Violence toward women is reprehensible and should never be tolerated.
15
One of Dan's better responses in recent memory, IMHO.
16
...did a Christian just claim to carry the banner "people of shalom"? Just another example of Christianity appropriating Judaic lore and customs.
17
God Created sex @7? Funny Guy.
18
Q: Why did Jesus die in the cross?

A: He forgot his safeword.
19
. . .the terrible fear that someone, somewhere might be enjoying himself . . .
20
poor Danny.



His addled juvenile depraved mind doesn't do logic very well.



The fact that wimins of 'xtians' or homosexuals engage in a behavior does not in any way preclude the possibility that that behavior might normalize and mainstream the "sexualized violence against women"



If logic does not support your argument, Danny, you should consider using MORE CAPITALS. at least it is better than nothing.



Not that Danny's addled juvenile depraved fanboy/faghag cult followers will notice or care...........


21
Interesting point of view. I wonder how she would respond to the growing number of Fundamentalist Christian churches that condone males disciplining their wives with spankings and other forms of activities that are present in D/s. On a side note one Christian pastor has suggested that the husband should stick his finger up his wives ass as punishment if spanking was not appropriate.
22
"When the ignorant..." @20: Savage was responding to Bessey's claim that BDSM *just by being BDSM* "normalizes and mainstreams" violence towards women. It's entirely relevant to that to point out that BDSM is a) not the same as abuse b) not all done "towards women" c) done by women - and to women - for the benefit of women.





Do you really think banning consensual kink will stop abuse, anyhow?





Bessey also seems to be missing by a long distance the point that a number of people, including Dan, have made about the wrongness of using "I'm kinky" as an excuse for being abusive.





And the "don't you dare say 'kink can be fun' to women who might have been abused" argument Bessey also seems to be making completely misses the point. Some of us have experienced both abuse and kink, and we can not only tell the difference, but continue to enjoy kink.
23
While I agree that BDSM can be used by people WITH CONSENT, Ghomeshi's actions and the reactions and coming out of women with details clearly represent (if true) a history of using sexual violence as a means of domination and power by men over women and WITHOUT CONSENT.



While people who practice safe sex can indeed practice safe BDSM, those who practice violence as part of their sexual activity should be clearly doing from a place of genuine fantasy and eroticism and not actual violence. My problem with those who believe all BDSM is good is they fail to recognize when BDSM is actually not good, such as, again only if these allegations hold true, in regards to Ghomeshi's behavior. In fact, portrayals of "good BDSM" can confuse those unfamiliar with it to practice it as "bad BDSM", as a means of extending their power (often as men) over their partners (often women).
24
As one who counts numerous kinksters among his friends and keeps a FetLife identity...I don't think the non-Christian part of this is totally off the wall. Using violence for pleasure--be it BDSM or shoot-em-up movies--does run the risk of desensitizing us to horror and all healthy kinksters should keep that risk in mind when they play. Now excuse me...I've got to make my plans for next week's Kinky Geek Party.
25
The work context is important here. There are political maneuverings behind the scenes that are not being discussed. Not that I know exactly what they are, but if you follow the flow of info closely, you'll see how manicured some of it is...always a sign that something is not right. http://www.ireneogrizek.com/2014/11/07/w…
26
Also, too, again: If children got raped at Denny's as often as they get raped at church... it would be illegal to take your children to Denny's.



No doubt.



So Danny, just how many children get raped at church?

Please wait...

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