Heavy Metal's Illegible Fonts



The point of the font, much like the sound and the album cover, is inaccessible detail. It's not my cup of tea either, but you might as well complain that Nicleback albums have incredibly overt imagery and typesetting that leaves no mystery. That's kind of, you know, the point.

But thanks for sharing.
If the font's too bold, you're too old.
They're not "fonts". They're hand-drawn one-offs. They're the descendants of teenage school notebook scribbles, and the typographic equivalent of Microsoft WordArt. This sort of cryptography has its roots in the psychedelic posters of the hippie-hippie-Haight Ashbury, which had to hide in plain sight. Not my taste—neither the artwork nor the music—but there you go.
It all becomes easily legible (even preferable to most standard fonts) once you've pledged your soul to the Great Lord Satan.
If you play it backwards it all makes sense.
"I'm admittedly NOT a metal head"

There you go. Then your opinion regarding the logos of heavy metal bands is irrelevent.
i can't read most street tags or graffiti either. and i suspect , like @3 says, it's because kids.
You may need to give birth to a new genre: Metal Dandy.
Well this was a goddam pointless article. Is the stranger trying to appeal to the senior demographic? My parents would probably enjoy this article.
I roll my eyes when people comment on posts just to say that the post sucks or is dumb. Which is why I'm surprised to find myself taking time out of my life to do just that. Indecipherable heavy metal logos is such a great premise to write about. You could write something inquisitive, informative, or funny. This post is none of the above. I feel like maybe, because I like metal, I'm bothered by the ignorant and dismissive tone. But I can certainly enjoy having a laugh at metal and metal culture and I didn't think the piece was mean-spirited. It's just so weird how bad this post is. There are sentences where I think I detect the *rhythm* of wit, but there's no payoff. Anyway, back to reality, where I think people who make comments like this are wasting their lives.
I clicked on this hoping it would be a showcase of various fonts. Rats. You should totally write that article. Maybe get an actual metal head to help out.
@6 I have HESHER TENDENCIES!! Wait, Serisouly, you know Hesher is Metalhead's older brother, right?!

@8 I think that already happened in the 80s w/Hair Metal - I can't return to the '80s. I can't grow my hair out, not again!

@11 I'd love to - if I had more room. Also, sadly, Slog scroll rolls past real fast so it's hard to get too long winded as the posts get gone so quickly.
Doom is as old as heavy metal itself, it's hardly a "contemporary genre" in the sense of being new or something the kids are into.