Temple

(MUSICAL THEATER) Musicals have been made from unlikely source material before--Cats was made from the poetry of highbrow modernist T. S. Eliot, and Sweeney Todd from a legendary series of grisly murders--but this knocks me out: Temple is based on the life of Dr. Temple Grandin, an autistic woman whose experiences led her to revolutionize the design of feedlots, corrals, and (most famously) slaughterhouses. Writer Silvia Pet and composer Norman Durkee (who created some of the music for Teatro Zinzanni, among other things) have taken events from Grandin's childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, and aspire to transform them into song. Wow. This workshop presentation will be something to see. BRET FETZER

Seattle Repertory Theatre, 155 Mercer St, 443-2222. Fri-Sat at 7:30, Sun at 2; $15. One weekend only.

The Gods of Times Square

(FILM) The Gods of Times Square is something of a horror film. Comprised of numerous interviews with the street preachers of yesterday's Times Square, the film boasts a dozen performances that traverse the whole spectrum of spiritual madness, from the chain smoker whose roommate is Jesus Christ to the sun-baked tattoo lover constantly in need of a beer. The movie seems funny on the outside, but reveals a horriffic heart--not because these people are frightening (they are not), but because, by the end, they have been Giulianied out of existence. Plays with Pie Fight '69. JAMIE HOOK

911 Media Arts, 117 Yale Ave N, 682-6552, 8 pm, $5.

Piece of Meat

(THEATER) Piece of Meat are back from their self-imposed search for stardom in L.A. to grace our backward burg for one night only, and you'd be a fool to miss the festivities. Since 1994, the four talented Cornish grads have suited up in blood-soaked gorilla suits to fearlessly pirouette the land-mine-strewn territory dividing the benign kingdom of sketch comedy from the unruly rebel faction of performance art. This all-new show may (or may not) showcase Hepatitis Al and Friends, George W. on a cocaine binge, and a redneck reincarnated as a Chicken McNugget. Then, in true Dionysian fashion, the psychedelic ragtime stylings of ex-Sage member Guy Davis' new band, Guardian Alien, will follow what promises to be another disturbing and hilarious display of chutzpah from our demented hometown heroes. TAMARA PARIS

Sit & Spin, 2219 Fourth Ave, 441-9484, 9:30 pm, $5.

Beyond Belief

(SHAMELESS PLUG) Those of you still concerned about the epistemological ramifications of Santa Claus will want to see Beyond Belief, a philosophical proof/holiday celebration created by The Stranger's own film editor Jamie Hook. Solo performer John Kaufmann (linger) addresses a panel of skeptical children and a dubious Santa (played by Stranger writer Charles Mudede); this live performance also features videotaped interviews with a charming group of three- to five-year-old boys and girls, exploring their belief and enthusiasm. If you were scarred by the faithlessness of your cynical parents, Beyond Belief could be downright redemptive. BRET FETZER

Little Theatre, 608 19th Ave E, 329-2629. Sat-Sun at 8; $12 general, $9 NWFF members. One weekend only.

Digital Underground

(LIVE MUSIC) Parliament funky with an Oakland edge, Digital Underground's Sex Packets started the '90s out with a hiphop bang. Everybody with basic cable could learn to do the Humpty Dance, but the smart ones delved further into the album, found tracks like "Doowutchyalike" and "Freaks of the Industry," and made them soundtracks for both the bumpin' basement party and the satin-sheeted bedroom. The DU glory days may have passed after solid follow-up Sons of the P faded from radio play, but the crew's smart, sick irreverence and funky freshness are still intact. Yes, there's word of a lot of onstage booty talk, and even some impromptu show-and-tell at live shows, but that is not why I recommend them, you dirty birdies. LEAH GREENBLATT

I-Spy, 1921 Fifth Ave, 374-9492, 7 pm (all ages) and 10:30 pm (21+), $20.

Tom Douglas

(READING) For some women, it's shoes. For others, it's cashmere. My frivolous weakness--the can't-turn-it-down, blow-my-paycheck, absolute CONSUMER SOFT SPOT--is fancy dinners. Which is why I'm so excited about Tom Douglas' Seattle Kitchen, the latest project from one of Seattle's founding fathers of fancy dinners. In this book/recipe collection, Chef Douglas (the man behind Dahlia Lounge, Palace Kitchen, and Etta's Seafood) schools us on our delectable regional cuisine, his personal culinary philosophy, and how to re-create his most popular menu items. Examples from the book: Sake-Steamed Sockeye Salmon with Sake Butter, with Oregon Pinot Noir Raspberry Sorbet; or Parsnip-Apple Hash and Maple-Cured Double-Cut Pork Chops with Grilled Apple Rings and Creamy Corn Grits. HELLO? Need I say more? (And yes, there will be food samples at this reading. Just get out of my way.) MIN LIAO

University Bookstore, 4326 University Way NE, 634-3400, noon, free.

