Florida Couple Faces Jail Time, Lifetime on Sex-Offender Registry, for Having Sex on a Beach

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I just read the article Dan cited. Jesus H Christ - the judge sounds like a Victorian schoolmarm. But what should have ended with a some kind of fine plus public humiliation at most is instead going to WRECK. THEIR. LIVES. With sex hysteria like this out there, is it any wonder that people like Keyes, Perkins, et. al. are listened to?

Sometimes I wonder if I was born on another planet.

Lance Thrustwell on May 5, 2015 at 7:51 AM

Whoops, it wasn't the judge, it was the prosecutor I should have referred to. But still.

Lance Thrustwell on May 5, 2015 at 8:00 AM

Holy shit. The part that pops out for me? Elected prosecutor.

Eudaemonic on May 5, 2015 at 8:18 AM

Let's at least wait for sentencing before freaking out. A lot of crimes might have high maximum punishments that aren't nearly as extreme in "usual" circumstances.

fetish on May 5, 2015 at 8:28 AM

beachdancing, fun for the whole family!

Family members who witnessed the act and a Bradenton Beach police officer, as well as Caballero, testified in the case. The defense argued that the two weren't actually having sex, but that Alvarez had been dancing on Caballero or "nudging" him to wake him up.

… and the fifteen year prison time seems to be related to the guy's former felony drug trafficking conviction.

josh on May 5, 2015 at 8:29 AM

@4 Read it again. The judge has no discretion due to minimum sentencing laws passed by conservative politicians pandering to their base.

I'd say some shit about crazy Floridians but in my own supposedly liberal Oregon town, you can be tagged a sex offender for urinating in public.

Lemming on May 5, 2015 at 9:02 AM

What's the penalty for having a fuzzy navel?

Lemming on May 5, 2015 at 9:30 AM

There should be a penalty! Mandatory picking up litter and beach grooming for 1 week. Shouldn't even be a misdemeanor.

raindrop on May 5, 2015 at 9:38 AM

Because: Tourists.

And: Republicans.

judybrowni on May 5, 2015 at 10:23 AM

My opinion of Florida remains unchanged.

Urgutha Forka on May 5, 2015 at 10:36 AM

Wait a minute! Isn't this where all the spring break, wet t-shirt, drunken nudity and lost weekends happen every year? Let's shut that shiite down while were at it!!

todtown on May 5, 2015 at 10:59 AM

@13 Yeah, but it's largely white kids doing that. They don't mind being associated with that. But Latin@s maybe having sex on the beach? Throw the book at them.

Actually, thinking about it and about the way women of color are hypersexualized by observers... I wonder if her actions would even have been viewed in the same light if she was white.

wendolen on May 5, 2015 at 12:04 PM

Also... who the fuck was the defense attorney? He/she should go back to law school. And who the fuck was on that jury?

Urgutha Forka on May 5, 2015 at 12:10 PM

If no genitals were exposed,how is this standing up in court?

Isn't an issue of 'free speach'? One can dance - shake a booty, wiggle and jiggle, rub-a-dub-dub - with a buddy all they like, no? If genitals were unseen, what witness can testify the act was sexual?

It's no more categorically sexual than say the cirque-de-soleil-style contortionist entertainers you might encounter on a sunny beach day.

I hope they sue for enormous damages.

NotSean on May 5, 2015 at 12:36 PM

As someone who lives in Florida and works a few miles from where this happened, let me add a few details. First, let me say I dont agree with the sentences they are facing. I think they are ridiculously harsh even though what they did was pretty damn stupid. I have seen the video. However, they were both TWICE offered deals that included zero jail time for her, two and a half years for him (with the potential to be out on less than one), and NOT being listed as sex offenders. They turned it down TWICE and opted for a jury trial knowing full well what they could face, especially in this backwards-ass state!

benufturf on May 5, 2015 at 12:40 PM

Should we be concerned with the onerous sentencing this couple have received under the guise that it offended children and the public at large? Morally offensive aside has the law gone overboard in deeming these two as sex offenders and subjecting them to the possibility of 15 years jail? Since when did being morally offensive land one such heavy penalties …?

http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2015/05/…

scallywag on May 5, 2015 at 12:46 PM

Remind me never to have sex on a beach in Florida.
Maybe it's just the items you choose Dan, but I'm feeling more and more like many people in the U.S. have become quite mad. Perhaps rampant capitalism isn't such a good idea after all.

