Thanks in part to his upcoming performance this weekend at Bumbershoot, Michael Stipe, former Stranger columnist and lead singer for R.E.M., has agreed to write a few more installments of the column that has more readers than Savage Love and Dave Barry combined: the utterly sublime What's My Gripe? by Michael Stipe. [Advertisers please note: This is a limited series, and due to overwhelming response, advertising space surrounding What's My Gripe? by Michael Stipe will be sold using the lottery system. Call our Sales Dept. for details.] -- eds.

The Internet is the new plantation. Just look how rich Bill Gates is, compared to the people who work for him. It's like they're working for nothing; in other words, SLAVERY. Okay, forget those people; let's choose an example even closer to home -- ME. Let's say I go to CDNow.com where I have to buy my own fucking CD. I log in, give them my credit card... and what happens? I end up paying for the thing I made with my own sweat and blood! What's up with that? See, it IS the new plantation. But instead of "chains" we have "modems," and instead of "overseers" we have "Net browsers." And check this out! I have a friend who is a woman and she writes reviews for Amazon.com... and she only gets paid somewhere around 25 cents a word! That company is worth billions!! And this woman is only getting paid pennies to review the books of the authors who write the books who in turn have to pay for them?? WHO gets all the money? The plantation owners do, that's who! AND I CALL BULLSHIT ON THAT!

-- Michael Stipe