Send legible confessions, apologies, and accusations of 400 words or less, changing the names of the innocent and guilty, to "I, Anonymous," c/o The Stranger, 1535 11th Ave., 3rd floor, Seattle WA 98122, or e-mail us at anonymous@thestranger.com.Stabbed by ScissorsOkay, now that it's been a year and a half since I left your stalking ass, would you mind finally shutting your big fat trap and stop lying about me? I realize the only way your sorry sociopathic ass can get any attention is by making up incredible lies in order for people to feel sorry for you... but c'mon! Stop using my name when you're spreading around your sorrowful bullshit! I mean, yeah, so you stabbed me in the leg with a pair of scissors... big deal, I'm over it. But is it really necessary to tell people I did it to myself???

Ha! It sounds funny now, mostly because it's so stupid. And since I'm finally finishing up seven and a half months in the King County Jail, that should do a lot to clear up your "she's a snitch" lie-- as if anyone who mattered would believe it! Get a hint, pal. It's been a long time. I've gotten over it... so why don't you grow out of it?

--Anonymous