LavaGirl on May 5, 2015 at 12:49 PM

All I can think about is sand in my vagina. I think that is punishment enough for sex on the beach.

PennyLady on May 5, 2015 at 12:54 PM

@17 the 'you should have known better than to expect justice!' argument is so morally corrupt it makes me want to puke. That's the attitude that lets this shit continue to happen, and lets DAs act as judge, jury and executioner.

drjones on May 5, 2015 at 1:00 PM

Oh, the insanity that is our legal system. No common sense, no discerning between stupid mistakes and hard-time-worthy offenses. The fact that they're so obtuse about it ("The law's the law!') is just infuriating.

bripatrick on May 5, 2015 at 1:07 PM

@17 This brings up an interesting point: are we not supposed to be judged by a 'jury of our peers' when we get a jury trial? Clearly if you are someone that has sex on a beach in broad daylight a jury full of puritanical shits is not a jury of your peers.

Rhizome on May 5, 2015 at 1:48 PM

Man, that's nuts. The correct penalty would be some combination of probation, fine, and community service.

ɥsɐןɯouǝʌ on May 5, 2015 at 2:01 PM

@16--How is this standing up in court?

Hee hee hee.

Clayton on May 5, 2015 at 2:07 PM

@17, why was she offered a deal for no time, while the guy was told "2.5 years"?

@23, nothing in the constitution of the US nor of Florida mentions nor implies peers. The only thing stated in the US constitution is "an impartial jury" and in the FL one, that "qualifications...shall be fixed by law."

Tawnos on May 5, 2015 at 2:46 PM

Just wait until we have President Huckabee!

kutis on May 5, 2015 at 3:30 PM

@17: 2.5 years in prison for allegedly doing something harmless is not a "deal".

I'm with Urgutha Forka: bring on the global warming.

Chase on May 5, 2015 at 6:28 PM

We can all agree that there should be some repercussions, correct?

I saw the video. They were clearly fucking. This was broad day light in the middle of a crowded beach.

I do not think the proposed punishment is even remotely fair. But no one on that beach consented to be a part of their sex.

They should be fined and do some community service.

PennyLady on May 5, 2015 at 9:18 PM

@26 Because he's a former felon. She is not.

PennyLady on May 5, 2015 at 9:19 PM

@7: It is your sick, disgusting pathetic excuse for a political party that ensures a large part of this country has less liberty than a third world shithole. Fry in hell, you bastard.

kk in seattle on May 6, 2015 at 12:30 AM

Wait... I was bringing on global warming? All I really want is to dissociate from that vile state of Florida, global warming or no.

Urgutha Forka on May 6, 2015 at 12:50 AM

Think this might have something to do with increasing global warming?
Were they having Sex On the Beach? Isn't that a beverage? Isn't that a Florida beverage? Doesn't this mean the experienced a sort of masturbate and switch?

zrupraguoc on May 6, 2015 at 4:43 AM

This should have just been a minor infraction.
$500 fine and 10-20 hours community service.

It truly shows how archaic the state of Florida is.
I sincerely wish nothing but death and destruction on all the citizens of Florida for allowing their government this much power.

Death to Florida and Death to all who oppose us!

Negrodamus on May 13, 2015 at 6:00 AM

Florida Couple Faces Jail Time, Lifetime on Sex-Offender Registry, for Having Sex on a Beach

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