One: Long ago bored of zombies. Two: This comes across as an arrogant jerk making fun of baristas. The most successful zombie story I can remember is Shaun of the Dead, because at least it was healthily self-deprecating while it implied that the rat race makes us zombies.
I've been contemplating writing a zombie story for a while, about a zombie outbreak whose only symptoms are an irresistable compulsion to bite the non-infected. (In other words, not really zombies at all.)
Maybe I'll get on that.
If you want a zombie story with no actual zombies, just a psychopath trying to create his own personal zombie, you have one more weekend to check out Zombie at Burien Little Theatre's late night shows. It's from a Joyce Carol Oates novella, loosely based on Jeffrey Dahmer, and it has a real powerhouse of a performance in it (it's a one-man show).
Still don't get this fad.
Also, for what its worth, Will in Seattle is WAY more important to Slog than Fnarf ever could or would be.
You go, Will, get down with your bad self.
Maybe I'll get on that.