Seventy pounds? That's a big fuckin' octopus. Is Kong the biggest one in captivity?

Artificial insemination?

I love scuba diving, and seeing octopus in the wild is always an amazing experience. While I've seen many, I don't think any I've seen have gotten up to 70 pounds, which sounds like a gigantic animal. Nor have I ever seen octopus mating, which I imagine must be an awesome sight.

First there was that lady shark that ate the guy shark who kept bumping into her. Then the guy tiger that ate the lady tiger. Now I learn that octopuses would rather kill and eat each other than bump uglies. It's a mating dog eat mating dog world out there.

Best Slog post ever! Eight arms of octopus love! Mmmmmmm

@1 He probably is the biggest one in captivity right now, but that changes all the time. They only live 3-5 years and grow like hell.

I was a giant octopus wrangler about 15 years ago at the Seattle Aquarium and when we weighed them every Saturday, I had to wrestle the bastards into the scale. They got up around 85 pounds, but the old exhibit was bigger back then.

It could get pretty interesting at times... I always described it as fighting with 85 pounds of very smart, pissed-off Jell-O.

I'm always glad to see the old Octopus feature get a mention. It's in my Stranger all-time top 10. Love it.

@9: your uncle Lincoln drives a Lincoln? What are the odds?! My uncle Bentley drives an almost new Honda Civic.