What about the everything in moderation option?
They are almost always eye-rollingly stupid.
Can we have a separate Slog post that features all of Goldy's excised puns?
I second @3!!
Let's get rid of punts instead.
A pun is a bloody rare medium well done
When I applied for employment at the ACLU some years ago, my would-be supervisor asked me if I liked puns. I said I did if they had powdered sugar on them. I think that's why I got the job.
I can BEARly stand them!
I like puns and their trailer trash cousin, the double entendre. "Hur hur, he said 'Sequim'".
The Pate of Huns? I imagine they are odd shaped.
i'm for puns.
* but clever ones, not the ones that get used all the time. example: "panda-monium!" on every. single. video of a panda doing something silly. STOP IT.
Half of Asia is ascended from Puns.
Reading your posts is a constant slog.
Goldy is precious, but his gun posts are way off target.
Still better than Cienna, who's almost a yellow journalist. She dug her own hole on women's issues.

First, I'm not getting Maine-ly Nails.

Second, I've never heard a pun from someone thinking their clever. The New York Post, Groucho Marx, every frozen yogurt business ever—I think they're all pretty aware of the ridiculousness they have sewn. Point me to a person that feels genuinely clever for having thought of a pun, and I will condemn thee.

Third, portmanteaus are the new puns, and they're just as terrible/great.
among my personal favorites: there's a fried chicken place in NYC called "pluck you."
"He who would pun would pick a pocket"
Quality counts—the full quote is "A man who could make SO VILE a pun would not scruple to pick a pocket."

(emphasis mine)
Ha-ha, Paul! Once again I have been proven to be a man of the people!

I think Paul Constant's elitist hatred of puns must come from a lifetime of being tortured by puns on his name—that's what comes from having a homophone for a first name and a common word for the last. Whereas every time somebody tries to pun on "David Goldstein," it just comes out sounding anti-Semitic.
They say puns are the lowest form of humor. Which is true - indeed, they're the very foundation of humor.
The poll choices are too binary.

I enjoy a good pun. The problem is that I have to listen to dozens of bad puns for every rare good pun. The hit ratio for good/bad puns is terribly low, and sometimes I'm not sure if it is worth it at all.
Quality matters. "Maine-ly Nails?" Ugh. "Big bottom's got me out of my mind / how can I leave this behind?" Genius.
The only puns I find acceptable are the names of hair salons, which are the highest form of human expression ever devised -- Shear Madness, Hair's Looking At You Kid, Combing Attractions, Curl Up and Dye, etc. Especially if they have a yellow plastic dimensional sign with a head or two on it, and double especially if the male head has a booshy seventies mustache.
@25, the reminds me of the geometry title I once spotted at the library: Here's Looking at Euclid.
Puns are a staple of newspaper headlines. The Stranger doesn't fare too bad today, but I do see the headline "Green Pizza" on an article about Pagliacci.
So to paraphrase, puns are a constant irritation.
"The pun is the lowest form of humor. Who said that?"

"Probably somebody who was sick of hearing them."
Google this: "seattle times 'a whale of a'" -- and see how many times they have used the same lazy pun in headlines.
The Seattle Times isn't worth mine. Is that a pun?
Paul asserts that there is no motivation to use puns in this city, but the comments argue that there is plenty of will in Seattle.
It depends on the pun. If I haven't heard it before it's delightful. If I'm heard it a million times, *groan*.
The only puns I can abide are ones made by my dad, and that's only because he's not a native speaker of English. His delight in them is cute somehow. All other puns must die.
Good puns are good (see Shakespeare), but too often the bad ones are accompanied by "(pun intended)" or "(pun not intended)"--as in "see how clever I am". If you make a good pun kiss it and send it into the world, without pointing out to readers how clever you are.
"Growing up in Maine, I lost count of how many businesses called themselves Maine-ly Hair or Maine-ly Nails."

The Blues Brothers and "Curl Up and Dye". Hilarious. This Maine-ly pun you mention, however, humorless. At the very least, I'd expect hair salons to go with Maine's Main Mane Managers. Alliteration is the new puntification.
Suck it pun-haters!
Yes, I would also like to read Goldy's excised puns and then decide. I may change my mind now that @24 has reminded me of such a pun masterpiece which is still fresh 28 years on.
@25 And laundromats. I used to frequent a laundromat in Brooklyn called "Bleach House." I appreciated the literary reference.
The original displeasure for puns, especially in the great PCW, is what has endeared them to us. We are the hipster word-ies.
@25 I used to have to walk past "Scissor's Palace" on lower QA every day on the way to work. It was like nails on a chalkboard every time.
Why are you punishing us like this?


That's a spoonerism.
My feeling on this is that you can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.
@26 - I literally laughed out loud. That was great. :)
@26 is pretty much the only non-terrible pun I have heard in many years. Nevertheless, it will be irritating if I ever hear it again.
What about all the wacky pet places? Muttley Crew Cuts, the Barka Lounge, the Dogfather, etc.
That's a good angle.
Is What the Pho' in Rainier Valley still in business?
@12 Tell me about it... it's pun-demonium!
Regarding hair salons: the root of the problem is that their task is split between having a catchy name and finding one that hasn't already been taken.

Paul, it's a shame that you've allowed such irritants to adversely color your judgment.
Fnarf @ 25: There's one in Queens called Bangs of new York.

Also, remember when Indiana won the NCAA title and the Seattle Times front page read, "HOOSIER DADDY?" That was good stuff.
I used to enjoy puns until Dear Prudie's tortured, forced, and unfunny uses of the device finally showed me why they are so despised.
The Simpsons will forever win the hair salon pun contest with "Turn Your Head and Coif".
I love a good pun. One of my friends in college would do themed punning for entire conversations. He once kept up talking in bird puns for a good 2 hours. Some of them were lame but the dedication and creativity to keep it going made it absolutely hilarious. The problem is that most people who pun aren't that creative.
@26 - Thank you. If I hadn't read that, I would have regretted it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow...

@25 - On The Simpsons (and other shows), I always watch for business names in the background. My favorite so far has been Something Wicker This Way Comes.
Puns keep the mind alive, they are mental exercise.
Similiar to @54, Tree-based puns are particularly fertile ground for that sort of challenge, imho.

I liked "Pool Sharks -where you're our chum." That was the Rear Window episode where Bart broke his leg and thought Flanders had murdered Maude.
@58 - And the opening sequence of Bob's Burgers always has a pun for the business name next door and the exterminator van.
@48 I prefer Pho King Restaurant in Tacoma:
Pho Dat in Smokey Point always gets a chuckle out of me. Sometimes a chortle.
@47, you are so right.
My favorite pun is from Hedwig and the Angry Inch: "I had just been dismissed from University after delivering a brilliant lecture on the aggressive influence of German philosophy on rock 'n' roll entitled 'You, Kant, Always Get What You Want.'" This is another way of saying good puns should be very well considered, lest you end up with a hair salon called Fringe Benefits.
thai restaurants always seem to have decent puns:
Thai One On
the now defunct Thaiku
En Thai Sing
Thai Noon

Please wait...

Comments are closed.

Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.

Add a comment

By posting this comment, you are agreeing to our Terms of Use.