I, ANONYMOUS

Send your unsigned legible confessions and accusations of 400 words or less, changing the names of the innocent and guilty, to "I, Anonymous," c/o The Stranger, 1535 11th Ave., Third Floor, Seattle WA 98122, or e-mail us at anonymous@thestranger.com.

The killer of Kurt Cobain would most likely be a deranged, obsessive fanatic whose entire life revolves around his victim, just like Mark David Chapman and John Lennon. But unlike Chapman, it could be that Kurt's killer is far too smart to get caught, and is hiding in plain sight. Watching public access recently, it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks -- could the assassin be none other than Richard "Kurt Cobain Was Murdered" Lee?

Consider the following: Lee's life has become one long riff on Kurt. His show is not titled "Was Kurt Cobain Murdered?" because this would infer he didn't already know the answer. Like many criminal geniuses, maybe he wants to get caught, in order to show what fools the cops are. How many times has he chased the chief of police down the street, suggesting all sorts of leads and demanding to know why the cops aren't following up?

If he did do it, his true genius lies in how he has made himself so annoying that everyone dismisses him. The case is closed, and people "in the know" say there is nothing more to investigate. People, could it be that the man you are so irritably dismissing is in actuality a criminal mastermind, laughing at your haughty asses? If so (and if he's ever caught), he'll have exposed the entire law enforcement community as a bunch of Keystone Kops! Richard Lee, I salute you and your demented brilliance!

-- Anonymous

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Hey Anonymous Readers!

Next week concludes "Crackpot Kurt Cobain Murder Theory" month, so you may now resume sending in your guilt-dripping confessions.