Blogs Mar 17, 2015 at 1:27 pm

SL Letter of the Day: Fake Fur

Dan Savage
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Comments

2
Was the vegan boyfriend Aaron Schrock?
sperifera on March 17, 2015 at 1:35 PM Report this
3
Soon many missed opportunities.

How about: "Sometimes you fuck the bear. And sometimes the bear fucks you."
tkc on March 17, 2015 at 1:35 PM Report this
4
Hilarious
AFinch on March 17, 2015 at 1:45 PM Report this
5
Seriously though, Vegan Boyfriend needs to chill the fuck out. Yeah, it's weird, but he's your boyfriend and it doesn't define him, even if he does get off sometimes on fucking taxidermy.
brandon on March 17, 2015 at 2:02 PM Report this
6
And stop fucking the rug.
Philophile on March 17, 2015 at 2:11 PM Report this
7
Take the rug to a costumer - or perhaps a furrier - and get it turned into a suit for your partner. Everybody wins... except the bear, of course.
saxfanatic on March 17, 2015 at 2:17 PM Report this
8
Gotta admit, that's a pretty good fake letter. The dropped g's are a nice touch, gives a bit of rustic flavor for authenticity.
john t on March 17, 2015 at 2:31 PM Report this
9
I kept waiting for the punchline. That's a bearskin rug meaning an actual bear, right, like, the animal?

I mean, otherwise the guy really does have a problem...

Eudaemonic on March 17, 2015 at 2:58 PM Report this
10
This guy needs to get a boyfriend with a better sense of humor! Vegan's can be SO blasted SERIOUS.
BG on March 17, 2015 at 3:17 PM Report this
11
This isn't what I normally picture when I hear gay men talking about hot bears. But I'm obviously a little strait-laced.
jayde on March 17, 2015 at 3:39 PM Report this
12
Yep, fake. Straight guy thought, "Hmmm, bears .... " and ran with the idea.
originalcinner on March 17, 2015 at 4:57 PM Report this
13
Laugh. What else to do with
a story like this?
LavaGirl on March 17, 2015 at 8:12 PM Report this
14
Please please please, do not call yourself a man, and your SO a boy, unless you want people to think you are a pedophile...
rowan redwing on March 17, 2015 at 8:41 PM Report this
15
I said, and said, and said those words.

I said them. But I lied them.

-- Dr Seuss
Steve Dorner on March 17, 2015 at 9:02 PM Report this
16
What a Prudie-worthy answer. Mr Savage can do better.
vennominon on March 17, 2015 at 9:21 PM Report this
17
@12: "I'M PROBABLY TURNING ON THEM QUEERS RIGHT NOW. BETTER ALSO MAKE A COMMENT ABOUT SISSY VEGANS AND SHOW THEM WHAT'FER"

At least it was more imaginative than the "She calls me... Mister Gray to all of her friends" guy.
undead ayn rand on March 17, 2015 at 9:40 PM Report this
18
@15 - hah! see your pale green pants and raise you one bearskin rug!
guess boyfriend can't bear the competition ...
Still Thinking on March 17, 2015 at 10:02 PM Report this
19
Funniest advice column letter EVER. Don't even care if it's fake.
phgf on March 17, 2015 at 10:12 PM Report this
20
The letter-writer is either deeply bizarre, or a genius.

Or both.

I loved this letter, and like @19, I think that even if it's fake, it's brilliant.

I SO hope it's real, though.
sh1331 on March 17, 2015 at 10:30 PM Report this
21
"I'm a gay man and a hunter; he's a gay boy and a vegan. Together, we solve crimes."
Tom Sackett on March 17, 2015 at 11:04 PM Report this
22
@21 I so want to watch this series. Thank you!!
jefmcg on March 18, 2015 at 4:40 AM Report this
23
Who else is on the short list for Most Dumpable LW?
vennominon on March 18, 2015 at 5:53 AM Report this
24
Why are these "blast from the past" eails always from the recent past? At the minimum, they ahould be 10 years old.
LaSargenta on March 18, 2015 at 8:04 AM Report this
25
Why does this letter make me think of this?
nocutename on March 18, 2015 at 11:28 AM Report this
26
This must be an oldie if Sarah Jessica Parker was still a thing. Even when she was a thing she was cute but not really at the top of most men's spank bank I'd guess. But what do I know? I'm more of a Miranda anyway.
debug on March 18, 2015 at 12:39 PM Report this
27
@2 Please don't insult us vegans by suggesting Aaron Shrock was one of us. Just like gay people should be offended he's one of them.
DanielleinDC on March 18, 2015 at 1:08 PM Report this
28
@21 - Please let me know when this show debuts. I must set my DVR.
The Zoo on March 18, 2015 at 1:17 PM Report this
29
So I was fuckin' my bearskin rug head - you know, like ya do - and for some reason my boyfriend thought it was weird! Go figure! And now even though he thinks I'm gonna kill him and skin him in some Silence-of-the-Lambs scenario - you know, like ya do - he's still sleepin' in m'bed! What's up with that? Oh, and is it dangerous to just start fuckin' furniture at random? I've got my eye on some end tables that're just beggin' for it! Thanks pal.
Lance Thrustwell on March 19, 2015 at 12:46 PM Report this

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