Movies for Screamin' Kids!

(ANIMATED SHORTS) There are few things more inspiring than a theater full of screaming children. The King Street Co-Op, a co-operative daycare in the Central District, is throwing itself a fundraiser today, and when I say you'd best bring your kids down, you'd best bring your kids DOWN! The lineup of animated shorts includes such favorites as Gerald McBoing Boing, the Dr. Seuss creation The Hoober Bloob Highway, and a rare screening of Terry Toon's Hashimoto San, about an issei mouse. JAMIE HOOK

Little Theatre, 608 19th Ave E, 675-2055, 11 am and 1 pm, $3.50.

Feral Cat Spay/Neuter Project

(UNSELFISH HOLIDAY ACTIVITY) Don't you just love the holidays? Don't you just adore Christmas shopping and spending cozy winter evenings with hot cocoa and a good book? WELL THAT'S NICE, YOU SMUG MOTHERFUCKER. But what about homeless cats? What about stray cats who don't have food, water, shelter, or medical care? Huh? And suppose a stray cat, who's got all these problems already, gets knocked up and suddenly has all these helpless, adorable kittens to take care of? OH, TERRIFIC, MORE HOMELESS CATS. Come on, people. If you cut a check for a mere $20.25, the Feral Cat Spay/Neuter Project will be able to provide one cat with spay/neuter surgery, a rabies vaccination, and other basic veterinary care. Yes, it's tax-deductible, you greedy bastard. And hurry up--breeding season begins in February. MIN LIAO

Send checks and tender thoughts to the Feral Cat Spay/Neuter Project, PMB Suite D-5 #112, 13619 Mukilteo Speedway, Lynnwood, WA 98037-1606, 528-8125 or www.spaycat.org.

Paisley Rekdal

(READING) It has been a busy fall for Seattle-born writer Paisley Rekdal, with the publication of her first two books: a collection of personal essays, The Night My Mother Met Bruce Lee, and a poetry book selected by Mark Strand for the University of Georgia Press, entitled A Crash of Rhinos. There is thematic overlap, including that night of her mother's life, her grandfather's laundromat, and phrases from the bilingual handbook Making out in Korean. There's also Captain Cook's experience with tattoos in Tahiti, a Far Side cartoon, and the relation of Pluto to its satellite Charon. Rekdal accomplishes vividly sexual writing that is not sensational; she seeks out intensity, be it in relationships or the explosion of the Challenger. As she writes in Rhinos of a childhood house fire, "Forget safety. Tell me more about accident." BRIAN HOPKINS

Elliott Bay Book Company, 101 S Main, 624-6600, 7:30 pm, advance tickets available free at store.

Taisho Kimono

(ART) There's not much in this exhibition of kimonos from the 1920s that squares with the usual ideas about Japan. The fabrics are anything but contemplative (or what we bastardizingly insist on calling "Zen"); the colors and patterns are very bright and loud and modern. Some would not be out of place in the retro-'80s clothing I see everywhere: One looks like something that Frank Lloyd Wright would have loved, others echo the forms and colors of art deco patterning. Almost all the kimonos are created using a kind of weaving known as kasuri (or, more familiarly, ikat) in which the threads of the warp and weft are predyed to create the patterns. (Not surprisingly, the garments were tremendously expensive, running into the thousands of dollars each.) It's a gorgeous example of art merging with everyday life, and more proof that the Japanese do almost everything better than we do. EMILY HALL

Honeychurch Antiques, 1008 James St, 622-1225. Tues-Sat 11 am-5 pm. Through Jan 27.

MightyBigTV

(WEBSITE) Just because you've got things to do doesn't mean you should have to miss out on your favorite TV dramas. Taping is a crock; if you don't have time to watch your favorite show when it's on, then odds are you won't have time to watch a tape of it later. What to do? Log on to MightyBigTV.com and get snappy, complete reviews of ALL the popular network and cable dramas, including Once and Again, The Practice, Dawson's Creek, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Ally McBeal, The West Wing, Titans--even Ed and E.R. Each episode is retold scene for scene. Nothing is left out, and the reviewer even editorializes, so it's just like watching the shows yourself without the bother of actually having to. KATHLEEN WILSON

www.mightybigtv.com.