The NSA wont be collecting your metadata for a while, but they will still be using magnifying glasses to sleuth for clues!
The NSA is not collecting and storing your metadata at the moment. Gil C / Shutterstock.com

At midnight last night, as Wired explains, congress allowed Section 215 and two other parts of the Patriot Act to expire, temporarily, partly due to Rand Paul taking his time while getting super pissy on the floor. And, I know—Rand Paul. But Section 215 is the one that allows the NSA to collect and store your cellphone metadata. And recently, a report from the Justice Department found that the FBI was also using the section to collect “electronic communication transactional information,” which means they can track your to/from on emails and your IP address.

The two other parts that are expiring only apply to you if you’re using burners all the time to dodge the cops or if you’re a “lone wolf” terrorist. If you’re one of those two kinds of people: Stop it.

Those parts of the Patriot Act will remain expired until, at the earliest, Tuesday, but probably until the senate figures out how to spy on its own citizens without people getting all huffy about it. President Obama, the House, and lots of senators who aren’t Rand Paul want to pass a compromise bill called the USA Freedom Act, which would force intelligence agencies to acquire a warrant from your cell phone company if they want to investigate your butt dials and moments of loneliness. But Sunday night, Paul wasn’t having any of that.

How loose can you be with your dick pics this week? Because as we all learned recently, from Edward Snowden himself, the NSA can see your dick pics.

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Turns out, last night's expiring of Section 215 does not protect your dick pics. So unless you’re trying to make Uncle Sam jealous, gentleman, keep it in your pants.

You can, however, call your sidepiece without fear of the government outting you, at least for a little while.