Books Aug 6, 2010 at 2:32 pm



"how anyone (even you!) can fuck skanks simply by feeding them unlimited quesadillas."

you had me @ skanks.
You can almost hear the steel drums and kinky Reggae when you slurp this sexy take on a Caribbean classic. It takes a little work to harness the flavors, but trust me when I say it’s well worth the time (hint hint).

As satire, maybe. Like a frat boy version of the Onion's Smoove B, if he were white, and cooked. Judging from his blog, it kinda looks more like How to Turn Your Apartment Into the Downtown Kirkland TGI Friday's.
"Like a frat boy version of the Onion's Smoove B"

or even, The Strangers' Charles Mudede.
Oooh, I hope he writes. I'd like to see him try to take on the great Lindy.
it will not be long before even he admits that his book is stupid. he either should own it or go home.
@snappertuna How is "best" pretentious?

I was just reading an article this week about how that's a perfectly acceptable closing.

I think an endorsement of the book would be more like "I went to Spencer's house and he made me food without trying to rape me afterwards."
@ 8: *anytime basil, oregano, thyme, salt, cracked pepper, flour, or sugar is called for, you should substitute Rohypnol to just under perceptible taste.
"Best" is a perfectly cromulent close
Sexism + self-importance = winning combination
I'll bet Lindy ends up giving him a BJ.
@12: I'll take that bet.
oh speaking of bj's and bets, if you want one I'll give you even odds that I won't bite off your micro-dick just for fun.
Despite not having seen Ms. Hallett's picture myself, I'm confident that she is way out of his league. I mean, who wouldn't be?
@13: I find your threats of genital mutilation bizarre. And a little arousing.
Also, what kind of friends send you a link to a negative review of your shitty book?
@15: nicely played: though still, the thought of your junk anywhere near anyones mouth = worth a some notions of GM, as distasteful as that is. ahem.
17: That's cool, no worries. BTW, are you doing anything tomorrow night? If not, you should come over, and I'll cook us up a nice dinner.
@18: sorry honey; a shriveld up vienna sausage does not a meal make.
@16: One's only friends, I'm sort of imagining.
@19: Couldn't agree more. I was thinking more along the lines of seafood with a sweet, sumptuous pie for desert.
Oh man. The review made him sound like an utter, irredeemable *dick* of a sackbadger, and then he goes and proves it beyond all rebuttal.

Nitpick @3: Smoove does, in fact, cook: . Never tried any of the recipes, though.
I can like authors and books independently, but in this case I feel diseased already just by coming into contact with the (assumably) shitty book and the infected author asshole who wrote it.
I had the same notion that Ms. Hallett had after reading that first email. If he didn't want to sound like a complete creep, he probably should have taken special care to point out that sex was not part of the deal, especially after he mentioned bringing a camera crew with him for the evening.

Way to live up to our expectations, Spencer.
"My friends sent me a link"... yeah, right, Spencie!

Those are the words of a malignantly narcissistic incessant self-googler. At least he has the tiny bit of self-awareness necessary to know that he should lie about it. Shamefully. And then cry about it.
@21: I'm writing my fanfic of you two RIGHT NOW.
Eww no! I go to Lewis & Clark. Why would he go there?! I have a deep urge to stay VERY far away from this individual. He'll taint my happy place of learning with his enormous skeevy-ness! There isn't a penicillin shot big enough to cure that!
If the text in the recipe at the Portland Mercury page is any indication, I can see why he resorts to using food rather than wit to win women over.
Get over yourself Lindy. No one wants your snatch anyway.

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