Oh, from the headline I was expecting the far right to be blaming the gays for global warming because gay sex was far hotter than regular, purposeful, procreative sex.

The republican reasoning:

Climate change doesn't exist.

Ok, climate change exists, but we didn't cause it.

Ok, it exists, and we're causing it, but it's so far off we don't need to worry about it now.

Ok, it exists, we cause it, and it's rapidly approaching, but we don't have the money to do anything about it.

Ok, it exists, we cause it, it's rapidly approaching, and we should be spending money to combat it, but now it's simply too late to do anything about it so let's just build a bigger Navy.

/buys stock in swim wings.

Related

" "The Supreme Court can no more repeal the laws of nature and nature's God on marriage than it can the law of gravity," Mike Huckabee said "

Ah, yes. About that.

I am a gravity sceptic. Unlike you sheeples, I know that, like climate change, gravity is ONLY A THEORY.

Like climate change, there are corporations who can make a lot of money out of people believing in this "gravity". This is a Seattle newspaper. You all, surely, know about local company Boeing. Boeing ABSOLUTELY RELIES ON THE "GRAVITY" CONSPIRACY to make LITERALLY BILLIONS OF DOLLARS. If we didn't all subscribe to the just-a-theory of "gravity", HOW WOULD THEY BE ABLE TO SELL PLANES TO TAKE US UP IN THE SKY WHEN WE COULD JUST FLOAT UP THERE ANYWAY?

Oh, yeah. I know 99.999% of scientists say they believe in "gravity". But they are JUST PART OF THE MASSIVE CONSPIRACY, led by a few big corporations, Al Gore and the UN. What we need to do is listen to the MAVERICKS. The scientists (by which I mean real scientists who read a book that one time, not the so-called "scientists" with "degrees" in "physics" and stuff) who TELL IT LIKE IT IS. Like Bjorn Lomborg, but for gravity.

We need someone - someone like Mike Huckabee or Donald Trump - to expose the fact that GRAVITY IS A CHINESE CONSPIRACY invented to WEAKEN AMERICA by introducing WORLD GOVERNMENT through the UN (UN is in caps there).

Where are FEMA camps? On the ground, allegedly stuck there by so-called "gravity", but actually held down by TENT PEGS.

What do UN soldiers wear? Blue helmets, allegedly stuck to soldiers' heads by so-called "gravity", but actually held down by CHIN STRAPS.

QED.

If you look at this graph - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9Wg… - it is clear that there has been NO INCREASE IN GRAVITY SINCE 1998, which I think COMPREHENSIVELY DISPROVES THE SO-CALLED "THEORY" OF "GRAVITY".

it is just like climate change.

@4. I love you, you True Patriot! Thank you for standing up against BIG GRAVITY and its hand-maidens in Congress and industry. Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

(unfortunately, the impact of being rick-rolled is vastly reduced when you have to watch a goddamn 15 second YouTube ad first)