The Witch Isn't Scary, Sean Nelson, It's Trying Too Hard to Be Scary


I keep seeing this same debate every time I see discussion of this movie.

The fans accuse its detractors of behind childish and preferring cheap jump scares.

It's detractors usually just say it's really boring and non-immersive.

I guess I'll have to see for myself. I much prefer slow-burn horrors that spend most the film building up a creepy atmosphere. The pessimist in me tells me I'll just be bored.
You really buried the lede on this. I want to hear more about that metal spatula!
"I'm glad she escaped her horrifying family. She's happy now." That's what hit me like a bucket of blood-milk as I walked home from the theater.

You're both wrong. The Witch is basically Sixteen Candles with a better ending and more goats.
Spoilers, I guess. Too late for me, of course.
The following movies are unsettlingly scary but not startlingly scary:
Don't Look Now
Picnic at Hanging Rock

I much prefer unsettling to startling, so I think I might like The Witch
Art house movies trying desperately to look meaning filled and suspenseful are no more "horror" than tawdry gorefests are. Both are extremes that allow the audience to detach themselves from the narrative. After the credits roll, five minutes later these movies are forgotten.
Good horror keeps you engaged, leaves you uncomfortable, and lingers in the mind. It fills the liminal spaces. Most modern horror flicks shoehorn poor quality crap into the liminal spaces and call it good.
My husband and I both hated The Witch. It embodies every cliche about Puritans without bothering to offer a coherent plot.
Didn't really feel any sense of dread. Semi interesting but it didn't really work for me