I read your response to the person hoping to recycle their used toys in new column. A few years ago, I donated the sex toys and other items I no longer wanted to the Aliveness Project for their annual fundraiser. Before donating the sex toys, I ran them all through the dishwasher so they'd be clean, and the Project was grateful to get them. I have no idea what sold and what didn't, but felt good about the contribution. Perhaps the person who wrote that letter could donate them to a business like the Aliveness Project to auction off at a fundraiser as well.

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Don't Toss Good Sex Toys

I'm glad you found someplace to send your used sex toys that wasn't the Bundy Militia, c/o Malheur National Wildlife Refuge, 36391 Sodhouse Lane, Princeton, OR, 97721. Because the Bundy Militia doesn't want you or anyone else sending used sex toys to them c/o Malheur National Wildlife Refuge, 36391 Sodhouse Lane, Princeton, OR, 97721.

But I suspect the Aliveness Project may not have wanted your used sex toys either, DTGST. You didn't see them get auctioned off, DTGST, and I'm thinking the good folks at the Aliveness Project may have smiled politely, thanked you for your donations, discarded your sex toys, and auctioned off the rest. The resale/fundraising/auction value of sex toys is pretty close to nothing, due to squeamishness about where they've been—to say nothing of a second-use consumer having no way to know how well they were cleaned or, if they aren't in their original packaging (with material listed), even if they can be cleaned. (Wondering how to clean your toys—or if they can be cleaned? Check out this informative piece on cleaning sex toys from Good Vibrations.)

One more letter on cleaning and reusing sex toys...

You wrote this in your column this week, Dan: "While high-quality dildos can be cleaned and safely reused, most people are pretty squeamish about the idea. Which is odd, considering that we routinely reuse actual cocks that have been enjoyed by others—so why not the fake ones?"

I've absolutely always had the same thought, Dan. I have a frequent debate with friends about whether or not to throw out sex toys once a relationship is over and buy new ones. I mean, they're expensive! I also once had an ex who got mad when she asked how many people I'd used a particular toy with and I gave her an honest answer. (It was a very well cleaned and maintained toy!) My reply? "Far more people have been all up in this pussy and that doesn't seem to bother you." Alas, that was little consolation.

Also: some commenters on the column seem to be clueless as to why one would put a condom on a dildo. My reply: "This lesbian uses condoms on dildos when they're available because a) just in case you didn't boil one recently, the condom drastically reduces your chance of getting a UTI and b) if you're switching from ass play to vag play, condoms reduce infection risk (put a new one on before switching, of course!) and c) you don't have to keep adding lube! Also, while it's not why I use them, if you're switching dildos from partner to partner, putting a fresh condom on protects against STIs."

Victoria Davis

My podcast about sex and dating: LIVIN' AND LOVIN' IN NYC.
Available at iTunes.