So... back in 2008, a British couple was sentenced to two years in prison for having sex on a beach in Dubai, and that was held up as an example of the insanity of sharia law—and crazy, repressive sex-negativity.

On Monday, an American couple was found guilty of having sex on a beach in Florida:

A jury Monday found a couple guilty of having sex on Bradenton Beach after only 15 minutes of deliberation. The convictions carry a maximum prison sentence of 15 years. Jose Caballero, 40, and Elissa Alvarez, 20, were charged with two counts each of lewd and lascivious behavior for having sex on a public beach on July 20, 2014... Both Caballero and Alvarez will now have to register as sex offenders. A sentencing date was not announced, but Assistant State Attorney Anthony Dafonseca said they will pursue a harsher sentence for Caballero than Alvarez, since Alvarez has no prior record and Caballero has been to prison for almost eight years for a cocaine trafficking conviction. The state will ask for jail time for Alvarez and prison time for Caballero. Dafonseca said due to Caballero being out of prison less than three years before committing another felony, he's looking at serving the maximum time of 15 years.

Pamela Geller would be shrieking about this on CNN and Fox News right now if it was happening in Saudi Arabia or Dubai.

The judge has no discretion in sentencing—the State of Florida is sending Caballero to prison for 15 years for having sex on a beach. Or looking like he was having sex on a beach, as it wasn't established definitively that Caballero and Alvarez were actually having sex. Witnesses did not see "genitals or penetration."

How much does it cost to lock someone up for 15 years? Because whatever that figure is, officials in Florida are arguing that the expense—to say nothing of the injustice—is worth it because it sends a message:

Ed Brodsky, elected state attorney for the 16th judicial district, joined Defonseca in prosecuting the case. When asked why the case was an important one to the state attorney, Dafonseca said it was important that the community knew what wouldn't be tolerated on public beaches.

"We're dealing with basically tourists, that came from Brandon and Riverview and West Virginia, and they're here on the beaches of Manatee County, our public beaches," Dafonseca said, referring to the witnesses. "So you want to make sure that this isn't something that just goes by the wayside. And that it is well known to the community, what will be tolerated and what won't be."

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Why not just put them both in orange jumpsuits and behead them?

UPDATE: What she said: