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800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
Uh-huh.
As @2 observed, it's much more likely that the sister deeply regrets one drunken kiss and is trying to pretend that nothing ever happened, than that she's crazy in love with her brother-in-law and would totally be into a triad if only her sister would agree to it. Save that kiss for the wank bank and never, ever mention it again.
So yeah, go with the Good Book on this one and keep your dick away from your sister-in-law, you dummy!
Well this guy's going to torpedo his marriage one way or another.
It's good the sister has pushed you away, though that kiss can never be undone, it was the grog talking. Heavens I've kissed so many frogs when drunk I'm surely ashamed.
AMILE, I say this with no malice towards you...my friend, you are a fucking dolt. Plots of porn movies, as stimulating to the dick as they may be, will pretty much never fly in real life.
Controlling your "feelings" toward your sister-in-law is not a "half-fake life," it is what normal, intelligent people (you can recognize them because they are the ones not sitting in a tree playing a banjo) do when faced with irrational, self-destructive obsessions.
Oh, a Hulk fan, I see.
"It was not an ordinary kiss. It had all the passion and frustration of years of emotional but not physical reach."
"But the demon torments me."
"Should I just give up and live a half-fake life next to the two persons that are dearest to me until the end of my days, repressing what I feel...?"
You know, this letter wouldn't bother me so much if it weren't for the style and the content.
Just as no amount of Febreze will hide the smell if you pee your pants, no amount of florid prose can make this letter not sound like it was written by a wet-behind-the-ears numbskull who is mainly concerned with his own feelings (and who has trouble separating his feelings from reality).
@13 DonnyK "Controlling your "feelings" toward your sister-in-law is not a "half-fake life," it is what normal, intelligent people (you can recognize them because they are the ones not sitting in a tree playing a banjo) do when faced with irrational, self-destructive obsessions."
BINGO.
LW you seem to be assuming a lot. I mean unless your wife has been telling you for that a three way with her sister is deepest, darkest fantasy then you shouldn't assume that's the way she feels.
That you SIL ran away screaming after your kiss is a good indication that an incestuous three way is not her deepest, darkest desire.
And I have to ask is that about living a 'fulfilling life' or is it about your fantasy of having two hot women lusting over your cock? And is this fantasy worth ruining your marriage over?
Sigh, anyone else got a bad feeling LW won't listen to Dan, and he'll end up divorced after a fight to the death on Jerry Springer's?
Dan gets to have fun answering this kind of thing, that's cool, but jeez Dan, you might even just write the letter yourself instead of waiting for the material like this to come in the mail.
I'm kind of with 23 in a way: The stupid asshole's going to blow up his marriage one way or another. May as well get it over with...
Just sublimating urges is hard. Redirecting them has a better chance of success. So ask your wife why she thinks her sister doesn't have a significant other in her life, ask her if she thinks Sister would like to meet someone, then if the answer is yes and with Sister's approval, do reasonable things to fix Sister up. That is, include nice available single men in your social circle when meeting Sister and invite her along when there will be nice available single men. Don't just repress your urges towards her sexually, cut off the whole threesome idea from the root which apparently in your case means stop socializing just the 3 of you where this "emotional connection" thing is growing from
Oh, can the drama, dude. By your own say-so, you have a good marriage. Give up the idea of the sister, enjoy your wife, and stop acting like it's the end of the world.
I doubt this guy has the maturity to do what you suggest without bungling and further investing in his fantasy.
To be fair, which of us here isn't looking for freaky Sodomites!
Again, if this isn't fake, which probably speaks more to the weirdo who would write this grandiose drek to begin with.
In a more reality based view of things, this will torpedo virtually EVERY relationship all of you have. Your relationship would be torpedoed, your sister-in-law's relationship with her sister will be torpedoed, that damage will spread throughout their family (seriously, how fucked up would it be to know that family reunions are impossible because of a fight over the same man by two sisters?) and you will be left divorced and your ex-wife and her sister will have a permanently damaged relationship.
It got retitled to the more accurate, "Dickful Thinking Syndrome".
Why can't we see this for what it is: Just a regular guy susceptible to - and targeted by - a bombardment of media images around him that portray all women as cock-loving bisxuals? It might not cost him his marriage but it will give him the feeling that he's inadequate.
People are suggesting this is fake not just because it is cliche fantasy, but because if real, this guy does not live in the same reality that his wife and in-laws do. He does not have a grasp on their feelings, nor does he care. If real, he may avoid this one particular entanglement but will probably end up cheating on his wife anyway with the next woman he decides to be "close friends" with.
I have more sympathy for the people in his path than I do him. Same if the genders were swapped...
He'll most likely learn this lesson in how to not be a manchild through the hardest possible means. And with everyone warning against. If he's shitty enough to judge his "manhood" through demanding a sister threesome, he can only blame himself and he's hardly a sympathetic example for relying on the most high-fiving fratbro of fake Penthouse Forum stories for his feelings of entitlement.
People whose romantic fantasies cause them to lose touch with reality are a dime a dozen. There's nothing unrealistic about someone being that delusional.
"The chick who got a restraining order against me is just playing hard to get, when we finally get married we'll laugh about it."
"I'll get pregnant and then he'll have to marry me, and we'll live happily ever after."
"Why can't people see that me and my 15 year old student are soul mates?"
"I will heal this troubled, violent, alcoholic, chronically unemployed man with the power of my love!"
"This man who is cheating on his wife with me would be the best husband, if only I could get him to leave his wife!"
How is any of that crap less delusional than, "My wife's sister is deeply in love with me, which I know from a drunken kiss, and the solution is a triad!"?
You are my hero.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qL_9zWmD…
LW, what makes the song popular is that it is completely ridiculous. Everyone knows that actually telling someone "I wanna get with you... and your sister" will never, ever work. Everyone except you, apparently. Think on that.
But yes, right on @13.
http://blogs.hindustantimes.com/just-peo…
Love fast die young. Imploding marriage optional.
Also, not sure the Leviticus argument is real strong, at the time the taboo was important to keep one social climber from marrying all the daughters of the same rich guy to try to corner their wealth. A monopoly from the time when women were treated as chattel that promoted inbreeding and consolodation of power. The 'people don't like it when you cheat on them with their siblings' argument is much stronger.
And they'll do the same just to make themselves think it'll get them laid, whether it actually will or not.
For every potential crush, there are 1000 ones that only exist in ones head to flatter oneself. It's more likely that he's as full of shit about his chances as he is that everybody's "cool with it".
Besides, it's tangential to reality because even if she was it'd still be a bad idea that neither would be up for. The "mindharem" that exists only under the perfect circumstances is much easier to entertain when there's zero possibility of it happening IRL. He's either safe nor trustworthy.
The PUA cargo cult is a pretty goo example of this.
I have loved 2 brothers for 20 years.
Have I ever acted on my love for my husband's brother?
No. No. No and hell no.
I don't think it's super unusual to have feelings for your partner's sibling. They usually look similar and have loads in common and you might spend more time with them than other people due to the family tie.
But normal or not; it's forbidden. It's betrayal. It's incestuous in a way.
How to make peace with it if you can't just "get over it?" Know that sometimes it will suck and you'll be sad and that's okay. That pain will be way less than the pain of losing your partner.
Well, then maybe that’s the best outcome for all concerned.
LW: You should totally go for it. Get them both super drunk one evening, excuse yourself for a moment, and come back into the room naked, with a raging hard-on, and start passionately kissing and groping them both. Hilarity will ensue! It can't fail!
This advice brought to you by Luciferian Enterprises, LLC.
Apparently it works best when the women present a unified front and treat the husband as a useful adjunct to their household. This dynamic might suit him, though it’s unlikely to be what he’s fantasizing.
As some people said: I'm not surprised he got so attracted to SiL since he's attracted to her sister (his wife). It may also not be surprising that SIL got attracted to him since she is wired similarly to her sister. I'm not at all sure it's just a fantasy on his part.
Personally I'm afraid I'd have to leave town (with my wife) to get out of this one.
And I agree with the idea of finding out if his wife has any poly leanings. That might strengthen the marriage.
Of course the difference is between his merely getting dumped and slapped; and dumped so hard people in the next county hear it and there's a plaque explaining the crater to a curious public. But, you know, there's a difference.
~facepalm~
AMILE: "So you're saying I have a chance."
Go for it, AMILE! Paris went after Helen of Troy, Zeus went after Europa, David went after Bathsheba - seize your chance at forbidden love with both hands, just like you drunkenly seized your wife's sister that night! What could go wrong?
Guys, he's totally gonna do it. Remember Nocutename's Law (Dr. Cute's Law?).
Spoiler ahead that everyone in the world except that letterwriter will see coming: the one sister completely freaks out when she realizes the man she loves fucked her sister.
Did I suggest that we all become poly and the childhood best friend and I get to act out on our feelings? Fuck, no. I repressed it like a grownup.