BY KATHLEEN WILSON

Now I have the bite marks to prove it. So I'm mindin' my own beeswax, standing at the register after ordering food to go, when all of a sudden I experience the distinct sensation of having a full set of teeth sunk into my unsuspecting bottom. And not the teeth of just anyone -- the teeth of former Nirvana bassist Krist Novoselic! I and a whole restaurant full of diners gasp in surprise as I realize why I feel like I have an Alaskan King Crab hanging off my ass. "Hi. How's it goin'?" he says calmly, then asks me to join him and Yva Las Vegas at their table. Not yet recovered, I'm still wondering exactly what provoked the chomp-ass when I realize Novoselic thinks he's the infamous "tall and lanky bass-playing butt biter" I mentioned a couple of columns ago. You should have heard all the "ah, geez!"-ing and apologizing going on after I informed him that the title belonged to Soundgarden bassist Ben Shepherd! However, I have to give Krist his props for copping to something he didn't remember doing simply because he's "been getting wild lately." Refreshing behavior in this city of soreheads.

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Last week I received an e-mail tip directing me to online auction site eBay. Currently up for bid was a full-frontal nude photo of all three members of Modest Mouse. The "description" section bragged that the snapshot had been lifted from a backpack stowed backstage during one of Modest Mouse's sets somewhere in the Midwest. Asking price was a ridiculous $1,000, and after two days in, there still weren't any bids. Good people. When I checked the site the following morning to see if some jerk had started the ball rolling, the site had been altered to read, "Shame on you if you are stupid enough to bid on this." No one had.

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Seattle's metal bands have formed a union. The "Head Trauma Coalition," a group of 12 local heavy bands including For the Love of Suffering, Sludgeplow, Himsa, and Christdriver, have vowed to play shows at participating clubs on rotation, charging a standard $1 cover charge with all proceeds to be reinvested in the coalition. Look for a compilation CD and a website to crop up in the near future.

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Fans of Marlboro smokes were treated to an intimate performance by Soul Asylum last week at the Ballard Firehouse. The where-are-they-now band was paid an incredible 50 grand to play for an audience of 40 or so puffers who had saved up 200 Marlboro Miles. Despite the tiny audience, Soul Asylum put on a great fucking show, as did frontman Dave Pirner -- who dressed for the occasion by wearing an ancient pair of tighty-whiteys that were so ratty I thought it was a jock at first glance. Perhaps they were his "show" underpants, because he had changed into boxers by the time he arrived at the R.E.M. after-show party at the Crocodile later that night. (Yes, I checked.) That party was rock star central, with Eddie Vedder and his wife Beth, along with members of Rocket From The Crypt, Fastbacks, Hovercraft, Murder City Devils, Presidents Of The United States Of America, and of course Soul Asylum and R.E.M. all crowding the bar at last call. As usual, Michael Stipe looked like an expensively-dressed bag of bones, despite his festive glitter eyeshadow.